WWYD re: neighbors' basketball hoop?

[Anonymous]

We live in a cul-de-sac and our new neighbor has put a basketball hoop in btwn our house and his. This has attracted all the street's kids to shoot hoops at various times of the day/early evening. They are all youngish- ranging from probably 5 to 10 so they're not the most aware of things like perhaps a teen would be. The problem is when they congregate and we have to back out of our driveway on the way to somewhere. We're constantly looking out for kids and being very vigilant in trying to make sure we know where they all are before we back out. There's one particular kid (not the hoop's owner) who seems to be pretty careless. I think he's around 5 or 6 and seems to deliberately stray into our car's path. Tonight, I hopped out of the car and went and stood at the bottom of driveway while DH backed out to make sure he didn't dart behind our car. He was nowhere near the car but dove onto the sidewalk in a very dramatic fashion and said twice, "You nearly hit me." I told him no, we were watching the whole time. Then he deliberately kicked the basketball under our car.

This behavior is starting to become a problem. His mother isn't out watching him so there's not a lot of supervision. Should we go to her and ask her to remind him to stay clear of our backing car (again, we take great pains to watch out for all kids)? Or do we ask our neighbor with the hoop to place it on the other side, in btwn him and another neighbor? This other neighbor has a child who plays ball too, so both houses would have users (we don't as our kids are too young). That way, at least the great share of the responsibility of watching for children falls on those who actually use the hoop?

Or do we do both- go to the one particular child's parent AND ask our neighbor to move his hoop? We don't want to cause ill will but we don't always have both of us there to hop out of the car and watch for this child...

[Anonymous]

I would do both. If some 5 year old kid was hanging out outside my house, unsupervised, and then diving in front of my car (!!!), you bet I would be marching that child over to his mother and having a conversation with her.

[Anonymous]

I agree!

[Anonymous]

Just hit the kid once. He'll learn.

[Anonymous]

What you do is that when you are backing out, you tell all of the kids to get on the grass until you are gone. Then you wave good bye. The kids will comply. You will know where everyone is so there is no risk of anyone geting hit. Everyone is safe and there is no stress.

[Anonymous]

I'm with 20 57 on this one.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the neighbor to move the hoop. I'd also find the parent of the smart ass kid and tell them to keep him away from your house.

[Anonymous]

I may or may not ask the neighbor to move the hoop. I would DEFINITELY speak to the parents of the kid jumping in front if the car. This extends beyond him being near your driveway. The parents need to teach him some safety skills and/or watch him constantly.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a really tough issue particularly from someone who also lives in a cul-de-sac with A LOT of kids. I have younger kids 3 and 5 week old baby so I do understand your frustration especially since I am not at a point of understanding or gaining benefit from my child playing in the cul-de-sac for hours with other kids but I'm sure one day you and I will appreciate it.

Here is my perspective on this issue
1. You have to recognize that cul-de-sacs draw to parents/families of young children, especially in this area where yards are small and basically non-existent on many lots and it gives a semi-false sense of safety to parents. 2. Here is what is done in our cul-de-sac and ALL the kids follow suit, anytime a car is coming up the street or anyone is backing out of their driveway the kids yell "CAR" and they scram like ants. Maybe you can introduce this concept to the kids and make a game of it and see who can yell the loudest and run out of the way the fastest. 3. There are 3 basketball hoops in our circle for kids of various ages and sizes (count your blessings) and I would not even think of asking the neighbors to move it -they would likely laugh in my face. 4. I'm sure if the parents are attentive and they would want to know what their son did and you could find a nice way to mention that you almost hit him, etc. especially if all the other children move out of the way. I think if it becomes a reoccurrence with one child in particularly then you should take a more stern approach. good luck!

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I would tell the jumping-in-front-of-the-car kid that if he jumps in front of the car ONE more time, then you will talk to his parents. Then if he does it once more, then talkto the parents.

If you aren't going to have kids, I would ask the neighbor to move the hoop. But I should tell you, it might cause ill will between you and the neighbor, the other neighbor, the kids, and the kids parents if it's moved. They will all be talking about it at least once after it happens.

[Anonymous]

Start backing into the driveway so you don't have to back out - just don't hit any kids!

[Anonymous]

NP here. PP, though I agree that they will talk about it; I have to say, OP I am OVER it, and I don't even live there. At least one kid in particular has quite an imagination. Frankly, if you are one to worry about what people think, you won't really go forward with much. Just ask them nicely to move it, if they don't then make it difficult for them. The ball is in their court, so to speak. If you gave them the option to be nice and they were not, it's on them.

[Anonymous]

I would talk with the next door neighbor about the safety situation and come up with a solution. If they have older kids then the big kids are going to be the role models. They are going to make sure everyone steers clear when some one is coming down the block or getting out of a driveway.

Also - I would talk with the parents of the smart a$$ and make them aware.

If you get ANY push back - boys will be boys etc. I would be more that happy to provide you with the contact information for a family who is still grieving from when their child was backed over.

[Anonymous]

10:56 has the simplest sution. Just back into your drive so you can pull out front. I do that now for safety and I don't live on a cul de sac and don't have a hoop issue. If you live on a street with a lot of kids, this should be pretty standard.

[Anonymous]

Well, if the kids are playing there when she backs in, she still has the problem of backing through a gang of kids. What difference does it make if she's backing up the driveway or down the driveway?

OP, I would say to the kids before I got in my car "Hey, we are backing out now, please stand out of the way for a moment." If they don't, I'd get out of my car and go over to the neighbor's house and knock on the door and tell them the kids are refusing to get out of your way when you ask them to when you are backing out and it is a safety issue. Tell her that you are going to send her a letter stating this via certified mail in the event someone is hurt there will be a record for your home owner's insurance that she was notified of this problem.

I'll bet they'll get out of your way next time.