14y old has been asking for a “Quincenera” (sp?) party since last year (at 13).
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Anonymous
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I’m Latina but not Hispanic (Brazil) and husband is white. We do not have a culture of quincenera parties in Brazil, but do have something that I think it is similar, called “Debutant party” at 15 for girls.
But even in MY time, living on the equivalent of the south here, it was pretty rare. I went to ONE in my whole life there, and mostly, even 30 years ago, was some debutant party in the country club for all 15y old girls whose parents chose to participate/pay. BUT even that was rare because mostly they just gave the girls an expensive gift such as nice jewelry and a trip, such as a trip to Disney or Europe. My daughter wants a “big bawl dress” and “everything else” (whatever that entails). How does one go about this type of thing if you have no friends or acquaintances that can steer you in the right direction? How much does something like this cost, the most basic one? Does quincenera includes waltzing as well? I’m so lost. |
Anonymous
| Tell her it’s cultural appropriation and she won’t be having one. |
Anonymous
| Well if you can't even spell it you probably shouldn't be doing it. |
Anonymous
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Once Upon a Quinceanera: Coming of Age in the USA Is a book that explains it all. https://www.amazon.com/Once-Upon-Quinceanera-Coming-Age/dp/0452288304
Quick, interesting read but I would not throw one for my child because it’s not part of our culture. |
Anonymous
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Please spell everything right, OP. A few seconds of Googling would suffice.
I'm European, and in certain circles, we have debutante balls too. They originated to introduce young noble ladies of marriageable age to their Majesties, the court, and to eligible bachelors. Their families hoped to marry them off before their 20s. So it's ball gown. Débutante (French, feminine, means "beginner", as in, starting out in the world). You could rent a hotel ballroom, invite all her friends, tell them the theme is formal ball gown, and have a huge party, limos, photoshoot, mocktails, fancy food, etc. You could attach a specific historical period to it, or not. You could go SteamPunk Goth Victorian, or Elven, or whatever. Or just the Cinderella vibe she seems to want. She's old enough to be aware of the costs of the event, and compare them to her future college expenses, car, etc. It all comes from the same pot, and you need to sensitize her to budgeting. So she can have whatever party she wants, within your wallet's limitations. Débutante balls are a caucasian tradition from Europe, exported wherever Europeans migrated to. (The Spaniard Quinceanera is an off-shoot of that. Just don't call it that.) |
Anonymous
| My Mexican DDs aren’t having a quince because they are super expensive and take so much time to plan. Instead we’re going on a special trip. |
Anonymous
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Where is she getting this? Are her friends doing it?
Send her to high school prom. Much cheaper. |
Anonymous
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I would just say no. She just wants a party and to be fussed over and get fancy gifts.
If you want to do it, hire an event planner who specializes in this. |
Anonymous
| Just say no. You don’t always get what you want. Shut the conversation down. |
Anonymous
| I think it is a lovely tradition and would definitely do it if I was a Latina. I saw a young lady with a beautiful blue ball gown posing for pictures in front of the National Mall during the cherry blossom festival. It doesn't have to be huge and expensive. |
Anonymous
| It's not your tradition so I think it is inappropriate for you to do so. |
Anonymous
| A good friend who immigrated from Mexico didn't have one but always wished she did. |
Anonymous
It's an American Latina tradition. |
Anonymous
It’s not a Brazilian tradition. OP’s daughter is ridiculous. |
Anonymous
No, it’s not. Quinceaneras are part of Mexican and Latin America cultures and was brought to the US by immigrants. https://www.britannica.com/topic/quinceanera It’s not part of the culture of Brazil as even the OP notes. |