Kids starting Kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's no way that I would convince my husband, or that I could even convince myself, that paying our nanny to be at home without the kids for 30 hrs/wk makes sense if she's not doing 25 hrs/wk of housework (lunch break factored in). It just does not make sense at all. There's aftercare. There are annual memberships to companies that send temp nannies to your home if something falls through last minute. There's winter break, spring break, and summer break camps with after care. There are backup care centers. And for the handful of days per year when none of that works for you, there's also your own sick leave - DH & I have yet to find a day when it was a disaster for both of us to miss work and shuffle around some appointments when our backup care wasn't available.

All of those options are tens of thousands of dollars cheaper per year than having a nanny. If you're paying that much more, you expect to get that much more. OP, you do not owe it to them to do their housework if you feel it's beneath you, but they will expect something to be done with those 30 hrs or they will figure something else out. Do you have a degree? Maybe you could do some curriculum development for a supplemental education at home program for the kids - that would use up some hours in the week. Good luck to you!

In OP's case the twins are in half-day kindergarten -- where are you getting 30 hours a week?

I never wanted my kids warehoused in aftercare or subjected to a temp nanny they never met before (especially when they are sick!). For us, with children 10 and 7, having a full time nanny to take the kids to after school activities/lessons and having a loving nanny care for them when they are sick (nanny has been with us for ten years) is worth it's weight in gold. Plus our nanny has substituted five hours a week during the week to give us a night out.

Take note: this is a good mother and a good employer. Her children have the stability of a longterm nanny and the employer has the coverage she needs.

Meaning those who are unwilling or unable to hire a full time nanny to provide part time care are bad mothers?!? PP may be a good mother, but terrible at finances.

[Anonymous]

My plan, once my kids are in school, is to find someone who is willing to do all of the housekeeping, even the deep cleaning, and keep the kids as necessary on school breaks. It'll be a full time job with good pay, but more housekeeping/driving than kid stuff.

Our current nanny would HATE that job, but the college student we used to have as a morning mother's helper/household assistant would love it. I know I will have to find someone new when the time comes.

Older kids need more supervision than anything else, and I think most nannies' talents are kind of wasted here. I mean, sure, if I were very wealthy, I'd split this into two or more positions, but that's not an option.

Younger kids = kid-focused nanny; older kids = someone to make the family run smoothly.

[Anonymous]

Yep- mom of older kids here. We kept our nanny for past 9 years because she was willing to take on different roles each year with my aging kids. I wouldn't be upset with nanny if she said she wouldn't do housekeeping, errands or walk my dog, but if she did, I would find someone else. I have a nanny that does this and I know there are lots of others that will do it.

[Anonymous]

Newsflash: Most parents put them in a financial bind for the early childhood years to pay a nanny. We sacrifice retirement savings, college savings, and other important financial priorities to provide expensive childcare for our kids. Some of us even go into debt (credit card and otherwise) to pay for childcare. Most of us are not millionaires.

It is worth it, but we can only do it knowing IT IS A TEMPORARY SITUATION. We plan on being cash poor for a few years, but then making it up later after we don't have to pay for a nanny anymore.

So, that is why the majority of us switch to school aftercare or part-time babysitters as soon as our kids are in Kindergarten. By that point we may have paid over $200,000 in early childcare costs. It has to stop at some point so we can then focus on paying for our kids' college educations.

OP- it's probably time for you to move to a new young family.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are doing a lot but whether it's fair or not, worth trying to keep or not, depends on the rate you are getting. If you are being compensated appropriately, stay on. Offering babysitting once a month so parents can do date night is a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are doing a lot but whether it's fair or not, worth trying to keep or not, depends on the rate you are getting. If you are being compensated appropriately, stay on. Offering babysitting once a month so parents can do date night is a great idea.

Yes. If I were struggling to fill a full-time schedule for my nanny, I would welcome the suggestion to maybe "shift" hours once or twice a week, so that instead of coming in the morning, you'd come at midday and then stay into the evening. Maybe once a week we would both be able to go to the gym or something. Same total number of hours, just used differently.

You could also get really creative and do that less than once a week if coming in late/staying late doesn't appeal to you, or think of other ways to split up your 40 hours so that it's mutually beneficial without being all about housekeeping or making you work 6 days a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: Most parents put them in a financial bind for the early childhood years to pay a nanny. We sacrifice retirement savings, college savings, and other important financial priorities to provide expensive childcare for our kids. Some of us even go into debt (credit card and otherwise) to pay for childcare. Most of us are not millionaires.

It is worth it, but we can only do it knowing IT IS A TEMPORARY SITUATION. We plan on being cash poor for a few years, but then making it up later after we don't have to pay for a nanny anymore.

So, that is why the majority of us switch to school aftercare or part-time babysitters as soon as our kids are in Kindergarten. By that point we may have paid over $200,000 in early childcare costs. It has to stop at some point so we can then focus on paying for our kids' college educations.

OP- it's probably time for you to move to a new young family.

This is a reality for us. We love our nanny (will be 6 years this fall), but we cannot afford to keep her when the oldest starts FT kindergarten. I am not looking forward to us parting ways. If money were not an issue, I'd keep her until the kids left for college.