Truthfully, can you both have careers and have 3+ kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

[katebrownell86]

It's totally understandable to feel torn between expanding your family and maintaining your career – it's a big balancing act. While it might seem daunting, there are definitely families out there making it work with three kids and two busy careers. It often comes down to finding the right support system that works for you. Even without day-to-day family help, consider exploring options like hiring a nanny or seeking out other forms of support, like part-time childcare or assistance with household tasks. It might require some creative scheduling and prioritising, but with clear communication and teamwork with your husband, it's definitely doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ACB has 7 kids. I think you can manage 3.

https://www.southbendtribune.com/story/news/local/2020/09/23/5-things-you-need-to-know-about-amy-coney-barre/43911583/
Are you joking? Amy Coney Barrett said she had her husband's aunt watching the kids for years. Plus a husband who took on a lot more home care duties once she became a judge.

[Anonymous]

Sure you can manage 3, but you need that third adult to pitch in--trusted nanny/housekeeper, grandparent living nearby etc. Not sure how you manage two demanding careers without that. There's no shame to getting the help you need (and presumably can afford as a physician) when there are just so many hours in the day to get stuff done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

i mean, my kid's tennis coach has coached several ATP players and she won't accept anyone under the age of 5. water polo and field hockey for 3-4 yo sounds ridiculous. what's next, pole vault and F1 racing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

i mean, my kid's tennis coach has coached several ATP players and she won't accept anyone under the age of 5. water polo and field hockey for 3-4 yo sounds ridiculous. what's next, pole vault and F1 racing.

I don’t see where the pp says her kids are 5 and under.

My kids are teens now. There definitely are families who start their kids in sports before age 5 and take it seriously. My kids all started tennis, soccer and swimming in preschool. My son has a friend who started ice hockey at age 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

i mean, my kid's tennis coach has coached several ATP players and she won't accept anyone under the age of 5. water polo and field hockey for 3-4 yo sounds ridiculous. what's next, pole vault and F1 racing.

I don’t see where the pp says her kids are 5 and under.

My kids are teens now. There definitely are families who start their kids in sports before age 5 and take it seriously. My kids all started tennis, soccer and swimming in preschool. My son has a friend who started ice hockey at age 2.

The smug poster, in her own words:

" I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

i mean, my kid's tennis coach has coached several ATP players and she won't accept anyone under the age of 5. water polo and field hockey for 3-4 yo sounds ridiculous. what's next, pole vault and F1 racing.

I don’t see where the pp says her kids are 5 and under.

My kids are teens now. There definitely are families who start their kids in sports before age 5 and take it seriously. My kids all started tennis, soccer and swimming in preschool. My son has a friend who started ice hockey at age 2.

you can start whatever whenever, obviously, and you can take whatever you want seriously. a 2 year old can't, however, seriously train anything, much less ice hockey, tennis, water polo... that's just completely ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Have the kids and make sure you have the supports for childcare in place. Our neighbors have 6 kids and no nanny and the oldest ones are supposed to be watching the youngest ones, but in reality, the youngest two spend their afterschool hours at the houses of various neighbors and the neighbors' nannies because they're bored and need attention. Tough for the kids, and neglectful choices by the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

i mean, my kid's tennis coach has coached several ATP players and she won't accept anyone under the age of 5. water polo and field hockey for 3-4 yo sounds ridiculous. what's next, pole vault and F1 racing.

I don’t see where the pp says her kids are 5 and under.

My kids are teens now. There definitely are families who start their kids in sports before age 5 and take it seriously. My kids all started tennis, soccer and swimming in preschool. My son has a friend who started ice hockey at age 2.

you can start whatever whenever, obviously, and you can take whatever you want seriously. a 2 year old can't, however, seriously train anything, much less ice hockey, tennis, water polo... that's just completely ridiculous.

I thought they were joking when I met that family and said their 2.5 year old had ice hockey. They were not joking. The dad is huge, like 6’8” and was probably one level down from playing pro. The kid is now on some national team.

My kids are normal good athletes. We spent a lot of time driving our kids to sports. My son is a starter on three varsity sports. I don’t expect him to be a recruited athlete.

We know families whose kids are home schooled so they can focus more on their sports. I would not choose this for my children but it does happen.

I do think it is easier to be elite the younger you are. I mean if no one else is training and your parents are pushing you hard already at age 4, you will be better than your peers who are just starting.

[Anonymous]

I recommend that the husband get a high paying job and sahm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

PP. My kids are 14, 12, and 8. I am mostly working back in my office, though I do try to work from home Fridays. But I use those days to squeeze in all the domestic stuff I haven't had time for during the week - grocery shopping, house pick up, laundry (though my kids are all responsible for their own laundry, I usually try to do sheets, towels, my own laundry on Fridays). I also try to schedule any personal appts - medical, haircuts, etc. on Friday as well since I have no other time to do this!

My husband typically manages after-school pickups (our kids are in two different private schools without bus transportation). By the time I get home, the whirling dervish of sports/ECs is already in full swing and I have to come in as the heavy w/r/t homework and piano practice as we maniacally drive them around town. Last night I didn't see my middle child until I kissed him goodnight (he waited up for me to return from my eldest's basketball games). I did see my youngest for 45 minutes while I helped him with his homework, fed him dinner, and sent him off on his bike (with another kid) for his baseball practice.

I wanted to go to bed once I got home, but hadn't even eaten dinner. So I pushed myself to stay up and watch something with my husband (our only time together the entire day), but could only make it for 30 minutes! We do tend to talk on the phone multiple times a day, but if I'm honest, it's mostly to organize schedules. We do try to go out 1-2 times per week (game-changer that our eldest is responsible!)

We are fortunate to have a good social group of families that we actually like, so I have that as a good outlet as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

Not a troll post. But believe whatever you need to. I was an elite athlete and I’m exposing my kids to what I was exposed to as a child. And I can worry about the logistics. I’ve already looked at practice schedules multiple years out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

Not a troll post. But believe whatever you need to. I was an elite athlete and I’m exposing my kids to what I was exposed to as a child. And I can worry about the logistics. I’ve already looked at practice schedules multiple years out.

You’re a legend in your own mind, ma’am. Thanks for the laughs!

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Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how many of these responders have three kids. Everyone I know with three+ kids wouldn’t change it. It’s human nature to adapt. If you have a strong marriage, similar desire for more kids, and means - go for it.

I'm a previous responder, and I have three kids, and my husband and I both work. It's really hard, and I am at a breaking point at least 1-2 times a week, because I feel like I haven't had sufficient 1-1 interaction with my kids (much less my husband). We are generally just cars passing each other in the driveway as we drive the kids to all of their things (our kids are 14, 11, and 8).

Of course I wouldn't change my family - I can't imagine life without my kids! I love watching them grow and I love watching each and every sporting event (maybe not winter swim meets, but oh well!) But I also agree with a previous poster that you need to also think about your own happiness and mental health. There are days when I have basically no time for myself, and despite my husband (who works remotely full-time) pulling a ton of weight, if you're a mom, the likelihood is that you're still going to carry much more of the domestic and emotional load (even, if as in my case, you are the priority breadwinner.)

Again! Wouldn't change my 3 kids. But I worry about my stress and emotional health, and probably as a result of those two things, am prone to yelling when frustrated.

How old are your kids? Do you work from home? I usually can spend at least 30 minutes to multiple hours 1:1 with each kid each day and my kids are 5 and under. Also, my husband and I have a lot of intimacy, talk multiple times a day, and hang out at night. We’re very connected.

DP, but that's because you have very young children still that are napping, going to bed early, and not in extracurriculars. PP said she has 8, 11, and 14 year olds, which is fundamentally different parenting than babies and preschoolers. Try not to sound so smug when you just don't know yet.

None of my children nap and my youngest wakes up multiple times a night.

I think it comes down to what you prioritize.

Oh and my oldest does field hockey on the weekends and during the week gymnastics, swimming, water polo, and tennis. My child is swimming and gymnastics.

Not trying to sound smug but as your children get older it should be easier to spend 1:1 time with them and talking to your spouse during the day is about picking up the phone occasionally and chatting…and chatting before bed. If you are chaperoning your kids to activities can’t you talk to them? Isn’t it easier to spend time with your spouse when your kids don’t need constant supervision…and if they are going to be late why can’t you spend any of that time with them?

This poster has to be a troll, right? Do water polo and field hockey even exist for the preschool crowd? If so good luck giving your youngest the experience of 4 sports during the week plus 1 on the weekends when you’re having to balance the older kids schedules as well.

I’m a SAHM. Preschool kids have the entire afternoon free. My kid went to preschool 2 mornings per week, then 3 days per week and then 4 at the end. My mom elite athlete daughter swam, did dance and played piano. Many other kids played soccer and did ice skating. One girl had a nanny drive her to lacrosse. Lots of girls do gymnastics. I don’t think it is as big of a deal as everyone is making it.

My older kids didn’t do as much as pp but by age 6-7, they played sports daily.