WWYD re: neighbors' basketball hoop?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all your responses.

Despite the street having a fair amt of kids, no one backs into their driveway so that's not something that ever crossed my mind, honestly. And it sounds like a good idea to start the practice of yelling "car" when someone drives by and kids are in the street. Until the hoop's owners moved in, the smart aleck kid was the oldes ton the block at 5 or 6, so I think the cul-de-sac never had the institutional knowledge of yelling "car" to pass along; really, these kids are just now old enough to be out and about sans parents.

I just want to be clear that I don't have a problem with kids playing in the cul-de-sac; I expect one day my kids will too. I'm just concerned, particularly about the so-called smart aleck, b/c this whole basketball thing is new and has brought on a new situation for all the residents to deal with. And most of the kids are good about staying out of the way- it's just the one neighbor who is becoming more of an issue. And he's the one who uses the hoop the most.

I looked again and there really is no room for the owner to move the hoop to the other side. He could, but it would then be blocked by his neighbor's cars when they're parked on the street. So, maybe what we'll do is talk to the owner about teaching safety tips to all the kids who use the hoop - about getting out of the way, stopping shooting balls, etc. And if the 5 year old persists, definitely talk to his mom, as well as shouting to whichever kids are out there to watch the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you do is that when you are backing out, you tell all of the kids to get on the grass until you are gone. Then you wave good bye. The kids will comply. You will know where everyone is so there is no risk of anyone geting hit. Everyone is safe and there is no stress.

The reason I like this idea is that it leaves less room for the smart-alec kid (or any others, depending on their mood that day) to push the boundaries. On the grass is on the grass. Or if there is some other landmark that you could use to the same end. I'd run this idea past the other parents when you talk to them, so that they would reinforce it with their kids, and it could become a habit.

[Anonymous]

I think you have two issues. One is easily solved. You personally must remain as vigilant as you have been, never back out of your driveway quickly, and you need to tell the kids as you are backing out - OK, coming out, get on the grass (or whatever you decide to say). Any children not doing this will have their parents contacted. If you DO talk to the neighbors about this, be careful how you do this. There's a big difference between saying "hey, help me solve this. I get really nervous with all of the kids running around on the street when I back out - some don't get out of the way and I'm frightened one of them will get hurt. I tried X. Can you help me with other ideas or can we talk about moving the basketball hoop? Hope it doesnt come to that - the kids do seem to really enjoy it!" and saying "hey, can you please move your hoop, because children are going to get hurt."

But remember that it's okay to lay down rules. We used to ride bikes (and big wheels - low to the ground, even worse) on our little dead end street. There wasn't MUCH traffic but there definitely was some, and we'd routinely drive our big wheels up the tallest driveways we could find and ride down them. (Imagine how dangerous that is, but then again this was the 70's...) There were definitely a few driveways we were not allowed to play in or even in front of. The neighbors just said "you can't play in front of my driveway" and then yelled at us every time we strayed into that zone (they were okay with us riding past it, obviously, just not right in front of it). They'd yell at our parents, too, if we didn't listen. They weren't mean people at all, they just didn't want to hit anyone or put up with kids making them nervous.

Everyone thought they were cranks, but we didn't play in or in front of their driveway anymore. Sometimes you just have to make a rule and enforce it and let the chips fall where they may.

PS. Your second problem is an unsupervised 5 year old. I'm all for not helicoptering, but really? I think 5 is way too way too way too young to be playing in a street, however quiet, unsupervised. Sounds like a tragedy in the making - and this is coming from the queen of almost getting hit on her big wheel...

[Anonymous]

PS. Your second problem is an unsupervised 5 year old. I'm all for not helicoptering, but really? I think 5 is way too way too way too young to be playing in a street, however quiet, unsupervised. Sounds like a tragedy in the making - and this is coming from the queen of almost getting hit on her big wheel...

A 5yo isn't "way too way too way too" young to be playing outside in a quiet cul-de-sac with a dozen other kids. Alone on a busy street, of course is not ok, but this sounds different. I see kids that age outside in my neighborhood without their parents all the time. Anyway, even if OP thinks it is too young, how is she going to make the kid's parents come out & supervise?

OP, I would just go with the "everybody on the grass where I can see you" rule, and tell the other parents nicely that you are doing it, ie, "I've been asking the kids to wait on the grass while I back out; there are so many of them and I'm worried I can't see them unless they all wait in the same spot while I back out.". I do that with my own kids when backing out of my own driveway - they have to go stand on the grass near the front steps so I can see them while I back out. NO parent is going to give you a hard time for taking extra precautions to make sure you don't hit their kid!

[Anonymous]

I agree that I don't think 5 is way too young to be outside unsupervised in a quiet cul-de-sac with other kids playing especially if there are varying ages. We live in a cul-de-sac and there are kids of various ages always playing outside and often times the older kids are looking after the younger kids which is likely the case in the situation. It just sounds like the smart a@# kid needs to be put in his place by the older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that I don't think 5 is way too young to be outside unsupervised in a quiet cul-de-sac with other kids playing especially if there are varying ages. We live in a cul-de-sac and there are kids of various ages always playing outside and often times the older kids are looking after the younger kids which is likely the case in the situation. It just sounds like the smart a@# kid needs to be put in his place by the older kids.

Okay, really? Maybe it works sometimes, then, but um, doesn't sound like this is working this time. The kid is not really being looked after is he? And the kid is not being put in his place by the older kids, either. Yikes. Remind me not to do drop off playdates at your house!

[Anonymous]

I would go out there one day and call the kids together.

Say "hey, the basketball hoop is a lot of fun. But it is hard getting the car in and out, and I'm afraid that someone is going to get hurt. From now on, I'd like you to all get on the sidewalk when I am pulling in and out. We need you to do this so that you can keep playing out here".

[Anonymous]

I'm not 100% clear on how the hoop is set up... Is it installed at the curb so the kids are playing basketball in the street? That is weird.

[Anonymous]

I'm not 100% clear on how the hoop is set up... Is it installed at the curb so the kids are playing basketball in the street? That is weird.

It's weird?? Have you really never seen a basketball hoop in a cul-de-sac before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I agree that I don't think 5 is way too young to be outside unsupervised in a quiet cul-de-sac with other kids playing especially if there are varying ages. We live in a cul-de-sac and there are kids of various ages always playing outside and often times the older kids are looking after the younger kids which is likely the case in the situation. It just sounds like the smart a@# kid needs to be put in his place by the older kids.


Okay, really? Maybe it works sometimes, then, but um, doesn't sound like this is working this time. The kid is not really being looked after is he? And the kid is not being put in his place by the older kids, either. Yikes. Remind me not to do drop off playdates at your house!

I guess you only do playdates where there's a landing pad for your helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Wow, to think some parent is leaving their five year old in the street to a bunch of kids. Really? Really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not 100% clear on how the hoop is set up... Is it installed at the curb so the kids are playing basketball in the street? That is weird.

It's weird?? Have you really never seen a basketball hoop in a cul-de-sac before?

Nope, I guess I haven't. I've seen them in the middle of long driveways and above garage doors but never at the curb. It would never occur to me to facilitate kids playing in the street. I've always tried to get kids to play OFF the street. Oh well. No cul-de-sacs in my neighborhood so it's not my problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask the neighbor to move the hoop. I'd also find the parent of the smart ass kid and tell them to keep him away from your house.

Be sure to stand on your porch in a house dress and wave a rolling pin at them while you scream "get off my lawn!"

[Anonymous]

Backing in is a good idea. Also, when the car is moving tell all of them to SIT DOWN on the other drive way. If they are sitting they cannot get under your car.

Talk to the parents of the "you almost hit me kid". That kid is gunning for trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm not 100% clear on how the hoop is set up... Is it installed at the curb so the kids are playing basketball in the street? That is weird.

It's weird?? Have you really never seen a basketball hoop in a cul-de-sac before?

OP here. Yep, the hoop is on the curb so the kids are playing ball in the street. No one here really has a driveway big enough to put a hoop in, though the owners could probably do so above their garage.