Thank you both for sharing. I can't tell you how much this has opened my eyes. |
Mid 40’s woman. DH loves sex and we have some kind at least twice a week. He’s not great at it and I’m not attracted to him but he’s a good human in every other way so I am resigning myself to the fact that this one aspect of my life isn’t going to be stellar. Before you say ‘tell him what you want, etc.’ we’ve obviously tried a lot of different things. I’m not a hugely sexual person myself so it’s not that important to me. In my 20’s I had a relationship with the kind of sex I still fantasize about but in every other aspect the man was a jerk and a loser. That and some other experiences taught me that sex isn’t the #1 priority, for me at least
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https://www.ashasexualhealth.org/herpes/#:~:text=It%20is%20estimated%20that%20one,or%20no%20symptoms%20at%20all. |
I get that you’ve tried talking to your DH, but without getting too explicit what is it that the other guy was doing that DH isn’t doing and why isn’t DH doing it? I’m just trying to wrap my head around knowing what I want from someone and having them not being willing to give it. |
If you read the whole thing-this statistic is including those with HsV-1 as well as HSV-2. Totally believable that 1 in 8 people have HSV-1. 1 in 8 people do not have HSV-2 as much as you want it to be true since you stated you have it. |
This. |
How old are you? This is healthy |
Sounds like if your husband was a bit more of a "jerk/loser" the sex could get better lol |
I am in a similar situation. I love my husband but the sex is not that great and has gotten worse over time . And yes the guys I dated before him were jerks but the sex was great . I’ve tried to be very direct in what I want in the bedroom but it doesn’t get me anywhere . |
50 (and loving this age) |
I have lost feeling in my left leg |
FROM THE ARTICLE: How common is herpes? More than 50 percent of the adult population in the United States has oral herpes (commonly called cold sores or fever blisters). Most people contract oral herpes when they are children by receiving a kiss from a friend or relative. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 12% (one in eight) persons ages 14-49 in the United States has genital HSV-2 infection; however, as many as 90 percent are unaware that they have the virus. There are many reasons people do not know they have herpes (see the section on Signs and Symptoms for more). Anyone who is sexually active can contract genital herpes. |
It’s done nothing. I’m super busy with life, but def don’t want my unattractive spouse. |
NP, I’m constantly amazed how ignorant people are about herpes. It’s so ubiquitous and most people have hsv-1. How much do you want to bet the person arguing with you has it and doesn’t even know it? |
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