So sad for my son

[Anonymous]

This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

[Anonymous]

Find a new team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

[Anonymous]

DP here. A new team is the answer. Either that or tell him to hang in there and wait until it gets better. It probably will get better but will that be before or after he wants to quit the sport entirely.

[Anonymous]

If it’s outside of school, a new team may be the answer. If it’s a school based team, talk to the coach if there is one that is not a child’s parent.

[Anonymous]

Knowing which sport might help generate more meaningful responses. Without more, the best advice is to find a new team.

[Anonymous]

It's not worth it if there are other teams where he can enjoy it. Maybe a rec team or neighborhood team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

It sounds like he needs to toughen up.

Rec ball is perfect for some kids. Look around for leagues with his caliber of play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not worth it if there are other teams where he can enjoy it. Maybe a rec team or neighborhood team?

It's baseball and the teams all overlap - school team. the school team kids also play rec.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

It sounds like he needs to toughen up.

Rec ball is perfect for some kids. Look around for leagues with his caliber of play.

The school team kids also play rec. And he's good! He's just not part of the cool guys.

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm sorry for your son. The same thing happened to my son with baseball. That said, grade six is the last year of Little League and often the most politcal. After that, there are lots of other options.

FWIW, my kid used to love baseball, and then soured on the sport bc of this behavior. He now loves a completely different sport with a completely different set of kids.

[Anonymous]

How old are we talking here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are we talking here?

NM. I see it's sixth grade. I don't have a ton of great advice for a kid that young that isn't already being said here. I'd definitely look to play on a team those kids aren't on or have him switch sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are we talking here?

It says on the OP, 6 gr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP here. A new team is the answer. Either that or tell him to hang in there and wait until it gets better. It probably will get better but will that be before or after he wants to quit the sport entirely.

This or you try to tip the scales by hosting some social gatherings at your expense with these kids to try to expedite friendship. You can go to the coach/cool dad for help but that is dicey and can backfire.

Your son is experiencing a mini hazing with these kids. Sometimes it gets better and sometimes it doesn’t.