So sad for my son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

It sounds like he needs to toughen up.

Rec ball is perfect for some kids. Look around for leagues with his caliber of play.

The school team kids also play rec. And he's good! He's just not part of the cool guys.

There are a ton of baseball leagues. It doesn't matter if they all overlap. Sometimes it's a specific combo of kids who create a problem. If the primarily problem is the school team, gut it out until the end of the season and then try to stay away from the key problem kids in a league. The whole dynamic may be different the following school year.

There isn't anything you can do as a parent besides listen, support, and be willing to switch rec teams. Many people move in and out of leagues. It's always possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

It is exactly the right answer. You can't make a group of kids be nice to your kid at this age. Find a place where your kid is valued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

It is exactly the right answer. You can't make a group of kids be nice to your kid at this age. Find a place where your kid is valued.

From thin air?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

It is exactly the right answer. You can't make a group of kids be nice to your kid at this age. Find a place where your kid is valued.

From thin air?

There are a lot of baseball leagues and teams, even rec. What school has a baseball team for 6th graders by the way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

Get him to play Ultimate Frisbee. Nicest and most welcoming kids you will find anywhere in any sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

It is exactly the right answer. You can't make a group of kids be nice to your kid at this age. Find a place where your kid is valued.

From thin air?

There are a lot of baseball leagues and teams, even rec. What school has a baseball team for 6th graders by the way?

It's town based but grouped by school where we are.

[Anonymous]

Are you in the DMV? There are literally hundreds of travel baseball teams in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

It is exactly the right answer. You can't make a group of kids be nice to your kid at this age. Find a place where your kid is valued.

From thin air?

There are a lot of baseball leagues and teams, even rec. What school has a baseball team for 6th graders by the way?

It's town based but grouped by school where we are.

.

OP, you live in an area where there is only one league available?

You can ask to be placed with a different school grouping or join a nearby town’s league. I’ve seen both options with my neighbors and their kids.

The other option is to support your kid in dealing with it and staying where you are at. There are pros and cons to both approaches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

Get him to play Ultimate Frisbee. Nicest and most welcoming kids you will find anywhere in any sport.

This. Are you really shocked OP? Or just hoped your son would be one of the “cool guys” so it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s like when someone comes on here complaining about mean girls/moms at their DD competitive dance or gymnastics studio. Duh.

[Anonymous]

Honestly he is so young. My ds found his sport in high school after playing several others, including hockey which was pure hell with terrible parents and a mean group of kids. He is good at the sport, AND there is fantastic camaraderie which is a really big part of why playing sports is important for teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

Get him to play Ultimate Frisbee. Nicest and most welcoming kids you will find anywhere in any sport.

This. Are you really shocked OP? Or just hoped your son would be one of the “cool guys” so it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s like when someone comes on here complaining about mean girls/moms at their DD competitive dance or gymnastics studio. Duh.

You seem charming. No, I hoped he'd play a sport he both loved where kids were kind. SILLY ME

[Anonymous]

Leave the team. This is not a healthy environment for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find a new team

That's not helpful, good lord.

It is exactly the right answer. You can't make a group of kids be nice to your kid at this age. Find a place where your kid is valued.

From thin air?

There are a lot of baseball leagues and teams, even rec. What school has a baseball team for 6th graders by the way?

It's town based but grouped by school where we are.

NP here. Well that stinks. In the DC area, it would be relatively easy to find some travel club in almost every sport. You may have to drive farther, but it is likely available. I think you need to look at a travel club that is not school-based if he wants to play. If that won't work, a, find a different sport or activity he can do that will not be with this group of kids. If I were you, I'd try to position him to (1) have friends from his sport that don't go to his school and (2) develop a good group of school friends. The two don't have to overlap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave the team. This is not a healthy environment for him.

Maybe parents should teach their kids how to act and behave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the age where sports begin to get competitive, grade six. My son loves his particular sport and is good at it but is not apparently part of the "cool" clique of kids who also play, who are exceptionally good. He is not being played as often by the coach (who is, apparently the parent of a "cool" kid), has been told by other players that he doesn't deserve to be on the team, isn't getting the ball as much, et cetera. Basically he feels excluded by a sport he enjoys and kids who are nicer/don't trash talk do not play the sport, so he is left either playing alone or participating on a team where he feels unwelcome. And it is past the age where everyone has to get "along." Over break son found out a bunch of kids from the team went to a certain camp, he also went, they all carpooled and he ended up coming home in tears because they trash talked him. But it seems too old for a parent to step in (not to mention would raise the ire of the kids). Any advice on how to handle this sports trash talk and clique-ness?

It sounds like he needs to toughen up.

Rec ball is perfect for some kids. Look around for leagues with his caliber of play.

The school team kids also play rec. And he's good! He's just not part of the cool guys.

If he were really good, the coach would be playing him. I wonder about your objectivity given your thoughts about the coach playing clique and being a "cool kid" parent. A certain amount of rough-housing, and that includes "trash talk," is part of boys' (and eventually mens') sports. It's definitely obnoxious, but it is part of how they bond. If your kid doesn't like it, perhaps he should find some other activity.