do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't rent our vacation house, but we love when friends or family can use it when we can't. We use a cleaning service after our own stays, and we tend to ask people to pay that...but it's a tiny fraction of what renting a house would be.

Maybe because we don't rent the place this doesn't seem like an imposition...but my parents have a place that'll they rent our, but they let friends and family use it for free.

For us and my parents, the properties are there for enjoyment and also are long term investments. 1-2 weeks of rent or a cleaning fee just doesn't change the math at all. But friends enjoying themselves? That gives me joy as well.

Previous poster again. I could have written this post as well!!
It gives me great joy to know that quite a few of our friends have enjoyed our house over the years and have made their own memories there. It's a happy place a few blocks from the ocean.

We feel very fortunate to have purchased it when we did. It was a lucky move the year after hurricane Sandy.

Yes, it makes me ecstatic to give up a prime rental week, and not use it myself, for people who don't respect the place as their own and expect to use it every year for free. Here, let me move my things out for you so you can move in. Why don't you take the whole summer? On me! We can deliver groceries by hand, too. Let me know what you need. I especially love paying your cleaning fee. Because doormat. What else do you expect for free? By all means, name it! We didn't buy the house for us, we bought it for you. Everything is for you. When can we deliver the keys? So you want keys to all the house, or just one?

This thread takes the cake. Y'all think people are thinking about you, when they have their own families, and their own issues first and foremost, to tend to. GMAB.

This really can’t be emphasized enough… if you are thinking of a “prime rental week” you aren’t the landed gentry with a second home you pretend to be. You own an investment property that generates income you need to support yourself and your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't rent our vacation house, but we love when friends or family can use it when we can't. We use a cleaning service after our own stays, and we tend to ask people to pay that...but it's a tiny fraction of what renting a house would be.

Maybe because we don't rent the place this doesn't seem like an imposition...but my parents have a place that'll they rent our, but they let friends and family use it for free.

For us and my parents, the properties are there for enjoyment and also are long term investments. 1-2 weeks of rent or a cleaning fee just doesn't change the math at all. But friends enjoying themselves? That gives me joy as well.

Previous poster again. I could have written this post as well!!
It gives me great joy to know that quite a few of our friends have enjoyed our house over the years and have made their own memories there. It's a happy place a few blocks from the ocean.

We feel very fortunate to have purchased it when we did. It was a lucky move the year after hurricane Sandy.

Yes, it makes me ecstatic to give up a prime rental week, and not use it myself, for people who don't respect the place as their own and expect to use it every year for free. Here, let me move my things out for you so you can move in. Why don't you take the whole summer? On me! We can deliver groceries by hand, too. Let me know what you need. I especially love paying your cleaning fee. Because doormat. What else do you expect for free? By all means, name it! We didn't buy the house for us, we bought it for you. Everything is for you. When can we deliver the keys? So you want keys to all the house, or just one?

This thread takes the cake. Y'all think people are thinking about you, when they have their own families, and their own issues first and foremost, to tend to. GMAB.

This really can’t be emphasized enough… if you are thinking of a “prime rental week” you aren’t the landed gentry with a second home you pretend to be. You own an investment property that generates income you need to support yourself and your family.

So what is your message? Steal from the rich and give to the self described "poor"? What is "poor"? Private school is poor? Living in a certain zip code but not others is poor? Driving a certain car but not others is poor? Wife stamping her foot is "poor"? I am so confused about the counting other people's money thing? If they have no family help for anything, ever, are they rich or poor? If they have bills, are you paying them, or someone else? So many questions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no because if anything happens to property, it will ruin friendship.

Do you also end a friendship when someone's child breaks something at your house?

Way different than someone asking to stay an entire weekend..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue that the non owners do not understand, or care to see, is that there are shut down/close up procedures that only the owners are privy to. There is much overlooked from the something for nothing crowd.

Also, it costs, whether you like it or not, to have the house occupied for a week. Not all second home owners are rich, unless you see people "friends" as "how they can serve you". In which case, they already know this, and you have your answer, even though you may not like it.

I am not sure what PP thinks entitles them to use of another's house - could someone answer this? It is definitely not "free".

Do you charge your friends when they come over for dinner?

Again, if they invite themselves over and bring nothing to the table, I might..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't rent our vacation house, but we love when friends or family can use it when we can't. We use a cleaning service after our own stays, and we tend to ask people to pay that...but it's a tiny fraction of what renting a house would be.

Maybe because we don't rent the place this doesn't seem like an imposition...but my parents have a place that'll they rent our, but they let friends and family use it for free.

For us and my parents, the properties are there for enjoyment and also are long term investments. 1-2 weeks of rent or a cleaning fee just doesn't change the math at all. But friends enjoying themselves? That gives me joy as well.

Previous poster again. I could have written this post as well!!
It gives me great joy to know that quite a few of our friends have enjoyed our house over the years and have made their own memories there. It's a happy place a few blocks from the ocean.

We feel very fortunate to have purchased it when we did. It was a lucky move the year after hurricane Sandy.

Yes, it makes me ecstatic to give up a prime rental week, and not use it myself, for people who don't respect the place as their own and expect to use it every year for free. Here, let me move my things out for you so you can move in. Why don't you take the whole summer? On me! We can deliver groceries by hand, too. Let me know what you need. I especially love paying your cleaning fee. Because doormat. What else do you expect for free? By all means, name it! We didn't buy the house for us, we bought it for you. Everything is for you. When can we deliver the keys? So you want keys to all the house, or just one?

This thread takes the cake. Y'all think people are thinking about you, when they have their own families, and their own issues first and foremost, to tend to. GMAB.

This really can’t be emphasized enough… if you are thinking of a “prime rental week” you aren’t the landed gentry with a second home you pretend to be. You own an investment property that generates income you need to support yourself and your family.

So what is your message? Steal from the rich and give to the self described "poor"? What is "poor"? Private school is poor? Living in a certain zip code but not others is poor? Driving a certain car but not others is poor? Wife stamping her foot is "poor"? I am so confused about the counting other people's money thing? If they have no family help for anything, ever, are they rich or poor? If they have bills, are you paying them, or someone else? So many questions!

DP here:
You're taking this topic way too personally. Settle down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't rent our vacation house, but we love when friends or family can use it when we can't. We use a cleaning service after our own stays, and we tend to ask people to pay that...but it's a tiny fraction of what renting a house would be.

Maybe because we don't rent the place this doesn't seem like an imposition...but my parents have a place that'll they rent our, but they let friends and family use it for free.

For us and my parents, the properties are there for enjoyment and also are long term investments. 1-2 weeks of rent or a cleaning fee just doesn't change the math at all. But friends enjoying themselves? That gives me joy as well.

Previous poster again. I could have written this post as well!!
It gives me great joy to know that quite a few of our friends have enjoyed our house over the years and have made their own memories there. It's a happy place a few blocks from the ocean.

We feel very fortunate to have purchased it when we did. It was a lucky move the year after hurricane Sandy.

Yes, it makes me ecstatic to give up a prime rental week, and not use it myself, for people who don't respect the place as their own and expect to use it every year for free. Here, let me move my things out for you so you can move in. Why don't you take the whole summer? On me! We can deliver groceries by hand, too. Let me know what you need. I especially love paying your cleaning fee. Because doormat. What else do you expect for free? By all means, name it! We didn't buy the house for us, we bought it for you. Everything is for you. When can we deliver the keys? So you want keys to all the house, or just one?

This thread takes the cake. Y'all think people are thinking about you, when they have their own families, and their own issues first and foremost, to tend to. GMAB.

This really can’t be emphasized enough… if you are thinking of a “prime rental week” you aren’t the landed gentry with a second home you pretend to be. You own an investment property that generates income you need to support yourself and your family.

So what is your message? Steal from the rich and give to the self described "poor"? What is "poor"? Private school is poor? Living in a certain zip code but not others is poor? Driving a certain car but not others is poor? Wife stamping her foot is "poor"? I am so confused about the counting other people's money thing? If they have no family help for anything, ever, are they rich or poor? If they have bills, are you paying them, or someone else? So many questions!

DP here:
You're taking this topic way too personally. Settle down.

Is one's home not "personal"? Why the entitlement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no because if anything happens to property, it will ruin friendship.

Do you also end a friendship when someone's child breaks something at your house?

Way different than someone asking to stay an entire weekend..

Um, not way different than the post to which it was responsive, which discusses damage to property. Keep up.

[Anonymous]

As a data point -- my girlfriend hosted a bachelorette party at her MIL's very nice hampton's beach home. MIL also has homes in NYC and Aspen, family is worth at least $100M+. MIL charged her a slightly (but not that) discounted rate for use of the home that weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I was gonna say, how EXACTLY did they segue into asking? That takes some chutzpah. "Even though you're not coming, you wouldn't mind if we went up there anyways, would you?" Uhhh, actually I would mind.

[Anonymous]

They should not have proposed it.

Rude and presumptuous on their part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I was gonna say, how EXACTLY did they segue into asking? That takes some chutzpah. "Even though you're not coming, you wouldn't mind if we went up there anyways, would you?" Uhhh, actually I would mind.

+1. Geesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I was gonna say, how EXACTLY did they segue into asking? That takes some chutzpah. "Even though you're not coming, you wouldn't mind if we went up there anyways, would you?" Uhhh, actually I would mind.

+1. Geesus.

I'm the OP. It went something like, "what's going on at the lake this weekend? I know you won't be there but I really miss (insert bar name here) and the quiet of being at the lake."

DH (after talking it over with me) : I think we've had inquiries to rent it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I was gonna say, how EXACTLY did they segue into asking? That takes some chutzpah. "Even though you're not coming, you wouldn't mind if we went up there anyways, would you?" Uhhh, actually I would mind.

+1. Geesus.

I'm the OP. It went something like, "what's going on at the lake this weekend? I know you won't be there but I really miss (insert bar name here) and the quiet of being at the lake."

DH (after talking it over with me) : I think we've had inquiries to rent it.

I would have played dumb: "Oh, I totally miss it too. Can't wait for our next chance to have you up there with us! XXOO"

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the whole thread, but, letting friends (and family) stay at your 2nd home is a slippery slope. Nobody stays at our beach house unless we are there. And then they are our guests, and we don't charge them.

[Anonymous]

If these are friends I'm close enough to vacation with, then yes of course. But we come from a culture of hospitality so ymmv.