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[Post New]05/21/2015 07:52
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Anonymous
I've been with my nanny family for over four years and they want to sit me down tomorrow and talk about the upcoming new school year. The twins will be starting half day kindergarten and big brother will be in second grade (all day). When the twins started preschool (two days a week for two hours) two years ago, I picked up a few household tasks to make up for the loss of time. This past year when preschool turned into three days a week, my bosses and I had a huge fallen out because they expected me to pick up all household duties while the twins were in preschool. It was pretty bad for a while and I even started looking for new employment because my bosses could not understand that it was unfair of them to ask me to become a maid because their kids were placed in a two day preschool program. Since then, things have evened out. I still do many "non-nanny" tasks to keep them happy and to even out the time. As of right now, I make sure the house is nice and tidy when my day ends, empty and reload the dishwasher, do at least two loads of clothes daily, clean the main bath weekly, make all beds daily, clean kitchen which includes wiping counters and sweeping floor daily, mop kitchen weekly, vacuum main living areas twice a week, changes bedsheets weekly, straighten pantry weekly, clean playroom daily, organize and straighten kids clothes weekly, and wash windows weekly. None of these tasks were "given" to me, I just do them to meet my bosses in the middle and to put forth the effort that I am willing to compromise.

Now that the twins will be in half day kindergarten next year, I am unsure of what to tell my bosses that I will do without turning myself into a full fledged maid. I have previously offered to grocery shop and dinner prep but those were quickly shot down. I am so happy that they told me that I'm not going anywhere but I am worried that I won't give them what they want when it comes to more tasks. Thoughts, suggestions, or advice?
[Post New]05/21/2015 08:10
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Anonymous
You do much, much more than I would EVER do, OP. Since I am available for all sick days and when school is closed, I continue to do only child-related tasks in my employers home. I can clean their rooms and bathroom much better now than I could when they were not in school but I have never been asked to do more.
[Post New]05/21/2015 08:36
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Anonymous
There's no way that I would convince my husband, or that I could even convince myself, that paying our nanny to be at home without the kids for 30 hrs/wk makes sense if she's not doing 25 hrs/wk of housework (lunch break factored in). It just does not make sense at all. There's aftercare. There are annual memberships to companies that send temp nannies to your home if something falls through last minute. There's winter break, spring break, and summer break camps with after care. There are backup care centers. And for the handful of days per year when none of that works for you, there's also your own sick leave - DH & I have yet to find a day when it was a disaster for both of us to miss work and shuffle around some appointments when our backup care wasn't available.

All of those options are tens of thousands of dollars cheaper per year than having a nanny. If you're paying that much more, you expect to get that much more. OP, you do not owe it to them to do their housework if you feel it's beneath you, but they will expect something to be done with those 30 hrs or they will figure something else out. Do you have a degree? Maybe you could do some curriculum development for a supplemental education at home program for the kids - that would use up some hours in the week. Good luck to you!
[Post New]05/21/2015 08:38
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Anonymous
Or maybe you could become the household manager - that would be a significant value added.
[Post New]05/21/2015 08:42
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Or maybe you could become the household manager - that would be a significant value added.

Good nannies rarely make good housekeepers, you know.
[Post New]05/21/2015 08:56
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There's no way that I would convince my husband, or that I could even convince myself, that paying our nanny to be at home without the kids for 30 hrs/wk makes sense if she's not doing 25 hrs/wk of housework (lunch break factored in). It just does not make sense at all. There's aftercare. There are annual memberships to companies that send temp nannies to your home if something falls through last minute. There's winter break, spring break, and summer break camps with after care. There are backup care centers. And for the handful of days per year when none of that works for you, there's also your own sick leave - DH & I have yet to find a day when it was a disaster for both of us to miss work and shuffle around some appointments when our backup care wasn't available.

All of those options are tens of thousands of dollars cheaper per year than having a nanny. If you're paying that much more, you expect to get that much more. OP, you do not owe it to them to do their housework if you feel it's beneath you, but they will expect something to be done with those 30 hrs or they will figure something else out. Do you have a degree? Maybe you could do some curriculum development for a supplemental education at home program for the kids - that would use up some hours in the week. Good luck to you!




In OP's case the twins are in half-day kindergarten -- where are you getting 30 hours a week?

I never wanted my kids warehoused in aftercare or subjected to a temp nanny they never met before (especially when they are sick!). For us, with children 10 and 7, having a full time nanny to take the kids to after school activities/lessons and having a loving nanny care for them when they are sick (nanny has been with us for ten years) is worth it's weight in gold. Plus our nanny has substituted five hours a week during the week to give us a night out.
[Post New]05/21/2015 09:03
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Or maybe you could become the household manager - that would be a significant value added.

Good nannies rarely make good housekeepers, you know.


Household managers are not housekeepers. They're more like a personal assistant for the family. But your point that being a nanny may not lend itself to being a good administrative professional is still valid.
[Post New]05/21/2015 09:06
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Anonymous
OP here, I'm brainstorming a bit and am wondering if offering a one night a month of sitting would be helpful?

[Post New]05/21/2015 09:21
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here, I'm brainstorming a bit and am wondering if offering a one night a month of sitting would be helpful?



Sure. I'm the PP with the longterm nanny (ten years) and our nanny gives up five hours a week for a night out. It is heaven!
[Post New]05/21/2015 13:30
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Anonymous
OP, either you are willing to pick up more duties, take less hours, find another way to make it work to meet everyones needs or find another job. It is not reasonable to expect them to pay you for the same hours when their needs have changed and you are not willing to fill that time with something else to benefit them. I'd agree to part ways either this summer or fall.
[Post New]05/21/2015 13:48
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Anonymous
I think they may say to you that they only need you the hours their kids are in school. That is perfectly reasonable. They are currently paying you for 6 hours a week where you do some housekeeping for them and even that was a struggle on both of your part; once it's ~15-20 hours a week (assuming halfday preschool is 3-4 hours?), there is simply no way they're going to keep employing you for the same number of hours ESPECIALLY if you refuse to do housekeeping as requested. If you really think housekeeping is beneath you, then I think you're looking at a part time gig or a new job.
[Post New]05/21/2015 13:49
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Anonymous
Sorry ^^ hours their kids AREN'T in school.
[Post New]05/21/2015 14:54
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nannydebsays

Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:I think they may say to you that they only need you the hours their kids are in school. That is perfectly reasonable. They are currently paying you for 6 hours a week where you do some housekeeping for them and even that was a struggle on both of your part; once it's ~15-20 hours a week (assuming halfday preschool is 3-4 hours?), there is simply no way they're going to keep employing you for the same number of hours ESPECIALLY if you refuse to do housekeeping as requested. If you really think housekeeping is beneath you, then I think you're looking at a part time gig or a new job.


I'm sorry, what exactly is OP NOT doing that covers housekeeping? She posted:

make sure the house is nice and tidy when my day ends, empty and reload the dishwasher, do at least two loads of clothes daily, clean the main bath weekly, make all beds daily, clean kitchen which includes wiping counters and sweeping floor daily, mop kitchen weekly, vacuum main living areas twice a week, changes bedsheets weekly, straighten pantry weekly, clean playroom daily, organize and straighten kids clothes weekly, and wash windows weekly.


I guess she could clean ALL the bathrooms and also vacuum the whole house, but...
[Post New]05/21/2015 15:06
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think they may say to you that they only need you the hours their kids are in school. That is perfectly reasonable. They are currently paying you for 6 hours a week where you do some housekeeping for them and even that was a struggle on both of your part; once it's ~15-20 hours a week (assuming halfday preschool is 3-4 hours?), there is simply no way they're going to keep employing you for the same number of hours ESPECIALLY if you refuse to do housekeeping as requested. If you really think housekeeping is beneath you, then I think you're looking at a part time gig or a new job.


Where did you read that OP refused to do housework and wasn't willing to work with her bosses. It seems to me that she has gone above and beyond. There's no way her bosses could only say that they can only pay her for the hours that the kids are in school...she she has to come to work and get the kids off to school...then not work or get pay the entire time kids are in school...and then return for a few hours to oversee the afternoon hours? No way will her bosses be able to fill that kind of position.
[Post New]05/21/2015 19:47
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There's no way that I would convince my husband, or that I could even convince myself, that paying our nanny to be at home without the kids for 30 hrs/wk makes sense if she's not doing 25 hrs/wk of housework (lunch break factored in). It just does not make sense at all. There's aftercare. There are annual memberships to companies that send temp nannies to your home if something falls through last minute. There's winter break, spring break, and summer break camps with after care. There are backup care centers. And for the handful of days per year when none of that works for you, there's also your own sick leave - DH & I have yet to find a day when it was a disaster for both of us to miss work and shuffle around some appointments when our backup care wasn't available.

All of those options are tens of thousands of dollars cheaper per year than having a nanny. If you're paying that much more, you expect to get that much more. OP, you do not owe it to them to do their housework if you feel it's beneath you, but they will expect something to be done with those 30 hrs or they will figure something else out. Do you have a degree? Maybe you could do some curriculum development for a supplemental education at home program for the kids - that would use up some hours in the week. Good luck to you!




In OP's case the twins are in half-day kindergarten -- where are you getting 30 hours a week?

I never wanted my kids warehoused in aftercare or subjected to a temp nanny they never met before (especially when they are sick!). For us, with children 10 and 7, having a full time nanny to take the kids to after school activities/lessons and having a loving nanny care for them when they are sick (nanny has been with us for ten years) is worth it's weight in gold. Plus our nanny has substituted five hours a week during the week to give us a night out.



Take note: this is a good mother and a good employer. Her children have the stability of a longterm nanny and the employer has the coverage she needs.
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