Tiger parent's mean comment about my daughter

[Anonymous]

In the immortal words of Elsa, let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid’s always on her phone I wouldn’t want my kids to end up like that either. I think they have a fair point.

Agree. Teens glued to their phones do indeed appear dumb. Maybe this will motivate her to be on her phone less in public.

I’d let it go. Plus calling your friend tiger mom/dad and her kids annoying doesn’t exactly paint you in a nice light

[Anonymous]

I don’t spend time with that kind of intense tiger person. Even if your dd were not a good student, an adult is trash talking your kid, and their child thinks repeating it is ok. Why expose your dd to them? It sounds like your ds does plenty so not sure why the snarky phone judgments. Maybe she goes on her phone to avoid talking to these horrid people she has to be around so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You let this go.

And if you must consider ruminating on it, consider-

1. Have you ever used anything about another child as a comparison or example to demonstrate something to your kid? Another child spends too much time on their phone? Another child is behaving like a poor sport? Another child procrastinated on a project and it came back to bite them?

2. Really, have you ever said anything less than flattering about another child to your own? The clothes they wear? Their manners? The way they treated a friend?

3. Do you really think you are getting an accurate picture of what was actually said by this dad third hand from your own children, filtered through another child?

And then try again to let it go.

Agree with above. This is a pot-kettle situation.

My family tends to be a bit flip and what we say at home should not be shared outward by our kids.

The fault here is with the cutting commentary (bad parental role modeling) coupled with the lack of discretion by the 14 y.o. son. Yes, those both show bad judgment. But they aren't very unusual situations.

If you confront, it won't change the dad's opinion. As you know, demonstrated AP performance did. And confrontation could cause a rift between friends. I would drop the idea of a big confrontation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, at 2 in the morning? Nice troll attempt.

I wonder what's lamer.... Posting about something that is keeping you up at night and really bothering you, or just lurking so that you can jump on people the moment they post at 2:00 in the morning

[Anonymous]

N does not have the social skills to be admitted into an elite college. So take some comfort in that.

See how you feel in a week.

[Anonymous]

It’s amazing how this post got responses steadily all night long from 2 am until now. No other post on the board did!

[Anonymous]

Asian-bashing at 2am?

Retire the term Tiger Parent.

[Anonymous]

Who GAF. People are allowed to have opinions. You think their kids are annoying and he thinks your oldest isn’t that smart.

[Anonymous]

Sure, at 2am, that totally happened.

Are we now supposed to delicately inquire as to the race of this Tiger Parent family? Fustigate all highly-involved parents with ambitious kids because they're likely to judge our children?

Why don't you spend your Spring Break reflecting on who you are as a person, OP. Might serve you well in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:N does not have the social skills to be admitted into an elite college. So take some comfort in that.

See how you feel in a week.

Since when did elite colleges check for social skills? I went to an Ivy and would not at all say that social graces were a consideration for admissions based on some of my peers

[Anonymous]

The dad is a jerk. I wouldn't hang out with him or with the whole family anymore. Your sons are 14. By all means let them go to each other's houses but at that age you don't need to be all together. For your best friend, not sure. I would not be happy knowing her husband says those things about my daughter and she either agrees or doesn't dispute it, but maybe he does that with everyone and she's numb to it. I wouldnt confront, but just kinda be like, the kids are older and involved in so much, it's so hard to all get together, let's just do a girl's lunch with no husbands and kids.

Regarding the part where the husband realized your daughter takes so many AP classes, I take that to mean your son defended her, which is sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t spend time with that kind of intense tiger person. Even if your dd were not a good student, an adult is trash talking your kid, and their child thinks repeating it is ok. Why expose your dd to them? It sounds like your ds does plenty so not sure why the snarky phone judgments. Maybe she goes on her phone to avoid talking to these horrid people she has to be around so much.

OP is trash talking their entire family on an internet message board. She doesn’t have the moral high ground here.

I think she’s triggered because she KNOWS her daughter looks dumb always being on her phone.

[Anonymous]

First, approach this as: your daughter is the problem. She should have stood-up for your family, at the time. Tell her it would have been ok to say that it was a rude comment. That's if it even happened, or happened exactly as she said. You should not assume that you now have some insight as to how this other adult feels. They didn't say it to you. Also, they are entitled to think whatever so even if they actually do think that, as long as they don't say it, you have no basis to be mad --- at what you think they think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t spend time with that kind of intense tiger person. Even if your dd were not a good student, an adult is trash talking your kid, and their child thinks repeating it is ok. Why expose your dd to them? It sounds like your ds does plenty so not sure why the snarky phone judgments. Maybe she goes on her phone to avoid talking to these horrid people she has to be around so much.

OP is trash talking their entire family on an internet message board. She doesn’t have the moral high ground here.

I think she’s triggered because she KNOWS her daughter looks dumb always being on her phone.

Do you speak kindly about people who trash your kids? I bet not since you're speaking ill of op and her dd who did nothing to you. In any case whether her dd looks "dumb" or not is not a comment kind people make.