My nanny is burnt out
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Anonymous
| OP here -- 40-45 hours a week, with a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old with either me or someone else here to help with nap time. She doesn't have any other duties most of the time -- I have family help with laundry and dishes and cooking. I've worried about depression or a health issue. She did mention that she was going to the doctor and asked for my ob's contact info. But I've asked several times and I've said I can tell she's tired and not performing as well as she used to. I can't pry much more than that. It could also just be that when she worked with multiple small children in the past she was younger. And, she's very caring and kind but not good at being firm and my son is 2.5. So that's really difficult if you can't tell him no. But we've talked about that over and over and I've done and said what I can. I'm not saying it's an easy job. Hell I'm their mom and sometimes I want to run away. But I don't think it's particularly awful as far as nanny jobs go. |
Anonymous
OP here -- I just wanted to add that we specifically chose a nanny over daycare b/c my husband travels for work and I wanted someone who could stay late or come early if need be. As it turns out, that rarely happens and if I ask for it I am usually met with the stink eye. |
Anonymous
OP, another MB here. I am so sorry to agree with others on this thread. I think you need to think about a replacement. You should find someone who can handle what you really need -- at least the ability to work overtime. Many nannies would love such a setup, and there are many great nannies out there. I'd sit down with your nanny and let her know that your life is hectic and you really need enough help to make things work. You can give your nanny the options you gave -- either cut back her days, find another job, or go back to normal schedule (Which you hope if this a health problem or other temporary problem that can be resolved.) LEt her know that while you love and greatly value her, if she can't select either option 1 or 3 (3 being within two weeks), you will need to look for a new nanny, but that you will be happy to give her a good reference and severance. Then follow through and hold her to the terms. Not because you are mean but because you respect her as any adult. I know it's tough to have these conversations and I once had to have a conversation (about being late) with my current nanny. But I am soo glad I did now. It really cleared things up. And while I love my nanny, if my nanny became like yours thinking about it, I'd have to look for another too. |
Anonymous
| From what you discribed it is a typical nanny job: nothing harder than average. Either there is medical explanation, or she is not a good fit for you, or both. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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This isn't burnout, this is incompetence and excuses.
Find a replacement to start for December or jan then pay her two weeks severance. |
Anonymous
| Do you know what a paragraph is? Try using them. Trying to read your opus burned me out. |
Anonymous
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Let her go. If she has some health issue, she needs to deal with it herself and not expect her employer to deal with it.
She's lazy or incapable. Either way, you need to find yourself a better nanny. |
Anonymous
| You need to replace her. She signed on for more than she could handle. |
nannydebsays
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OP, I think you know that it's time to let her go. Give her notice if you're comfortable having her continue to work, or let her know she's done once you have found her replacement and give her a small severance.
As a nanny, I think that the PP's above suggesting you push her to be proactive in discovering what's wrong are wrong. You do not need to take on the job of discovering what is wrong here. If there is an issue, your nanny needs to take control and figure out why she is not longer able to do her job. You can care about her as a person, but you are her employer, not her BFF or her mom. |
Anonymous
| Yea, time to cut ties. I work 56 hours a week with 3 under 3 and the infant is high needs plus I go to school full time. I haven't burnt out after 3 years and would think your position is a vacation compared to what I do. By the way, none of my three are in preschool, I homeschool the toddlers. She is clearly suffering from some medical condition or incompetent. Tell her the position isn't the right fit and she needs to start looking. |
Anonymous
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You definitely need a new nanny.
Give her plenty of notice but don't give severance. You need to replace her because she is doing a terrible job. Why give someone severance for doing a bad job? |
Anonymous
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Yes, it does sound like she is burned out. She also sounds like she is at a crossroads too.
On one hand she is burned out and overworked and should take it easy, yet on the other hand she truly cares for your children and also probably needs the income as well. So she is confused on which path to take here. However, her work ethic is suffering and that is not acceptable for any job. She needs to perform her job duties at the top of her game...Your children deserve nothing less and neither do you OP. I am a nanny and I ALWAYS give my best each and every day. No exceptions. I would have a serious talk with her ASAP. Let her know that she needs to decide what she wants to do. But if she decides to continue with your family, she will need to work on her work ethic. You know she is capable because you have seen how efficient she has been before. She needs to show up ON TIME and complete her responsibilities to the best of her abilities. She needs to come into work each and every day well-rested and prepared to give her all. Unless she can promise you that, then you will have no other choice but to find a replacement. |
Anonymous
ok no offense but you don't homeschool toddlers. they just aren't going to preschool |
Anonymous
| ^^ ??? "homeschooling toddlers" yeah that's called being a nanny not a babysitter. |
Anonymous
| !!! |