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Proportionally he makes more money and my job requires more work hours of related child care. Sharing an au pair has not proven feasible— my au pair is as flexible as they come. It’s just not a good enough peaceful relationship between parents for any au pair to have to go between. Hence my question—- anyone else had 50/50’custody but the one parent that made less $$ used a non shared au pair (or other more expensive child care than the other parent)? If yes— How was that calculated? Thanks all
Nanny here. It depends on what you both agree to in the contract. Not everyone has off federal holidays (Doctors,nurses etc ) but yes it should be paid time and half
$32hr with 3-5 paid sick days everything else looks great
Anonymous wrote:OP here let me clear some things up. My two oldest are school aged so they're always sniffling then they passed it to the baby who's with her ten hours daily. Yes, she caught the flu from us I can admit that. Yes she is reliable or she would've been long gone. The entire household got sick and when my husband and I couldn't care for the kids because we caught the flu she stepped in that's her job. My issue is after three days she should be coming around we were up out of bed after two days. We both have to work. I can't wait around a week without childcare. Yes we paid her.
OP, different people have different immunity levels so yes while you recovered fast she may need a week or more to get better. Your nanny seems to have a weaker system so consider for the long-term if she is going to be a good fit. This won't be the first time your kids catch something from school. You can't be in a childcare job if you are getting sick often and it's not good for your nanny's health either.
And she can work in his home but sleep at yours if she is that uncomfortable.
Find an AP that will work with both of you. It happens frequently.
It is about reducing chaos for your child.
It is about reducing chaos for your child.
Anonymous wrote:OP here let me clear some things up. My two oldest are school aged so they're always sniffling then they passed it to the baby who's with her ten hours daily. Yes, she caught the flu from us I can admit that. Yes she is reliable or she would've been long gone. The entire household got sick and when my husband and I couldn't care for the kids because we caught the flu she stepped in that's her job. My issue is after three days she should be coming around we were up out of bed after two days. We both have to work. I can't wait around a week without childcare. Yes we paid her.
You should give her the paid time off plus a bonus for coming in when everyone was sick to care for you all. Different people react differently to illnesses. You sound terrible.
Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, if we share an au pair, it’s just not realistic because he will be too demanding on her and the au pair is not comfortable. I’ve been there done that. My au pair is OK working just for me in my home and loves my kids and living in my home. She does not want to be working in his home following his directions.
Your, home, your child care, he’s not using it, you pay. How is this an issue?
You either use his child care and work it out with him or you 100% pay for yours. Why should he pay for your child care? Are you willing to pay for his equally?
Anonymous wrote:OP here let me clear some things up. My two oldest are school aged so they're always sniffling then they passed it to the baby who's with her ten hours daily. Yes, she caught the flu from us I can admit that. Yes she is reliable or she would've been long gone. The entire household got sick and when my husband and I couldn't care for the kids because we caught the flu she stepped in that's her job. My issue is after three days she should be coming around we were up out of bed after two days. We both have to work. I can't wait around a week without childcare. Yes we paid her.
Unfortunately this is the mentality of many parents. You need to let her get well she did nothing wrong but continue to work in your home while your entire family came down with the flu. To some that can be dangerous but she did it selflessly the least you can do is let her get well and hire back up care.
Unfortunately, if we share an au pair, it’s just not realistic because he will be too demanding on her and the au pair is not comfortable. I’ve been there done that. My au pair is OK working just for me in my home and loves my kids and living in my home. She does not want to be working in his home following his directions.
I don’t want to share an au pair. My question is who out there has not shared an au pair and had 50-50 custody or something like that. Where your choice of care is an au pair and your ex child care is something else, for their days. Was your ex responsible to pay a slightly higher amount to help you with your child care? Since your job required more care? And how was that calculated? I can make that case that mine requires more hourly care—- think of a doctor On Call. I need more hour coverage than him for his wfh job, even if we have 50/50 custody.
$35 hourly.
OP here let me clear some things up. My two oldest are school aged so they're always sniffling then they passed it to the baby who's with her ten hours daily. Yes, she caught the flu from us I can admit that. Yes she is reliable or she would've been long gone. The entire household got sick and when my husband and I couldn't care for the kids because we caught the flu she stepped in that's her job. My issue is after three days she should be coming around we were up out of bed after two days. We both have to work. I can't wait around a week without childcare. Yes we paid her.
Anonymous wrote:Is she generally reliable otherwise? In this field you will see a lot of “I’m never sick Nannies” but the reality is most of them use a lot of days off because many of us are desperate for safe and reliable childcare. We haven’t gone on a single vacation for the past 2 years because of our nanny and her random sick days/time off needed. I save all my leave to accommodate her schedule, and with child care being what it is in this country that’s just reality.
You can fire the nanny but it’s just easier to deal with her drama until the kids are in school. That’s my 2 cents. And before the Nannies start bashing me, I pay $31 an hour for this Luxury service, provide a car and stipend for insurance. I’m not comfortable with a revolving door of help; so we are where we are. She is very good with the kids, so I appreciate her dedication in that regard.
You honestly could've kept your "two cents" in your pocket. It's so easy to attack "the help" when most of you moms act like you can't lift a finger. No one's going to bash you, YOU bashed YOU by leaving such an asinine response. She clearly said "her kids got the nanny sick" so explain how is the nanny drama? Also you boasted about what you pay like you're doing your nanny a favor, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR SERVICES PROVIDED. YUCK!! The funny part about all of this is the majority of the parents that get on here to bash the women that help run their households would never be so bold in person. We are not all timid and weak and afraid to stand up for ourselves those days are long gone. It is simple if you have a good childcare provider who cares for your children like they're her own treat her kindly and if your Rugrats got her sick then let her get well with PAY. What if she comes out in that deadly cold weather we've been experiencing already sick as can be and her flu gets worse or turns to pnuemonia and she ends up in the hospital or dead all because she can't afford to lose the job that got her sick in the first place then what?! Oh I know you get to replace her. Nannies need to continue standing on business when working for people like you and OP at the end of the day no job cares and no job is worth your health and life.
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