Men who steal women’s fertility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Jennifer Anniston story reminds me of this. So many times a man wastes a woman’s time only to divorce or leave her in her 30s and childless. While the man goes on to marry and have children the woman is left robbed of her fertile and out of time to have kids of her own.

This is criminal!

Don't waste time with losers. Don't marry losers. Don't wait around for people who aren't moving the relationship forward. Get pre-marital counseling so you are both on the same page about finances, monogamy, kids, childrearing. Don't ignore red flags. If you want children, start looking for good guys in your twenties, not your thirties.

I’m a lapsed Catholic, but one they do right is the required Pre-Cana for couples looking to marry in the church.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I admit to stealing women’s fertility. I’m like the hamburglar but with uteruses, and now, I see that I have been found out. I’m off to find another devious way to harm women. My next scam is to put plastic dishes on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher - they’ll be warped just like the patriarchy! ***laughs in evil***

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Jennifer Anniston story reminds me of this. So many times a man wastes a woman’s time only to divorce or leave her in her 30s and childless. While the man goes on to marry and have children the woman is left robbed of her fertile and out of time to have kids of her own.

This is criminal!

Don't waste time with losers. Don't marry losers. Don't wait around for people who aren't moving the relationship forward. Get pre-marital counseling so you are both on the same page about finances, monogamy, kids, childrearing. Don't ignore red flags. If you want children, start looking for good guys in your twenties, not your thirties.

I’m a lapsed Catholic, but one they do right is the required Pre-Cana for couples looking to marry in the church.

I did a whole year of weekly and monthly precana. Just complete lies by my husband and in my small circle of other Catholics I found others did the same. If the priests can lie about their activities and sexuality so can the men getting married.

[Anonymous]

I ended up marrying and having children with someone who in the beginning of our relationship said wanted children but in every other action and behavior following that, was actively trying to avoid it. I was ready to leave after 5 yrs and no commitment in sight and that is when he changed his tune and agreed to marriage. And then another delay with starting a family, he refused while I was pushing but when I finally was ready to give up on the idea of a family, he changed his tune again. There were plenty of red flags I could have heeded but I did not.

I love my children but they have the same negative traits as my husband and it makes it so challenging and at times depressing. I didn’t think about how those negative traits would show up in my children. Also, my husband is a decent husband and father, but in general, he is for sure the secondary parent and is often completely checked out with our family. He doesn’t remember things like his children’s birthdays and what school they attend. So that is the result of my less than stellar decision making to starting a family with someone who never wanted a family to begin with and only pretended to so that I would stay.

Life lesson. I am making the best of it any way I can but I often wonder how things might be different if I had listened to what my gut was telling me the first day I met him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up marrying and having children with someone who in the beginning of our relationship said wanted children but in every other action and behavior following that, was actively trying to avoid it. I was ready to leave after 5 yrs and no commitment in sight and that is when he changed his tune and agreed to marriage. And then another delay with starting a family, he refused while I was pushing but when I finally was ready to give up on the idea of a family, he changed his tune again. There were plenty of red flags I could have heeded but I did not.

I love my children but they have the same negative traits as my husband and it makes it so challenging and at times depressing. I didn’t think about how those negative traits would show up in my children. Also, my husband is a decent husband and father, but in general, he is for sure the secondary parent and is often completely checked out with our family. He doesn’t remember things like his children’s birthdays and what school they attend. So that is the result of my less than stellar decision making to starting a family with someone who never wanted a family to begin with and only pretended to so that I would stay.

Life lesson. I am making the best of it any way I can but I often wonder how things might be different if I had listened to what my gut was telling me the first day I met him.

Back to add- I was 29 when I met him. My advice to women of this age who eventually want children is to have a very clear timeline about how long to date someone before they show clear signs of marriage material and commitment. I would say 15 months tops, and I’d be clear about that with your partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Jennifer Anniston story reminds me of this. So many times a man wastes a woman’s time only to divorce or leave her in her 30s and childless. While the man goes on to marry and have children the woman is left robbed of her fertile and out of time to have kids of her own.

This is criminal!

Don't waste time with losers. Don't marry losers. Don't wait around for people who aren't moving the relationship forward. Get pre-marital counseling so you are both on the same page about finances, monogamy, kids, childrearing. Don't ignore red flags. If you want children, start looking for good guys in your twenties, not your thirties.

I’m a lapsed Catholic, but one they do right is the required Pre-Cana for couples looking to marry in the church.

I did a whole year of weekly and monthly precana. Just complete lies by my husband and in my small circle of other Catholics I found others did the same. If the priests can lie about their activities and sexuality so can the men getting married.

My XW probably didn’t lie when we took the premarital counseling. She meant what she said at the time, when we were both all lovey-dovey. Then years down the road she changed her mind about everything she previously said, and decided to ignore that along with her marital vows. And of course she started gaslighting me about what we’d said, as part of her mental total rewrite of our history together. In short that counseling guarantees you nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been watching The Vow on HBO and following along with other podcasts surrounding the NXIVM trial. The leader Keith Raniere told dozens of women that he would have a baby with them, and then he would renege and tell them they'd blown their chance because of an "ethical breach" like vaguely flirting with another man. And now these women are too old to have babies. These women were brainwashed and abused and I think it's safe to say he stole their fertility.

If these women were so out there to be hanging around Keith Raniere maybe it’s a good thing they never had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Jennifer Anniston story reminds me of this. So many times a man wastes a woman’s time only to divorce or leave her in her 30s and childless. While the man goes on to marry and have children the woman is left robbed of her fertile and out of time to have kids of her own.

This is criminal!

Don't waste time with losers. Don't marry losers. Don't wait around for people who aren't moving the relationship forward. Get pre-marital counseling so you are both on the same page about finances, monogamy, kids, childrearing. Don't ignore red flags. If you want children, start looking for good guys in your twenties, not your thirties.

I’m a lapsed Catholic, but one they do right is the required Pre-Cana for couples looking to marry in the church.

I did a whole year of weekly and monthly precana. Just complete lies by my husband and in my small circle of other Catholics I found others did the same. If the priests can lie about their activities and sexuality so can the men getting married.

Anyone can lie and be deceitful. Of course it can’t prevent that. But most people aren’t fully evil like that. It helps two people who genuinely want a good marriage talk through their thoughts and hopes for the future. Too many people get married with different life goals without even realizing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Jennifer Anniston story reminds me of this. So many times a man wastes a woman’s time only to divorce or leave her in her 30s and childless. While the man goes on to marry and have children the woman is left robbed of her fertile and out of time to have kids of her own.

This is criminal!

Don't waste time with losers. Don't marry losers. Don't wait around for people who aren't moving the relationship forward. Get pre-marital counseling so you are both on the same page about finances, monogamy, kids, childrearing. Don't ignore red flags. If you want children, start looking for good guys in your twenties, not your thirties.

I’m a lapsed Catholic, but one they do right is the required Pre-Cana for couples looking to marry in the church.

I did a whole year of weekly and monthly precana. Just complete lies by my husband and in my small circle of other Catholics I found others did the same. If the priests can lie about their activities and sexuality so can the men getting married.

Anyone can lie and be deceitful. Of course it can’t prevent that. But most people aren’t fully evil like that. It helps two people who genuinely want a good marriage talk through their thoughts and hopes for the future. Too many people get married with different life goals without even realizing it.

For me since there were no major red flags I neglected my intuition which was telling me he wasn’t as physically into me and into the things he put down as he said he was. It was like he was spoon fed the material to say and do.

[Anonymous]

Wasn’t it obvious you’d never get pregnant when I would only cum in your mouth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ended up marrying and having children with someone who in the beginning of our relationship said wanted children but in every other action and behavior following that, was actively trying to avoid it. I was ready to leave after 5 yrs and no commitment in sight and that is when he changed his tune and agreed to marriage. And then another delay with starting a family, he refused while I was pushing but when I finally was ready to give up on the idea of a family, he changed his tune again. There were plenty of red flags I could have heeded but I did not.

I love my children but they have the same negative traits as my husband and it makes it so challenging and at times depressing. I didn’t think about how those negative traits would show up in my children. Also, my husband is a decent husband and father, but in general, he is for sure the secondary parent and is often completely checked out with our family. He doesn’t remember things like his children’s birthdays and what school they attend. So that is the result of my less than stellar decision making to starting a family with someone who never wanted a family to begin with and only pretended to so that I would stay.

Life lesson. I am making the best of it any way I can but I often wonder how things might be different if I had listened to what my gut was telling me the first day I met him.

Anonymous wrote: For me since there were no major red flags I neglected my intuition which was telling me he wasn’t as physically into me and into the things he put down as he said he was. It was like he was spoon fed the material to say and do.

A woman’s intuition is very powerful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up marrying and having children with someone who in the beginning of our relationship said wanted children but in every other action and behavior following that, was actively trying to avoid it. I was ready to leave after 5 yrs and no commitment in sight and that is when he changed his tune and agreed to marriage. And then another delay with starting a family, he refused while I was pushing but when I finally was ready to give up on the idea of a family, he changed his tune again. There were plenty of red flags I could have heeded but I did not.

I love my children but they have the same negative traits as my husband and it makes it so challenging and at times depressing. I didn’t think about how those negative traits would show up in my children. Also, my husband is a decent husband and father, but in general, he is for sure the secondary parent and is often completely checked out with our family. He doesn’t remember things like his children’s birthdays and what school they attend. So that is the result of my less than stellar decision making to starting a family with someone who never wanted a family to begin with and only pretended to so that I would stay.

Life lesson. I am making the best of it any way I can but I often wonder how things might be different if I had listened to what my gut was telling me the first day I met him.

Back to add- I was 29 when I met him. My advice to women of this age who eventually want children is to have a very clear timeline about how long to date someone before they show clear signs of marriage material and commitment. I would say 15 months tops, and I’d be clear about that with your partner.

I am glad you are sharing advice. I often wonder about women who find themselves in these types of situations. My mother and older female relatives gave me dating advice. For example I was told that a man knows when he wants to marry you fairly early and not to wait longer than two years for a proposal. Did you not have anyone around to give you advice?

[Anonymous]

JFC. So sick of women blaming men for everything! My DS was dating an amazing woman and he clearly wasn't on the same time tract as she was when it came to family. She called him out on it, drew the line in the sand and his response caused her to end the relationship and move on. She CHOSE not to waste her time when she knew what her goals were, she left and started another relationship, pregnant with her first child. Guy is amazing to her, she was smart. Love my DS and when put to the question by her, he was honest. Op, you and other women have the power over this, stop blaming everyone else, it is your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Me too. I always knew I wanted kids. My husband said he wanted kids. He knew I would never have married a man who didn't want kids. Many years later, he revealed that his plan from the start was to convince me to change my mind.

Wow. That's really, really cruel. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ended up marrying and having children with someone who in the beginning of our relationship said wanted children but in every other action and behavior following that, was actively trying to avoid it. I was ready to leave after 5 yrs and no commitment in sight and that is when he changed his tune and agreed to marriage. And then another delay with starting a family, he refused while I was pushing but when I finally was ready to give up on the idea of a family, he changed his tune again. There were plenty of red flags I could have heeded but I did not.

I love my children but they have the same negative traits as my husband and it makes it so challenging and at times depressing. I didn’t think about how those negative traits would show up in my children. Also, my husband is a decent husband and father, but in general, he is for sure the secondary parent and is often completely checked out with our family. He doesn’t remember things like his children’s birthdays and what school they attend. So that is the result of my less than stellar decision making to starting a family with someone who never wanted a family to begin with and only pretended to so that I would stay.

Life lesson. I am making the best of it any way I can but I often wonder how things might be different if I had listened to what my gut was telling me the first day I met him.

Back to add- I was 29 when I met him. My advice to women of this age who eventually want children is to have a very clear timeline about how long to date someone before they show clear signs of marriage material and commitment. I would say 15 months tops, and I’d be clear about that with your partner.

I am glad you are sharing advice. I often wonder about women who find themselves in these types of situations. My mother and older female relatives gave me dating advice. For example I was told that a man knows when he wants to marry you fairly early and not to wait longer than two years for a proposal. Did you not have anyone around to give you advice?

Ha! No. My mom married a man who was self centered, controlling, and verbally and physically abusive. My one aunt never married but when I confided to her once about his abuse, she told me how lucky I was to have someone like my father. My other aunt married someone who was also physically and verbally abusive and probably alcoholic. And my other aunt married someone who was deceitful and had a gambling addiction. In comparison, I married really well.