do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not odd.

We have several properties in Aspen, Hamptons, SF, and NYC. Our primary is MD.

Hard no for friends without us. Not friends and not siblings, or cousins etc no one.

The only time I let someone do this was after a loss of a child.

this is the most awesome post of the day

[Anonymous]

We don’t rent ours out. I would be happy to let close friends stay there, but only with instructions on what to do to close it up properly and clean or pay for cleaners. So far only family have used it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a condo in NYC. We don't allow anyone outside the family to stay there. If you're not blood, married in, or adopted in, you can't stay.

+1. Same. People generally do not treat your house the way you would treat it. I have only let one small group stay at one of our other homes, and that was at the height of covid, and I knew all of the members of the group well, and for many years. They gave a super generous thank you gift for the house, which we would never have bought on our own - they were truly grateful.

People who feel entitled? No way. Plus, people generally have zero idea what it takes to maintain a non-primary home, and the expenses involved - which is exacerbated if something breaks, etc. There are cleaning fees, caretaker fees, upkeep fees, etc. People have asked to bring their dog! It is easier to just shut it down early, instead of having to revisit the question. If you want to invite them to visit while you are there, that is different. We generally don't do that, because we want to see our friends and family from home (where it is located) and catch up.

No one has rights to your place, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You let strangers stay in your lake house so clearly it’s not an issue of privacy.

You invited these friends to stay in your lake house so clearly they are decent people. Presumably you’d rent the place to them?

So you just don’t want to share your property with friends who are close enough to vacation with, even though it’s sitting empty on this weekend they asked to go.

That’s one kind of way to be in this world.

I guess the other way is to be, takers. Lots of those.

Healthy relationships and friendships involve a balance between giving and taking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a condo in NYC. We don't allow anyone outside the family to stay there. If you're not blood, married in, or adopted in, you can't stay.

+1. Same. People generally do not treat your house the way you would treat it. I have only let one small group stay at one of our other homes, and that was at the height of covid, and I knew all of the members of the group well, and for many years. They gave a super generous thank you gift for the house, which we would never have bought on our own - they were truly grateful.

People who feel entitled? No way. Plus, people generally have zero idea what it takes to maintain a non-primary home, and the expenses involved - which is exacerbated if something breaks, etc. There are cleaning fees, caretaker fees, upkeep fees, etc. People have asked to bring their dog! It is easier to just shut it down early, instead of having to revisit the question. If you want to invite them to visit while you are there, that is different. We generally don't do that, because we want to see our friends and family from home (where it is located) and catch up.

No one has rights to your place, OP.

They've got strangers from the internet staying there every week!

[Anonymous]

If I had plans to go with friends, but I had to cancel, I would offer for them to go without us. For that same time period. Not like an IOU.

[Anonymous]

If others rent it from.vrbo, tell them to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I agree! Extremely entitled. They had the gall to ask, and you can say no. “I’m sorry, it’s closed up for the season!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a condo in NYC. We don't allow anyone outside the family to stay there. If you're not blood, married in, or adopted in, you can't stay.

+1. Same. People generally do not treat your house the way you would treat it. I have only let one small group stay at one of our other homes, and that was at the height of covid, and I knew all of the members of the group well, and for many years. They gave a super generous thank you gift for the house, which we would never have bought on our own - they were truly grateful.

People who feel entitled? No way. Plus, people generally have zero idea what it takes to maintain a non-primary home, and the expenses involved - which is exacerbated if something breaks, etc. There are cleaning fees, caretaker fees, upkeep fees, etc. People have asked to bring their dog! It is easier to just shut it down early, instead of having to revisit the question. If you want to invite them to visit while you are there, that is different. We generally don't do that, because we want to see our friends and family from home (where it is located) and catch up.

No one has rights to your place, OP.

They've got strangers from the internet staying there every week!

The strangers are vetted, and the strangers pay to use the house, and there are deposits to make sure that nothing is wrong with the house at the end of their use. There are other parameters in place to ensure that the contract is abided by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I agree! Extremely entitled. They had the gall to ask, and you can say no. “I’m sorry, it’s closed up for the season!”

They were already invited by the owner and thus planning to go so it's not a crazy question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I agree! Extremely entitled. They had the gall to ask, and you can say no. “I’m sorry, it’s closed up for the season!”

Well but they know it’s not closed for the season because we were gonna go two weeks ago.

[Anonymous]

Why are you calling in a second Home? It’s a rental property. It’s an investment. It’s not a second home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

I agree! Extremely entitled. They had the gall to ask, and you can say no. “I’m sorry, it’s closed up for the season!”

Well but they know it’s not closed for the season because we were gonna go two weeks ago.

Can't you just say "wait until we can join you", and leave it at that? It is your house. YOu can say whatever you want, really. No on is entitled to use property that belongs to you. Period.

[Anonymous]

I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you calling in a second Home? It’s a rental property. It’s an investment. It’s not a second home.

Umm because we’re there a lot!