What has a lack of sex done to you?

[Anonymous]

I stepped out, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Ditto

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having the one person that you’re only supposed to have sex with not want to have sex with you hurts, it just does not matter the reason.

I feel seen! And it’s not just the sex but lack of any physical contact that has totally crushed any sense of attractiveness I used to have. I’d be willing to cheat just to feel that someone else desires me, but, well, no one else does so there we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce. Life is too short.

It really doesn’t make a difference. Trades other problems. I have sex all the time. Not happier because of it.

[Anonymous]

I've gone 2-3 years without, when I'm single and not meeting any good options. It sucks, but it's better than dating someone I don't like that much. After awhile you just kind of backburner it. But then when I do start dating again, it's like giddyup.

[Anonymous]

I miss it but every time I think about making it happen, I realize I'm investing all my time in my kids and I don't really have the bandwidth for a relationship. Plus at this point I'm afraid the next time I try to have it, I'll be bad at it.

And I also think that by the time my kids are out of the house, I'll be too old to find anyone. Oh well...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had marriage problems for awhile and DH declined to have sex with me.

It made me insane. I was late 30s and couldn’t imagine that this was the end of my sex life. I cried a lot. I eventually engaged in an emotional affair but cut it off because I realized I would rather divorce my husband than lose my integrity. The other man made me feel alive again. My husband and I eventually worked things out. Years ago I would have been very judgmental of someone who committed adultery but having been through the experience I had I don’t judge anyone who makes a bad decision when they have that kind of lonely desperation. It makes you nuts.

This is so so true. I used to be so judgmental. But my husband has completely forgotten about me and I don’t judge people anymore. It’s the worst feeling and I absolutely understand why people do what they do now.

I didn’t think it was important, more of a nice to vs must have. We were living like roommates with high conflict and no path to resolution, but kids were thriving (both under 5). We stopped communicating to avoid conflict.

Ended up sleeping with somebody unmarried but much younger. Told DW about it thinking it would either get us on a path to fixing things or divorcing fast. We are divorcing. Always wondered what kind of uniquely shitty person does this. Turns out it’s me.

Don’t regret it at all- would rather have something real than live a lie to maintain optics. I’m going to miss continuous time with my kids and don’t hold DW in contempt at all. We rushed into marriage, never built the foundation/real intimacy and 10 years later here we are at age ~40. Life is funny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had marriage problems for awhile and DH declined to have sex with me.

It made me insane. I was late 30s and couldn’t imagine that this was the end of my sex life. I cried a lot. I eventually engaged in an emotional affair but cut it off because I realized I would rather divorce my husband than lose my integrity. The other man made me feel alive again. My husband and I eventually worked things out. Years ago I would have been very judgmental of someone who committed adultery but having been through the experience I had I don’t judge anyone who makes a bad decision when they have that kind of lonely desperation. It makes you nuts.

This is so so true. I used to be so judgmental. But my husband has completely forgotten about me and I don’t judge people anymore. It’s the worst feeling and I absolutely understand why people do what they do now.

I didn’t think it was important, more of a nice to vs must have. We were living like roommates with high conflict and no path to resolution, but kids were thriving (both under 5). We stopped communicating to avoid conflict.

Ended up sleeping with somebody unmarried but much younger. Told DW about it thinking it would either get us on a path to fixing things or divorcing fast. We are divorcing. Always wondered what kind of uniquely shitty person does this. Turns out it’s me.

Don’t regret it at all- would rather have something real than live a lie to maintain optics. I’m going to miss continuous time with my kids and don’t hold DW in contempt at all. We rushed into marriage, never built the foundation/real intimacy and 10 years later here we are at age ~40. Life is funny

Damn

[Anonymous]

There are pros to this you know. No unwanted pregnancy. No STIs. Help yourself whenever you’ve like.

[Anonymous]

For some reason, Married people have less sex after marriage than before marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, Married people have less sex after marriage than before marriage.

In our case that reason is kids. When we were married but didn't have kids yet we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

[Anonymous]

When I’m single or have extenuating life circumstances, it’s just one of those things. When I’m in a relationship, it’s torture and misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce. Life is too short.

It really doesn’t make a difference. Trades other problems. I have sex all the time. Not happier because of it.

+1. I need an emotional bonding in my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've gone 2-3 years without, when I'm single and not meeting any good options. It sucks, but it's better than dating someone I don't like that much. After awhile you just kind of backburner it. But then when I do start dating again, it's like giddyup.

Same here. You just accept the situation when you are single. I love sex, but I am not going to sleep around or lower my standards to just have sex.

[Anonymous]

It made me bitter and angry, affected my self esteem and health.