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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- 40-45 hours a week, with a 2.5 year old and a 1 year old with either me or someone else here to help with nap time.  She doesn't have any other duties most of the time -- I have family help with laundry and dishes and cooking.  I've worried about depression or a health issue.  She did mention that she was going to the doctor and asked for my ob's contact info.  But I've asked several times and I've said I can tell she's tired and not performing as well as she used to.  I can't pry much more than that.  It could also just be that when she worked with multiple small children in the past she was younger.  And, she's very caring and kind but not good at being firm and my son is 2.5.  So that's really difficult if you can't tell him no.  But we've talked about that over and over and I've done and said what I can.  I'm not saying it's an easy job.  Hell I'm their mom and sometimes I want to run away.  But I don't think it's particularly awful as far as nanny jobs go.  [/quote]

OP here -- I just wanted to add that we specifically chose a nanny over daycare b/c my husband travels for work and I wanted someone who could stay late or come early if need be.  As it turns out, that rarely happens and if I ask for it I am usually met with the stink eye.[/quote]

OP, another MB here.  I am so sorry to agree with others on this thread.  I think you need to think about a replacement.  You should find someone who can handle what you really need -- at least the ability to work overtime.  Many nannies would love such a setup, and there are many great nannies out there.

I'd sit down with your nanny and let her know that your life is hectic and you really need enough help to make things work.  You can give your nanny the options you gave -- either cut back her days, find another job, or go back to normal schedule (Which you hope if this a health problem or other temporary problem that can be resolved.)   LEt her know that while you love and greatly value her, if she can't select either option 1 or 3 (3 being within two weeks), you will need to look for a new nanny, but that you will be happy to give her a good reference and severance.

Then follow through and hold her to the terms.  Not because you are mean but because you respect her as any adult.  I know it's tough to have these conversations and I once had to have a conversation (about being late) with my current nanny.  But I am soo glad I did now.  It really cleared things up.  And while I love my nanny, if my nanny became like yours thinking about it, I'd have to look for another too.[/quote]

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