Monday's Most Active Threads

Yesterday's most active thread was a bit of a surprise to me. Titled, "2024 AP Exams - Results", and posted in the "College and University Discussion" forum, the thread was literally about the results of the 2024 advanced placement exams. Started at 4:33 a.m., the thread was meant to alert posters that the scores had been released three minutes earlier at 4:30 a.m. I was a bit surprised that parents would be up at 4:30 to check their kids' test results, but then I noticed that the original poster was in California. Still, that would be 1:30 a.m. her time. Clearly, my dedication as a parent is not measuring up very favorably because I would be sound asleep at either 1:30 or 4:30 a.m. I would find out about my kids' test results if or when they got around to telling me about them. Because many of the parents posting in this thread were obviously learning about the results before their kids — who were likely still asleep — had had a chance to check them, there was some discussion about whether the parents should stay mum until the kids saw their scores themselves or go ahead and tell them. There were also concerns expressed that checking the scores was an invasion of the kids' privacy. But most of the thread was simply posters posting the results. Those whose kids received all 5s (the top score) were obviously thrilled. Some were pleased with a 4 but some were a bit let down. Some posters argued that the difference between a 4 and a 5 is minimal and doesn't indicate much about a student's abilities. Scores of 3 were a bit more controversial. Some colleges award credits for a 3 and, therefore, several posters were satisfied that their kids had received 3s. But others viewed 3s as disappointing. I didn't read the entire thread which is currently 18 pages long, but I did notice several posts saying that scores this year had improved over previous years. Some attributed this to better prepared students and pandemic set backs finally being overcome. But others argued that the tests are getting easier and that high scores should not be taken that seriously. AP scores are particularly important to those students who are applying to universities in the United Kingdom where ACT and SAT results are not accepted but AP exams are required. Therefore, in some cases, these results will determine where kids will be going to college next year. Despite the concentration on scores, there is quite a bit of additional discusion on the topic of AP exams. If you are not familiar with the exams or are interested in deepening your knowledge, this would be a good thread to peruse.

The next three most active threads were ones that I've already discussed. This seems to reflect a trend of recent months in which posters stay engaged with particular threads for long periods of time. These threads grow to hundreds of pages in length and routinely show up among the most active threads. Skipping those threads means that the next thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "Off-Topic" forum and titled, "how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?". The original poster says that she has a friend who is from a town that is known for a specific tourist attraction. Her friend moved away from that town and has not had the financial means to return. The friend has two adult children who live in the town, but she hasn't been able to visit them due to finances. This friend gets very emotional when discussing how much she misses the town and would like to visit. The original poster's husband planned a trip with their children to visit the tourist attraction in the town, expecting the original poster to be on a business trip at that time. But that business trip was cancelled and now the original poster will be joining her family on their trip. She is worried that if she tells her friend that she is visiting her friend's hometown, her friend will be upset. But she doesn't know how she can keep it a secret because they talk almost every day. Many posters react by questioning why the original poster doesn't simply take her friend with them. The original poster repeatedly argues that her friend's financial situation is extremely dismal and that DCUM users have no idea what it is like to be so poor. Moreover, the original poster doesn't want to pay "several grand" for her friend's air ticket, hotel, and food. This confuses many posters because the original poster had described the vacation as a "road trip". Moreover, once at the destination, the friend could stay with her adult children. The original poster then explained that her friend actually lives across the country from the original poster and would have to fly to their destination and that her adult children live in studio apartments with roommates so she couldn't stay with them. Moreover, even if the friend were close by, there is no room in the original poster's car because it only holds four people. Many posters are most concerned about which town they are planning to visit, something that the original poster refuses to divulge. As for whether to tell the friend about the trip or not, those responding answer both ways. Moreover, many opinions changed as additional information was made available. The thread is full of posts by those who haven't read the previous posts and are responding based on incomplete information. Those posts were normally followed by responses from frustrated posters who were losing their minds over the need to repeat everything.

The next most active thread was titled, "If more women are going for sperm donor kids, will men similarly turn to surrogates?" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that it seems like more women are becoming single mothers by choice and relying on sperm donors. The original poster then asks whether this will lead to men increasingly relying on egg donors and surrogates. To put it mildly, responses to this post were very wide ranging. Many posters pointed out the expense of surrogacy which limits the number of men that might rely on it as a means of becoming a parent. Some users, referring to abortion restrictions in many states, argued that in the states in which women might be most motivated to become surrogates, pregnancy is becoming too risky. There was some speculation that an industry could develop abroad, but many countries prohibit surrogacy for pay. Another argument was that any man who was interested in being a father and contributing as a parent would have no problem finding a women with whom to have a baby. Some of these posters argued that the choice of becoming single mothers was motivated by the perception that many men, in the view of women, bring very little to the table. That calculus would change in the case of a man who did want to be an involved parent. The thread took a strange turn when a poster argued that sperm donors are unfairly compensated and that this is discrimination against males. We were then treated to an explanation of market economics as it applies to ejaculation. Several posters insisted that men generally don't want to engage in parenting and are only willing to do it when they have a woman on whom they can rely. Therefore, very few would want to be single dads. One poster wrote, "Jeff should highlight dumbest posts of the week in his blog. This one would win." I won't necessarily say that this is one of the dumbests threads of the week. But I also won't deny it. The thread just goes off in so many different directions. Some posters attack the very idea of surrogacy or sperm banks, seeing them as corporate evils that are exploitative and promote eugenics. Even more inane is a poster who, citing "300,000 years" of human history argues that men do not by nature contribute to parenting. When one poster describe her husband who very much wanted to be a father and contributed significantly to parenting, the inane poster basically called her husband a freak of nature. This thread reflects terribly on men. Either because of the perceptions of men held by many of the female posters or the posts from men that made men look even worse.

The final thread that I will discuss today was posted in the "Travel Discussion" forum and titled, "Why are so many people scared of driving while abroad?". The original poster says that they (presumably the poster and spouse) have driven on multiple continents and numerous countries and find that it greatly enhances their travels because they can visit out of the way places and have much more freedom than they would by relying on public transportation. The original poster doesn't understand why so many others are fearful of driving in other countries and highly recommends doing so. Several other posters said that they also drive when travelling abroad, but almost all of them were understanding of those who preferred not to drive. Some of them were even happy that travellers who felt uncomfortable about driving avoided it. Many posters defended their reluctance to drive, offering a range of reasons. One was afraid of liability resulting from a wreck. Others were worried about the crazy drivers in some countries. A number of posters said that driving is stressful and they go on vacation to relax. Some posters found that hiring a private driver was a much better option. Language barriers and local driving habits were other reasons posters said they avoided driving. The vast majority of posters in this thread are entirely reasonable regardless of whether they prefer to drive when travelling or not. The original poster was perhaps the only exception, refusing to accept any excuse for not driving and implying that anyone who preferred not to was a wimp. In typical DCUM style, there is always a poster ready to one-up another poster. The original poster had listed many travels in all parts of the world to demonstrate experience. But, another poster was having none of that, suggesting that the original poster try "a minibike in remote Indonesia for a real adventure". Several posters said that they simply are not confident drivers and, therefore, have no interest in driving in strange environments. Many of them don't even like driving in the USA, let alone in a foreign country. Other posters enjoy using various modes of public transportation, finding it a great way to meet local people. The bottom line is that people are different. Some, like the original poster, prefer to drive regardless of the country. Others never want to drive for a variety of reasons. In the middle are a number of posters who will drive in some places but not in others. Each method has trade-offs and there is no correct answer.