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[Post New]09/20/2013 12:26
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Anonymous
Lots of people are afraid of having boundaries.
[Post New]09/20/2013 12:38
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Anonymous
If you have been with them awhile then you should know by now their personal views on different aspects of society, politics and child rearing philosophy. If you can't gauge their reaction then you don't have a very close relationship with them, in which case I'd just keep it simple and just say your gf's name when you're asked about plans. Ther
[Post New]09/20/2013 12:59
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Anonymous
Op again. I already said I'm going to keep it my business. Not sure why people are being repetitive.
[Post New]09/20/2013 13:03
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a little overwhelmed by the negative responses here.

To answer some questions, I am in the DC metro area, have been with the family for a long time, and MB and I have a wonderful friendly relationship. I work very hard and adore the children and cannot imagine losing this job, so I'll just continue the way I have been going with this. I'll keep it my business.

And I'll reiterate. This is not about what I do in bed. This is about just being able to be honest in everyday conversation without having to make up silly little lies.

I'm "out" in every other aspect of my life, and so yeah, of course this bothers me.

A big THANK YOU to the progressive thinkers here, by the way!


I'm one of the negative responders. I'm only being honest with you to save you from heartache. You're making the right decision keeping things private. My only point is that your sexual orientation is none of their business and like it or not, sharing something like this could very well put you out of a job.


Op here. Thanks for clarification.
[Post New]09/20/2013 13:43
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Not everyone feels the same way. I think our manny may be bi, but am not sure. I would never ask. We'd like him just the same no matter who he's attracted to, and he'd be welcome to answer our child honestly.

You need to know your audience. Unfortunately some people have objections to and are afraid of lifestyles different from their own.


No need to wonder, your manny's definitely gay
[Post New]09/20/2013 14:33
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op again. I already said I'm going to keep it my business. Not sure why people are being repetitive.


Well, excuuuuse people for responding to YOUR post! Geesh. (NP here)

Good luck in whatever you choose to do; Although I do not agree with homosexuality and can't condone the actual act of two same-sex people being together (sexually, etc), I would base my opinion on you as a person, a human being. Even if we don't see eye-to-eye, there would be no reason for me to fire you (as long as we were otherwise in a happy and satisfactory work relationship), or in the case of just life in general, there would be no reason for me to NOT be your friend/stop hanging out with you, etc.

It's the person that matters, not her decisions regarding her own personal life--this affects others in her life minimally, if at all.

[Post New]09/20/2013 14:41
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Seems like you're just itching to shout it from the rooftops. Keep it to yourself if you don't want to risk losing your job. It's not like you're not allowed to come out to your family


I cannot believe the ignorance of some of the PPs on this thread. If it were a male SO/husband, would it be something considered out of the ordinary to mention? No. So I'm not sure why you assume the OP is "itching" to come out to her employer.

OP - I like the idea of mentioning your SO in the context of your weekend plans but not specifying the nature of the relationship. It's a nice middle ground. I also think it's good advice to at some point be honest with your nanny family and ask them how they'd like you to handle the questions from the children. If they take offense to how you live your life, that's on them and you don't want to work for people who force you to hide who you are.
[Post New]09/20/2013 14:54
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seems like you're just itching to shout it from the rooftops. Keep it to yourself if you don't want to risk losing your job. It's not like you're not allowed to come out to your family


I cannot believe the ignorance of some of the PPs on this thread. If it were a male SO/husband, would it be something considered out of the ordinary to mention? No. So I'm not sure why you assume the OP is "itching" to come out to her employer.

OP - I like the idea of mentioning your SO in the context of your weekend plans but not specifying the nature of the relationship. It's a nice middle ground. I also think it's good advice to at some point be honest with your nanny family and ask them how they'd like you to handle the questions from the children. If they take offense to how you live your life, that's on them and you don't want to work for people who force you to hide who you are.


+1

[Post New]09/20/2013 15:25
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, because if you were my nanny, I would not want you to discuss it with my children.


Agreed. Keep it to yourself. It is YOUR private life and you do not need to inflict your lifestyle choice on those children.


If you think she chose this lifestyle you are indeed ignorant.


There have been studies that some choose this lifestyle and yes some people will not accept it. The ones who are Christians and read the bible in which it states "that man and man shall not lie together nor a woman and woman or man and beast." If her SO was an animal would you be so blase about it? Some people think it is wrong and they are entitled to their opinion. If they physically attack them then that is a matter of law but an opinion is allowed.
[Post New]09/20/2013 15:45
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nannydebsays

Member Offline
PP, do you blindly follow ALL the rules found in the bible? For example, you don't eat (or even touch) pork, right? Because all that cloven-hoved uncleanliness is BAD!

In any case, I thought you might need these rules, so that you follow everything exactly to the letter and don't get on God's bad side.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/07/13-things-the-bible-forbids_n_1327701.html
[Post New]09/20/2013 15:54
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Anonymous
I'm an MB who doesn't think my 4 year old is ready to understand same sex relationships. When he is older I would like to be the one to explain to him about different types of families and loving everyone while also teaching him our family's view about what kind of relationships we feel are appropriate and why. I would have no problem if I found out my nanny was gay and I would not want her to feel like she has to lie to keep a job. I think if the kids are asking lots of questions about your personal life and you have a hard time being honest, but vague, then you need to bring it up to MB and ask how she would like it handled. I would be upset with my nanny if she took on my son's first exposure to the whole idea of "some men love women and some women love women," etc. If you are a good nanny I hope you would understand that and not be offended or think I am attacking your lifestyle.
[Post New]09/20/2013 16:44
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB who doesn't think my 4 year old is ready to understand same sex relationships. When he is older I would like to be the one to explain to him about different types of families and loving everyone while also teaching him our family's view about what kind of relationships we feel are appropriate and why. I would have no problem if I found out my nanny was gay and I would not want her to feel like she has to lie to keep a job. I think if the kids are asking lots of questions about your personal life and you have a hard time being honest, but vague, then you need to bring it up to MB and ask how she would like it handled. I would be upset with my nanny if she took on my son's first exposure to the whole idea of "some men love women and some women love women," etc. If you are a good nanny I hope you would understand that and not be offended or think I am attacking your lifestyle.

I'm glad you have decided what your son is allowed to think is "appropriate"...but no judgement, right?
[Post New]09/20/2013 16:48
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB who doesn't think my 4 year old is ready to understand same sex relationships. When he is older I would like to be the one to explain to him about different types of families and loving everyone while also teaching him our family's view about what kind of relationships we feel are appropriate and why. I would have no problem if I found out my nanny was gay and I would not want her to feel like she has to lie to keep a job. I think if the kids are asking lots of questions about your personal life and you have a hard time being honest, but vague, then you need to bring it up to MB and ask how she would like it handled. I would be upset with my nanny if she took on my son's first exposure to the whole idea of "some men love women and some women love women," etc. If you are a good nanny I hope you would understand that and not be offended or think I am attacking your lifestyle.

I'm glad you have decided what your son is allowed to think is "appropriate"...but no judgement, right?


Wow.. It is HER son, not yours and she has every right to decide what is right for her son and what is not. She may decide that she wants to expose her sons to only certain things at a certain age. You can be gay all you want but there is no need to force your devil may care attitude on others. People are ALLOWED to have an opinion twit.
[Post New]09/20/2013 16:49
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB who doesn't think my 4 year old is ready to understand same sex relationships. When he is older I would like to be the one to explain to him about different types of families and loving everyone while also teaching him our family's view about what kind of relationships we feel are appropriate and why. I would have no problem if I found out my nanny was gay and I would not want her to feel like she has to lie to keep a job. I think if the kids are asking lots of questions about your personal life and you have a hard time being honest, but vague, then you need to bring it up to MB and ask how she would like it handled. I would be upset with my nanny if she took on my son's first exposure to the whole idea of "some men love women and some women love women," etc. If you are a good nanny I hope you would understand that and not be offended or think I am attacking your lifestyle.


See, I don't fully get this. Your response says to me that you want to be the one to explain it because you want to teach your kids it's not appropriate (I read between the lines there). Which is fine - I don't agree with it, but your life, your kids, whatever.

But doesn't a nanny (presumably working full-time and spending 40 hours/week dealing with your child's natural curiosity) handle your child's first exposure to a lot of things? But this one in particular would bother you? Women love women and men love women is not an "idea," it's the truth and your child is going to be exposed to it in his everyday life.

Little kids don't need to "understand" same sex relationships - it's not complex to them any more than an opposite sex relationship. They're not aware of all of the controversy surrounding it. Children are naturally tolerant and accepting. It's only the adults and society around them who teach them not to be. I'm straight, btw.
[Post New]09/20/2013 16:49
quote
Anonymous
nannydebsays wrote:PP, do you blindly follow ALL the rules found in the bible? For example, you don't eat (or even touch) pork, right? Because all that cloven-hoved uncleanliness is BAD!

In any case, I thought you might need these rules, so that you follow everything exactly to the letter and don't get on God's bad side.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/07/13-things-the-bible-forbids_n_1327701.html


Again it is someone elses opinion. You may think being gay is fine but others do not like or endorse that alternate life style. Go and be gay all you want but do not force it on others. I am SO glad you are not my nanny and hope you do not work with kids and show them such a corrupting life style.
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