Message
How much do you hate your children to not care to pay the person actually raising them a basic, livable wage?
I personally think that parents do not like it when their Nannie’s give presents to their children, they may feel it is just intrusive and that it goes above boundaries.
While it was very generous of you to do so, like others stated your Xmas presents were likely regifted due to the parents feeling put out.
I would refrain from giving your charges presents in the future.
While it was very generous of you to do so, like others stated your Xmas presents were likely regifted due to the parents feeling put out.
I would refrain from giving your charges presents in the future.
They regifted them lol
Some parents don’t like toys and while they were thankful they prob re-gifted or put them away. You were too nice and thoughtful to bring them gifts and I’d not ask. Is absolutely their choice to do what you want with their belongings/toys.
They probably regifted them or put them away for another time because they got an overwhelming number of gifts for their kids. It's legal - once you give someone a gift you have no control over what they do with it.
I’d passively aggressively ask.
Assuming you read to the 1yo before nap I think Goodnight moon is good for that. You could ask if they’ve seen it.
I used to keep some favorite kids books in the car so assuming you know they’re not there I’d ask.
Assuming you read to the 1yo before nap I think Goodnight moon is good for that. You could ask if they’ve seen it.
I used to keep some favorite kids books in the car so assuming you know they’re not there I’d ask.
Girl they threw it away or maybe the kids hid their toys, either way don't internalize this just do your job. Parents can be very weird about giving their children gifts.
* Thank you card, not gift.
For Christmas, I gifted both of my charges (B3/G1) lovely Christmas presents.
For the boy I gave him a Bluey stuffed animal along with a storybook as he loves Bluey and already has a lot of different Bluey toys/books/etc.
For the girl, I gifted a stuffed animal along with a popular children’s book (Goodnight Moon.)
Well the children unwrapped their presents and truly loved receiving them while their parents thanked me profusely and gave me a nice Thank You gift back.
Funny thing is - since then I have not seen either toy out for them to play with.
I am embarrassed to ask the parents where the toys are but I am curious as to what ever became of them.
WWYD?
For the boy I gave him a Bluey stuffed animal along with a storybook as he loves Bluey and already has a lot of different Bluey toys/books/etc.
For the girl, I gifted a stuffed animal along with a popular children’s book (Goodnight Moon.)
Well the children unwrapped their presents and truly loved receiving them while their parents thanked me profusely and gave me a nice Thank You gift back.
Funny thing is - since then I have not seen either toy out for them to play with.
I am embarrassed to ask the parents where the toys are but I am curious as to what ever became of them.
WWYD?
You may be use to your husband throwing tantrums when he doesn’t get his way but for your staff it’s scary.
I’ve quit on the spot when working with dads who think the appropriate response to frustration is to yell.
I don’t care if it’s not even aimed at me. I won’t work in that kind of household and neither will many other nannies.
Keep that in mind. If that’s your home dynamic so be it. Won’t be my work dynamic.
I’ve quit on the spot when working with dads who think the appropriate response to frustration is to yell.
I don’t care if it’s not even aimed at me. I won’t work in that kind of household and neither will many other nannies.
Keep that in mind. If that’s your home dynamic so be it. Won’t be my work dynamic.
Anonymous wrote:anyone making the nanny work there? If she is forced to do it, its akin to human trafficking. If she is not forced to work there, then she is happy with what she is getting, she can always leave and work somewhere else.
The most naive take. Or you’re trying to assuage your own guilt because you also pay illegally and pitifully low. If not, you’re missing the huge power imbalance. In this situation the power is more unfairly balanced than in a typical employer/employee relationship. Isn’t this obvious? I guess not. Lots of people are missing the obvious in the country.
anyone making the nanny work there? If she is forced to do it, its akin to human trafficking. If she is not forced to work there, then she is happy with what she is getting, she can always leave and work somewhere else.
Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s time for her yearly review. Hopefully you didn’t just give her a raise already? (If you think it’s possible she’ll quit if you don’t give her more money and lots of praise, start a search now for a new nanny.)
You ask her to meet with you to discuss the past year and what the expectations are moving forward. You then serve her a poop sandwich. First, tell her that you appreciate XYZ that she does. Next, discuss the areas that need improvement and be clear about your expectations. I’d choose the 3 biggest problems that drive you craziest. Once you’ve course corrected her, close with, “I want you to succeed in this job. We will meet again in 3 months, the week of (dates), and do another review. At that point, if you are meeting expectations we can discuss a small raise and schedule our next 3 month review.”
If she pitches a huge fit, tell her that she seems unwilling to try to improve and let her go. Get all your stuff from her, make sure she takes all her stuff, and show her the door.
If she shapes up, give her a small raise. If f she doesn’t shape up, let her know that she’s now on probation and if there isn’t significant improvement the next week you’ll be letting her go for cause.
People are out here hiring nannies they think might “pitch a huge fit” over anything at all? Wow, no wonder you end up complaining that your nanny is immature. If I thought there was even a chance of a grown adult in my employ “pitching a huge fit” they’d be gone before we ever reached where you have ended up. That’s insane. Hire a real nanny who would never “pitch a fit.” Do you realize how absurd that sounds? You’re not hiring professionals if you have this concern. Straight up. The thought of my child’s nanny “pitching a huge fit” is so funny to me, because it would never, ever happen. She’s also not 20 because I’m not a fool.
OP - what did you end up doing?
And underpaying the nanny and her getting section 8 mean that we are ALL forced into subsidizing your “sister’s” childcare. Disgusting.
Anonymous wrote:^^ I have to strongly disagree with the above response.
If her Nannie is working off the books (illegally) then she cannot demand to be paid minimum wage.
Many families pay less than minimum wage when paying under the table.
I personally don’t know any Nannie’s who are working under the table that are being paid minimum wage or higher.
Most are making less than minimum wage.
Yes…because they are being taken advantage of. I cannot believe the replies here. OP - your sister is trash and so is her “nanny.” They’re both dishonest and breaking the law and I hope they both get caught. And I also think “sister” is code for YOU. Who would want a nanny scamming the government? An “employer” who is also a scammer. Great match. Neither should be around children, much less teaching a child anything. Morally bankrupt people.
|