August

The most active thread yesterday was a thread in the "Political Discussion" forum about the latest indictment of former President Donald Trump. Since I've already discussed that thread, I'll go on to the next most active thread which was titled, "Etiquette re landscapers taking their lunch break on my front lawn" and posted in the "Lawn and Garden" forum. I believe that this is the first appearance of a thread from this forum in the most active list. The original poster explains that she has landscapers come weekly to mow her lawn. She is very happy with both the cost and performance of the service. However, often the crew members take lunch just before or after working on her lawn. They lounge around on the ground under a cherry tree in her front yard. They don't leave any trash or cause problems of any kind. Nevertheless, this bothers the original poster. However, she is concerned that complaining will cause problems of some sort and wants to know what others think about the situation. DCUM posters rarely are unanimous in their responses, but in this thread they are very close. Overwhelmingly, posters are appalled that the original poster is upset by this behavior. I don't think more than 2 posters sided with the original poster. The rest considered the original poster to be, at best, unfamiliar with American customs (the original poster described being an immigrant) or, at worst, being a horrible monster. Just about everyone said they would have no problem with the landscapers eating lunch in their yards in this manner. Several said that they routinely offer drinks in similar situations and some even invite workers to sit on their porches or other more comfortable seating. Given the near universal reaction, one would have thought that the original poster would quickly accept that she was wrong. But, no. Instead, the original poster rejected any post that wasn't supportive of her — at one point clearly saying that only the supportive posts were "decent". This attitude further enraged those responding who doubled down on their opinion that the original poster is a terrible person. Any attempt by the original poster to defend herself or offer additional clarification only seemed to make things worse. At the rate things are going, there is a fairly good chance that the original poster will enter the pantheon of DCUM folklore legends  beside Pinecone Mom and Lightly Fried Tuna Lady.

The most active thread yesterday was titled, "Dates and paying bill" and posted in the "Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)" forum. The original poster says that she is 29-years-old is dating a man who is 41. While he is not wealthy, he does make about three times as much as the original poster. The original poster explains that she has picked up some of the expenses on dates, but she is bothered by a recent incident involving paying for dinner. On that occasion, her date had invited her out and chosen the restaurant. They ordered the same things. At the end, the guy grabbed the check and the original poster assumed that he would pay it. She offered to pay the tip, but he responded, "only the tip?". He then suggested that she pay for the drinks, which she did, but felt uneasy about the entire situation. The original poster added that the guy has only had a single relationship that lasted any length of time, that being 8 months. So, she wonders if he is unaware of social norms. But, to some extent, what this thread highlights is the lack of true social norms in this regard. Those responding explain a range of practices. Several think that whoever initiates the date should cover the expenses. Since that is most frequently the man, they end up paying more often. But, women can contribute by arranging dates in response. Others suggest that it is okay for the woman to contribute to a date, but think that using Venmo to transfer a portion of the bill is not the way to go about it. Rather, these posters suggest that the original poster should not have offered to pay anything at dinner, but then suggested to treat for  dessert or another round of drinks elsewhere. Some posters have made paying for dates almost a science. For instance, arguing that the man pay entirely for the early dates, but then contributions are made relative to income. A few male posters weighed in to complain that women want equality except when it comes to paying for dates. This provoked a few posters to respond that such posts reflected poorly on the manhood of those writing them. Other women posters claimed that this is simply a dating preference. If a man wants to split costs with a woman, he should date women who also like to split costs. Maybe this should be included on dating profiles? Many of the responses didn't address the meal paying issue at all. Rather, posters deduced that given the man's lack of long term dating experience, other women must have quickly realized that he was a loser. The original poster was repeatedly advised to move on and not waste time with this guy. Towards the end of the thread, it appeared that the original poster was ready to do this.