do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

Yes!!! Best thing about being lucky enough to have a vacation place is sharing with those I love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't rent our vacation house, but we love when friends or family can use it when we can't. We use a cleaning service after our own stays, and we tend to ask people to pay that...but it's a tiny fraction of what renting a house would be.

Maybe because we don't rent the place this doesn't seem like an imposition...but my parents have a place that'll they rent our, but they let friends and family use it for free.

For us and my parents, the properties are there for enjoyment and also are long term investments. 1-2 weeks of rent or a cleaning fee just doesn't change the math at all. But friends enjoying themselves? That gives me joy as well.

Previous poster again. I could have written this post as well!!
It gives me great joy to know that quite a few of our friends have enjoyed our house over the years and have made their own memories there. It's a happy place a few blocks from the ocean.

We feel very fortunate to have purchased it when we did. It was a lucky move the year after hurricane Sandy.

Yes, it makes me ecstatic to give up a prime rental week, and not use it myself, for people who don't respect the place as their own and expect to use it every year for free. Here, let me move my things out for you so you can move in. Why don't you take the whole summer? On me! We can deliver groceries by hand, too. Let me know what you need. I especially love paying your cleaning fee. Because doormat. What else do you expect for free? By all means, name it! We didn't buy the house for us, we bought it for you. Everything is for you. When can we deliver the keys? So you want keys to all the house, or just one?

This thread takes the cake. Y'all think people are thinking about you, when they have their own families, and their own issues first and foremost, to tend to. GMAB.

This. Takers gonna take.

[Anonymous]

I would say no because if anything happens to property, it will ruin friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no because if anything happens to property, it will ruin friendship.

The odds of the person who expects something for nothing having caused damage to your property is fairly high, as other PP pointed out.

[Anonymous]

I get not wanting to share your home for a lot of reasons, but the ephemeral "I feel like I'm being used and they only want me for my house" is off somehow. Like, you don't have solid friendships or good self esteem.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely do this, as a favor, for my best friends. No guest can clean up to rental standards, so there will be a clean-up anyway. For my friends, if the house isn't rented anyway, I would ask them to pay for the cleaning, but not the rental.

[Anonymous]

The issue that the non owners do not understand, or care to see, is that there are shut down/close up procedures that only the owners are privy to. There is much overlooked from the something for nothing crowd.

Also, it costs, whether you like it or not, to have the house occupied for a week. Not all second home owners are rich, unless you see people "friends" as "how they can serve you". In which case, they already know this, and you have your answer, even though you may not like it.

I am not sure what PP thinks entitles them to use of another's house - could someone answer this? It is definitely not "free".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely do this, as a favor, for my best friends. No guest can clean up to rental standards, so there will be a clean-up anyway. For my friends, if the house isn't rented anyway, I would ask them to pay for the cleaning, but not the rental.

Yes, I know, you keep telling us this. Not sure why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get not wanting to share your home for a lot of reasons, but the ephemeral "I feel like I'm being used and they only want me for my house" is off somehow. Like, you don't have solid friendships or good self esteem.

Because it is their home and your feeling entitled to it is offputting. No big mystery.

[Anonymous]

I let my friends from home use it, because I know them, their families, and have a clear and positive history with them. They have done no wrong, so they are trustworthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no because if anything happens to property, it will ruin friendship.

Do you also end a friendship when someone's child breaks something at your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue that the non owners do not understand, or care to see, is that there are shut down/close up procedures that only the owners are privy to. There is much overlooked from the something for nothing crowd.

Also, it costs, whether you like it or not, to have the house occupied for a week. Not all second home owners are rich, unless you see people "friends" as "how they can serve you". In which case, they already know this, and you have your answer, even though you may not like it.

I am not sure what PP thinks entitles them to use of another's house - could someone answer this? It is definitely not "free".

OMG, give it a rest. Plenty of us have said we do own second homes and we do share them. I don't get why you can't comprehend that.

You know how you can make someone privy to your shut down/close up procedures? You tell them, the same way you tell a renter. Your friends must be as dim as you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue that the non owners do not understand, or care to see, is that there are shut down/close up procedures that only the owners are privy to. There is much overlooked from the something for nothing crowd.

Also, it costs, whether you like it or not, to have the house occupied for a week. Not all second home owners are rich, unless you see people "friends" as "how they can serve you". In which case, they already know this, and you have your answer, even though you may not like it.

I am not sure what PP thinks entitles them to use of another's house - could someone answer this? It is definitely not "free".

Do you charge your friends when they come over for dinner?

Do you compare receipts for children's gifts to confirm that they spent as much on your children's birthday presents as you did on theirs?

Do you request a Venmo for gas money when you give a friend a ride?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The issue that the non owners do not understand, or care to see, is that there are shut down/close up procedures that only the owners are privy to. There is much overlooked from the something for nothing crowd.

Also, it costs, whether you like it or not, to have the house occupied for a week. Not all second home owners are rich, unless you see people "friends" as "how they can serve you". In which case, they already know this, and you have your answer, even though you may not like it.

I am not sure what PP thinks entitles them to use of another's house - could someone answer this? It is definitely not "free". [/quote]

OMG, give it a rest. Plenty of us have said we do own second homes and we do share them. I don't get why you can't comprehend that.

You know how you can make someone privy to your shut down/close up procedures? You tell them, the same way you tell a renter. Your friends must be as dim as you are. [/quote]

The entitlement - can you address that? What makes you first in line for their house? This is a legitimate question, because I can not fathom asking someone who I know uses their house and also rents their house, and also has a short season of rentals, some of which may be last minute. Am I the Queen of England, or something, that I should be first in line?

I am wondering, because there is a poster that is persistent in how "willing" they would be to rent their alleged house? It seems perplexing to me that they think this? Also how many houses do they own? And how rich are they, that his is a nonchalant non issue? That they can give away high weeks willy nilly? Because I know people with beach houses (not condos), but I don't know anyone this rich, so again, I am wondering.

Their house, their choice, no? If they wanted me to have a week, wouldn't they approach me and tell me? Or am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue that the non owners do not understand, or care to see, is that there are shut down/close up procedures that only the owners are privy to. There is much overlooked from the something for nothing crowd.

Also, it costs, whether you like it or not, to have the house occupied for a week. Not all second home owners are rich, unless you see people "friends" as "how they can serve you". In which case, they already know this, and you have your answer, even though you may not like it.

I am not sure what PP thinks entitles them to use of another's house - could someone answer this? It is definitely not "free".

Do you charge your friends when they come over for dinner?

Do you compare receipts for children's gifts to confirm that they spent as much on your children's birthday presents as you did on theirs?

Do you request a Venmo for gas money when you give a friend a ride?

So what is the comparison here? Thousands vs. not thousands?