Would reduce your nanny's bonus for this? RSS feed

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nanny no doubt feels she's been underpaid. Did op disclose the pay rate?


No she didn't, but even if it was a low rate, the nanny always has the option of accepting or declining a position, right?

Sure. Maybe she felt sorry for the kid having to get used to a new nanny again. I'd still fire her right now.
Anonymous
Yes, DEFINITELY reduce the bonus and make sure you leave a (polite) note letting her know you deducted the amount she would have received had she not taken extra hours on your dime.

She is taking you for granted and probably figures she has nothing to lose. Don't let her play you for a fool. Smile then deduct so she learns something from this.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This stuff is unreal to me. OP, are you "educated"?


What do you not understand???

I don't understand how parents leave their children with a person they don't know.


Wth? Your irrelevant and make no sense.. Go away..
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She's about to have a baby and is getting all of the money she can. Honestly, it's not the RIGHT thing to do, but I don't think she has evil intentions. She might do the cleaning etc super fast (I mean, you clearly thought she HAS been cleaning for those 2 hours, right?) and then go to another job for a few.

Also, are you 100% certain?


Ofcourse her intentions aren't evil but they are self serving and obviously the nanny knows it's wrong hence the reason she is keeping it to herself and OP found out behind her back.. She isn't appreciating her position and is milking it for every cent but only putting in half the effort. Nannies like this give others a bad name.
Anonymous
OP - I can see why you would just let this slide for the remaining time, and I think it's very generous of you to consider any type of bonus.

But, I just want to make the case for talking to her now - especially in the light of the long positive relationship you've had with her. If it's possible to clear the air at all you can at least enjoy the remaining weeks (maybe) without constantly resenting what she's doing, worrying about what else she might be up to, etc... Also, I absolutely agree w/ others that the other family needs to know. Maybe she's been "stealing time" from them in ways also - perhaps in her head even to offset what she's doing in the afternoon.

But no matter what, wouldn't you rather end on an honest note? And if you can clear the air now perhaps there is a way to restore some bit of the relationship you have had with her - 5 years is a long time to have the relationship end this way. So sad. Totally her fault of course - what she's done is completely unacceptable. I just think I would find it very hard to continue to live w/ her in our home knowing this was going on but not saying/doing anything about it.

Glad you have another nanny lines up. If you decided to end the relationship early and have the other nanny start sooner than planned I think that be totally defensible also. This nanny has seriously disrespected her relationship with you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Nanny no doubt feels she's been underpaid. Did op disclose the pay rate?


No, she stayed for 5+ years so obviously she wasn't too upset with the rate.. Some people just like stealing or doing the least amount of work and expecting the full pay. Many nannies (and people in general) lie, cheat and steal just because they think they can get away with it so OP's pay rate is irrelevant.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nanny no doubt feels she's been underpaid. Did op disclose the pay rate?


No, she stayed for 5+ years so obviously she wasn't too upset with the rate.. Some people just like stealing or doing the least amount of work and expecting the full pay. Many nannies (and people in general) lie, cheat and steal just because they think they can get away with it so OP's pay rate is irrelevant.

It's a shame that the evil mbs don't always get the evil nannies that they deserve.

It's a shame when good people are taken advantage of.

OP, have you spoken with her yet?
Anonymous
This is OP. We are 100% certain this is going on; if we say nothing, it will presumably continue to go on for the next two months.

I haven't spoken with her as of now. Yesterday is a good example of why. She did everything we asked of her: Picked up something I needed that was out of her way before she got the kids from school. Made a big, healthy dinner from scratch for the whole family. Made sure the kids did their homework, practiced their instruments and played a game with them. Tidied the kids' rooms and play area.

It's hard to approach her and have this discussion when, for the most part, she is doing a good job. If she were going to be with us for another year, I absolutely would. Just not sure how it will help when the time remaining is so short.
nannydebsays

Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:This is OP. We are 100% certain this is going on; if we say nothing, it will presumably continue to go on for the next two months.

I haven't spoken with her as of now. Yesterday is a good example of why. She did everything we asked of her: Picked up something I needed that was out of her way before she got the kids from school. Made a big, healthy dinner from scratch for the whole family. Made sure the kids did their homework, practiced their instruments and played a game with them. Tidied the kids' rooms and play area.

It's hard to approach her and have this discussion when, for the most part, she is doing a good job. If she were going to be with us for another year, I absolutely would. Just not sure how it will help when the time remaining is so short.


"Hi nanny. We wanted to talk with you to let you know that we appreciate all the hard work you're doing for our family each day. The fact that your "to do" list is completed nearly 100% of the time is terrific. One thing we do need to discuss is that we have found out that you are scheduling yourself to work for another family during times you have committed to work for us. Is there a particular reason that you are double booking yourself?"

Then I would ask:

"How do you think we should handle this issue? We obviously are not happy that we have been paying you to spend time working for other people, but we value you and the time you have spent with our family and we feel the need to resolve this so that it doesn't negatively impact the last few months you spend with us."

And then take the discussion from there. You aren't attacking her, you are asking a perfectly reasonable question while emphasizing how pleased you have always been with her work ethic, and how sad you are to have found out about the "double billing". If she doesn't need all the time she spends with your family to do the work she has to do, offer to reduce her hours OR increase her work load so that she can stay busy.
Anonymous
Since you are satisfied with her job performance, why rock the boat for the next two months? On her last day, let her say goodbye to the children and then ask to speak to her privately. Tell her that you found out that she has been double-billing since January and, instead of deducting it from her final paycheck, you will consider the $800 to be her goodbye gift from your family for the five years of service. She needs to learn that her dishonesty has negative consequences for her.
Anonymous
What about just in passing ask her if she's been leaving early occasionally. It gives her a just to own up and say yes. this doesn't
seem about the money but you feeling deceived.

Has she maybe been filming in early to make up for it?
Or working extra hard to get everything done?
Could she have been asked by the other family to helpand if she Is she staying with the other amily post baby and trying to keep you you happy out of loyalty and keep the other family happy because its a future job?

Not that its okay but I think some sort of reasoning or ownership for it would make you feel better.
Anonymous
Since you are satisfied with her job performance, why rock the boat for the next two months? On her last day, let her say goodbye to the children and then ask to speak to her privately. Tell her that you found out that she has been double-billing since January and, instead of deducting it from her final paycheck, you will consider the $800 to be her goodbye gift from your family for the five years of service. She needs to learn that her dishonesty has negative consequences for her.



This. You should also tell her that you will be obligated to give honest future references which would include this situation.
Anonymous
I am interested to know how you found out? Cams?
Maybe she is staying after the kids are in school to do it then or at a different time?? Just something to consider! I always try to give benifits of the doubt. Esp if you have had a good relationship for so long. You could ask if you could meet her right during the time of cleaning and see what she says?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am interested to know how you found out? Cams?
Maybe she is staying after the kids are in school to do it then or at a different time?? Just something to consider! I always try to give benifits of the doubt. Esp if you have had a good relationship for so long. You could ask if you could meet her right during the time of cleaning and see what she says?


Why do you need to know this? OP said she was sure.
Anonymous
Think about what would happen in your office if an hourly employee punched in and then went out to a two hour lunch on a regular daily basis. She would be fired for stealing.
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