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The first thread that I will discuss today was actually the third most active yesterday since the first two were threads that I've already discussed. The thread that I will start with was titled, "DH says his success is my success" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that she and her husband met in grad school and when they got married they both had demanding careers. However, the original poster later "mommy tracked", eventually becoming a stay-at-home-mom. Meanwhile her husband has been very successful in his career, earning a very high salary that has allowed the family to have a very wealthy lifestyle. However, when the original poster recently had a college reunion, she decided to skip it, partially because she is embarrassed that she no longer works. Her husband says that she has the right to be proud because his success is her success. The original poster is not sure how to think about that and asks if others view the success of their children and spouse as their success. Many posters agree that the original poster's spouse's success is her success because she supported his career and contributed to an overall successful life. Others don't really comment on whether his success is her success, but argue that the original poster has a life that is considerably better than most people's and has a spouse who recognizes her contributions. That is enough in which to take pride and she should simply be happy about it. Similarly, some posters think the original poster is being ridiculous and does not appreciate all that she has. A small number of posters contend that, like the original poster, they would be embarrassed to attend their college reunions because they don't see marrying a rich husband as being an achievement. Many posters argue variations of the idea that there is no perfect life. Instead, everything involves trade-offs. Had the original poster not made sacrifies in her own career, her husband likely would not have achieved the same level of success that he has or something else in their lives would have suffered. These posters suggest that the original poster just needs to accept the trade-offs for what they were. In some ways this thread may reflect changing ideas of feminism. In the 1960s, the expression, "Behind every great man is a great woman" was adopted by the feminist movement as a way to recognize the contributions of often ignored women who frequently enabled the success of their husbands. But these days, many woman don't want to be recognized for standing behind a man, but rather want to be up front or, at least, on equal footing. Also at issue is what is meant by "success". While many can agree that the original poster may not have succeeded professionally, she has contributed to a successful family life. Many see that as "success".