do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

+100

Ask them to pay the cleaning fee, but don’t charge them rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

We were all planning on going two weeks ago and none of us could go because there was a raging blizzard going on.

Now, they wanna go this weekend and we are out of town/state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You let strangers stay in your lake house so clearly it’s not an issue of privacy.

You invited these friends to stay in your lake house so clearly they are decent people. Presumably you’d rent the place to them?

So you just don’t want to share your property with friends who are close enough to vacation with, even though it’s sitting empty on this weekend they asked to go.

That’s one kind of way to be in this world.

Right.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable for them to ask although I would try not to put you on the spot if I did this. Tell them it’s fine but they need to pay the cleaning fee.
We have a rental in Rehoboth. In the summer we charge full price. Off season we let friends use it for basically nothing except cleaning fee.

[Anonymous]

Never. They can visit, but we don't generally entertain overnight guests.

[Anonymous]

It”s your house so don’t let your friends stay if it makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t really matter if the request is odd or not. Other posters have pointed out that you let strangers stay there, but that is a commercial transaction. Again, your house, your rules. If your friends had offered to pay, that would be a different story, but they didn’t and it’s awkward for you to bring it up. I would just say that you prefer to be there with them and leave it at that. You don’t owe them an explanation. You’ve already been more than generous inviting them in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It”s your house so don’t let your friends stay if it makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t really matter if the request is odd or not. Other posters have pointed out that you let strangers stay there, but that is a commercial transaction. Again, your house, your rules. If your friends had offered to pay, that would be a different story, but they didn’t and it’s awkward for you to bring it up. I would just say that you prefer to be there with them and leave it at that. You don’t owe them an explanation. You’ve already been more than generous inviting them in the past.

This is actually a great answer. If they are being overly pushy, that is on them, OP.

I also agree that during high season, no one stays for free, but off season, just charge cleaning fee. It would not make sense to pay for people's cleaning because you rent it to make money, not as a charity. If they aren't the type who are just takers, you will know in their answer.

We have had people in the past who expected to stay, and we nipped that in the bud, because we knew the relationship was more one way than not.

[Anonymous]

It is totally unreasonable for them to ask. If I regularly give a person a ride in my car then I have plans to go out of town for a couple of weeks , it isn’t reasonable the person asks to borrow my car. They can go get a rental car.

Your house is an asset and you can rent it for probably $1000 for a spring weekend. Friends wouldn’t ask for a $1000 so why do they think it is ok to use something worth $1000.

It is a slippery slope. Once you say yes these friends will continue to pester you. Just say it is being rented off the books 📚 n case they can see the online schedule of when it is rented through a booking agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is totally unreasonable for them to ask. If I regularly give a person a ride in my car then I have plans to go out of town for a couple of weeks , it isn’t reasonable the person asks to borrow my car. They can go get a rental car.

Your house is an asset and you can rent it for probably $1000 for a spring weekend. Friends wouldn’t ask for a $1000 so why do they think it is ok to use something worth $1000.

It is a slippery slope. Once you say yes these friends will continue to pester you. Just say it is being rented off the books 📚 n case they can see the online schedule of when it is rented through a booking agency.

this is really good advice, thank you.
I think some ppl just assume being someone has a second home, they can afford that 1000 hit. These ppl know us well enough to know we cannot. Although we enjoy it, often with them, it is a business, and someone must pay the utilities, cable, internet, etc.
I suppose that's why it feels funny to us.
It could also be booked at the last minute, and has before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

We were all planning on going two weeks ago and none of us could go because there was a raging blizzard going on.

Now, they wanna go this weekend and we are out of town/state.

The problem with agreeing to let them have it for the weekend is that it sets a precedent for the future and they may think that it’s OK to ask whenever they want to go. Assuming you don’t want this, you could say to them “we feel terrible our weekend together got canceled so you’re welcome to have it for this weekend but but lending the house to friends is not something we normally do.”

[Anonymous]

They should offer to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you calling in a second Home? It’s a rental property. It’s an investment. It’s not a second home.

Sounds more pretentious this way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

We were all planning on going two weeks ago and none of us could go because there was a raging blizzard going on.

Now, they wanna go this weekend and we are out of town/state.

DP here. I think that is presumptuous of them. I wouldn't let anyone use it who expects to use it. I would let my lifelong friends from home use it, but they are basically family, and have not asked (I have offered).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you had planned to go with them and then backed out, but they still want to go- I’d let them. You already invited them there for the weekend, the gracious thing would be to tell them they should definitely go without you when you call them to say you can’t make it anymore

We were all planning on going two weeks ago and none of us could go because there was a raging blizzard going on.

Now, they wanna go this weekend and we are out of town/state.

The problem with agreeing to let them have it for the weekend is that it sets a precedent for the future and they may think that it’s OK to ask whenever they want to go. Assuming you don’t want this, you could say to them “we feel terrible our weekend together got canceled so you’re welcome to have it for this weekend but but lending the house to friends is not something we normally do.”

No!

They’re uncomfortable NOW and they should say no this time. No need to push boundaries. The weekend trip didn’t work out because of weather, you can say this weekend doesn’t work for you and move on.

[Anonymous]

We've had thus request from a family member with martial issues. Later they asked and offered to pay to rent then backed out last minute. Never again.

If we are there, people stay for free. If we aren't, no, you're paying to stay.

I would phrase it, hey we're not there this weekend. If you'd like to rent it to stay that's fine, happy to give you a friend's & family rate of $X

[Anonymous]

We let our friends and family use our beach home. We don't let friends of friends or acquaintances and we don't rent it out. We never asked for payment or for them to pay cleaning fees, but early on people offered to pay for the cleaners and now everyone does.