WWYD re: neighbors' basketball hoop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree that I don't think 5 is way too young to be outside unsupervised in a quiet cul-de-sac with other kids playing especially if there are varying ages. We live in a cul-de-sac and there are kids of various ages always playing outside and often times the older kids are looking after the younger kids which is likely the case in the situation. It just sounds like the smart a@# kid needs to be put in his place by the older kids.


Okay, really? Maybe it works sometimes, then, but um, doesn't sound like this is working this time. The kid is not really being looked after is he? And the kid is not being put in his place by the older kids, either. Yikes. Remind me not to do drop off playdates at your house!

I guess you only do playdates where there's a landing pad for your helicopter.

Okay, wow. Poll time here: how many of you think a five year old should not be playing in a street, "supervised" only by other, slightly older children? And think it is still okay even after hearing someone report that the child is intentionally running in front of cars? Uh... I think someone's taking the free range kids thing a little bit too far here. It's not helicoptering to make sure your child is not in danger of being run over by a car. PP, your parenting skills need a brush-up.

[Anonymous]

OP if I were the parent of the smart aleck I would definitely appreciate knowing that he was playing around like that. And then he would probably would have my helicopter ass hovering around him until he's older. so I think you should touch base with his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I agree that I don't think 5 is way too young to be outside unsupervised in a quiet cul-de-sac with other kids playing especially if there are varying ages. We live in a cul-de-sac and there are kids of various ages always playing outside and often times the older kids are looking after the younger kids which is likely the case in the situation. It just sounds like the smart a@# kid needs to be put in his place by the older kids.


Okay, really? Maybe it works sometimes, then, but um, doesn't sound like this is working this time. The kid is not really being looked after is he? And the kid is not being put in his place by the older kids, either. Yikes. Remind me not to do drop off playdates at your house!

I guess you only do playdates where there's a landing pad for your helicopter.

Okay, wow. Poll time here: how many of you think a five year old should not be playing in a street, "supervised" only by other, slightly older children? And think it is still okay even after hearing someone report that the child is intentionally running in front of cars? Uh... I think someone's taking the free range kids thing a little bit too far here. It's not helicoptering to make sure your child is not in danger of being run over by a car. PP, your parenting skills need a brush-up.

It's fine if you don't want your 5 year old playing in the cul-de-sac but we let ours do so. If you don't like it, don't allow it. I have no beef with you.

[Anonymous]

The cul-de-sac as play area is pretty much a feature of outer suburbia, uniform developments, right? So it probably seems weird to people in older neighborhood where streets are for driving (because all the streets go someplace). Even playing in a cul-de-sac gives me the heebie-jeebies, but that's probably because I am one to come up with a worst-case scenario and because my kids tend to go into their own little world when they're playing. They wouldn't yell "Car" because they wouldn't notice the car until it had at least grazed them.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but I have a question about the parent okay with the 5 year old in the cds - do you expect everyone else to watch your children? What if all the older kids go in and your kid does not, and the five year goes missing? Would you care if it were your kid? Or is it more important to label other people?

The reason I ask is because it seems like you expect other people to watch your kid FOR you, which I happen to take offense to. He is five. I hope nothing happens to him. Maybe other people want to enjoy their yard without watching your kid.

[Anonymous]

omg if we have to chaperone five year olds on their own block, then we should just give up. Sorry, this is just ridiculous.

A kindergartener who needs to be watched while he plays a few houses down the street has been kept under his parents' thumb for far too long. At that age they should be running from yard to yard playing games, riding around, kicking a ball around. They should know where they are allowed to go and stay within those boundaries. And they should damn well know how not to get hit by a car.

The five year old boy needs his parents to tell him to behave or he will be stuck indoors for a week. He can watch everyone else play from the window.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but I have a question about the parent okay with the 5 year old in the cds - do you expect everyone else to watch your children? What if all the older kids go in and your kid does not, and the five year goes missing? Would you care if it were your kid? Or is it more important to label other people?

The reason I ask is because it seems like you expect other people to watch your kid FOR you, which I happen to take offense to. He is five. I hope nothing happens to him. Maybe other people want to enjoy their yard without watching your kid.

I don't suppose you really wanted anyone to answer these questions, right? "Would you care if it was your kid?". No, of course not. No biggie. "or is it more important to label other people?". Yes, that's the priority here. And why would the 5-yr old "go missing?" Are you talking about a random stranger abduction?

Nobody said other parents have to watch this kid or that other adults can't enjoy their yards.. It's a group of kids playing outside together and -gasp!- there's not an adult directing their every move and jumping in to mediate every little dispute. Every once in a while they have to get out of the way for a car in the cul-de-sac and the 5yo is having an issue doing that, and that issue needs to be addressed.

The point is that people buy homes on cul-de-sacs so the kids can play outside with other kids in a quiet, safe, low-traffic area without a parent standing there watching. Many 5-yr olds can play just fine with a group of kids in this environment. If there's a kid in OP's cds who can't, that doesn't mean that anyone who lets their 5yo play outside in a cds is a crazy irresponsible parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cul-de-sac as play area is pretty much a feature of outer suburbia, uniform developments, right? So it probably seems weird to people in older neighborhood where streets are for driving (because all the streets go someplace). Even playing in a cul-de-sac gives me the heebie-jeebies, but that's probably because I am one to come up with a worst-case scenario and because my kids tend to go into their own little world when they're playing. They wouldn't yell "Car" because they wouldn't notice the car until it had at least grazed them.

This is what I was thinking. I know of VERY few cul-de-sacs in the close-in suburbs, only one in Chevy Chase Village and it is more like a dead end with two houses off of Brookville by BS. Older neighborhoods are typically built in the same square formation (ish). I still think it is bizarre that someone would set up a basketball net on the curb, how ugly.

[Anonymous]

Drive through some of the more affluent areas of Arlington, VA -they are filled with "ugly basketball hoops". You sound lovely!!

This is what I was thinking. I know of VERY few cul-de-sacs in the close-in suburbs, only one in Chevy Chase Village and it is more like a dead end with two houses off of Brookville by BS. Older neighborhoods are typically built in the same square formation (ish). I still think it is bizarre that someone would set up a basketball net on the curb, how ugly.

[Anonymous]

We picked our neighborhood by the number of basketball hoops in it. That was the easiest way to see how many kids lived there. We lucked out and our neighborhood is crawling with kids, all close in age to ours. And yes, there are several on the cul-de-sacs. I'm in the suburbs, and it's great for all the kids to play together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start backing into the driveway so you don't have to back out - just don't hit any kids!

I do this in our neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Back into the driveway.

You could also tell the biggest kids to keep everyone in the grass when you leave. If you ask for Their help they will likely take it seriously. big kids like to be in charge.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I'm not trying to start anything, just wondering. The five year olds I have seen to be left on their own usually follow a bigger kids. So yes, I am wondering, what if the older kids scatter quickly and the five year old is left there by him/her self and doesn't know to go home, can't get into their house, whatever? I am asking because I have seen this. Do you expect others to watch your kid?

I have also seen where the five year old seeks attention from others (who s/he may or may not know) in this situation. I know you might think the five year old knows what to do, but since that is not always the case, I am left wondering. I do not have a five year old, so I am curious. It just seems to take "it takes a village" to unnecessary extremes.

[Anonymous]

Not sure where you live. In Maryland it is the law that any child under 8 must always be supervised by someone at least 13 years old. Next time the child does something potentially dangerous, ask who./where his grown up (or what ever term you use for responsible party) is. It is possible the parents don't understand their legal responsibilities.

I think it is a reasonable request to suggest the hoop be moved over next to the other neighbor but the owner could have a good reason for the current placement. For example, the current location might be where it can best be monitored from within the house. You might also want to ask the hoop owner which children they have made arrangements with the parents to be responsible for ( I suspect it is far fewer than the number of children involved) . It could be that they aren't keen on certain children being around either but are trying to be careful about alienating their children's playmates - in which case they might actually appreciate you speaking to the parents of problem child directly.

If your children are very young, you might also want to start laying the groundwork for limiting how late the basketball games go on. On summer nights when you want your windows open, ad hoc basketball games can be quite noisy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. I'm not trying to start anything, just wondering. The five year olds I have seen to be left on their own usually follow a bigger kids. So yes, I am wondering, what if the older kids scatter quickly and the five year old is left there by him/her self and doesn't know to go home, can't get into their house, whatever? I am asking because I have seen this. Do you expect others to watch your kid?

I have also seen where the five year old seeks attention from others (who s/he may or may not know) in this situation. I know you might think the five year old knows what to do, but since that is not always the case, I am left wondering. I do not have a five year old, so I am curious. It just seems to take "it takes a village" to unnecessary extremes .

You have to establish rules that everyone knows about - including the other parents - like yelling "Car" and getting off the street, not going to anyone else's house without telling the adult of the house you're leaving and under no circumstances going to the house of someone who hasn't agreed to the rules. When my DS was 5 and a neighbor boy the same age saw him playing in our yard, his mother came over and explained the neighborhood rules to me and asked if I would be comfortable with them. I am. We then explained them to DS. In the beginning, there was the occasional infraction (not telling the adult in the house he was leaving) and he would either get sent home by the adult in the next house he went to or, if it was me that discovered it, he had to stay home the rest of the day. Never has there been a time when DS was out there by himself. When everyone else has gone home, it's no fun so he comes home or is sent home by the parent of the last house he was at.

I don't expect anyone to make more than a casual effort to watch my kid and they don't expect me to anything more (I know some are gasping at the thought). The kids are entertaining themselves, they have to follow the rules of the house they're in and mind the parent in the house - or they get sent home. Sometimes another parent will feed my kid lunch and/or snack (and sometimes I'll do the same with theirs) and sometimes they'll send the kids home to each lunch. This isn't a play date or a babysitting service. We do keep an ear out for language, arguing or inappropriateness - and they also have to be kind to and include a SN younger brother of one of the kids but this is what neighborhood play is all about. I can't wait for my younger child to be old enough to join.