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I would think any agency that wanted to guarantee that THEY would get their placement fee would choose to do a credit check on the families that hire them. It's not like nanny agencies are pure profit businesses and can afford to work with families that are deadbeats.

Whether they would share any info with nannies...I doubt they would. If a family was truly awful risk, the agency might just choose not to work with them.

Having been burned badly by a family in the past BECAUSE I let my love for the kids blind me to all the signs that there were issues, here are some suggestions:

Add a clause in your contract that specifies when your paycheck is due, and WHAT the penalty is for the family if they don't pay you on time. Things like late fees, coverage of any and all overdraft fees resulting from unavailable pay, and a statement that nanny will not be at work the day after payday if her check is not in her bank ON payday.

(Fiscally responsible employers will sign off on this, because they have sufficient funds to ensure that they never ever screw up their nanny's pay.)

Second, never assume your job and pay check are secure. If you feel you need to allow one screw-up on your employers behalf, do so, but at the second screw-up be out there with your (constantly updated) resume package seeking new work with reliable employers.

(Don't let love of the kids keep you in a job when you are blatantly disrespected financially.)

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I'm surprised at the attacks on Nannydeb. While I'm not always on her side and have no problem telling her when I think she's wrong...this time, she is absolutely on point.

(Well, almost. Loading and unloading a dishwasher doesn't take 20 min.)

She is detailing exactly what a professional nanny does and if you want someone to wash adult laundry, fine. Hire a housekeeper. Stop assuming your nanny is lazy because she isn't a housekeeper.


LOL! Thanks to my bosses propensity to overload to the point that the dishwasher begs for mercy, it does take a while to unload, see what has to be re-washed, set that stuff aside, and then re-load. But probably 20 minutes is a bit too high.

And I know, other PP's, that nothing will change the opinions of those MB's who have laundress/housekeeper/nanny service all in one person. As I said above, it's just such an ODD thing to prioritize. I go grocery shopping and cook so my charges can eat. I run errands so they can have diapers and all those other helpful items.

Of course, some nannies refuse to do any groceries or Tagrget runs, so...
Sorry for the rambly thoughts...

I agree with the PP about seeing if you can do shorter hours as a rent exchange.

If that's not possible, then I do think you can find someone, but it'll be a bit of a process. IMO, your best bet will be to seek out someone who has cared for kids before, but doesn't have enough experience to find jobs as a nanny. That person needs solid long term references to make the move into nannying, and a job like your is a good fit for that. Many families, and most agencies want to hire nannies with experience.

If you find a college student, are you willing and able to be flexible with your needs to accommodate her classes/another job? If so, your search will be slightly easier.

If there are colleges near you that offer social work/psychology/education/nursing majors, you might contact them to see if they have job boards.

WRT compensation, I would offer $200 - $250/week, and see what sort of people respond to your ads. If you aren't happy with the quality of candidates, you might have to up the pay to attract better people. I wouldn't go above $300/week though.

You may need to think of this as being similar to having an au pair.

And yes, working hand-in-hand with you will put some people off the job right away. You need to think a bit about how you'll use your MH. Will you want her to take one child while you manage the other? Do you plan to "manage" her pretty continually? Do you want to train her and then let her do her thing, or do you want her right next to you when she is working? What job responsibilities will you want her to take on?

Write up a job description, and think about what you KNOW you want, what you THINK you want, and what's negotiable. That's the best way to clarify who and what you're looking for, and will allow you to write a clear and concise ad when the time comes.
Is this job through a reputable agency?

If so, have they (the agency) told you specifically what rules you will need to obey while living in the UAE? Are you comfortable with those rules?

Will the agency be assisting you in getting your visa/work permits in order?

Have you spoken face to face/directly in person with the former nanny? Have you asked her the questions you are asking here? What did she say?

What details do you know about the family? Are the expatriates living in Dubai? Are they citizens of Dubai/UAE? Have you spoken with THEIR references?

Have you come up with a plan for leaving if the job is not as represented?

To address your questions:

1) No, I would say that making you move to another room when company comes is not OK, especially if they have a larger home. It shows a disrespect for your privacy.

2) No, I think they should provide your meals, and if you want something outside of their normal fare then you might need to buy that yourself. (Assuming that you can freely walk to a market without being accompanied by a man...)

3) While I think employers asking to meet their LI caregiver's friends is normal, I think the questions I asked above would need to be answered for me to offer an opinion on this issue..
Anonymous wrote:
I don't do their laundry, make their beds, vacuum their entire house, or dust. If an employer were to ask me to take on those tasks, it would cost them about $400 more per week.

I do load/empty the dishwasher, take out kitchen and diaper trash, do all the cooking for my charges, do family groceries and errands, vacuum the main living/play area every other week, do kid laundry, organize toys/outgrown clothes, etc.


I wouldn't hire you because the tasks that you list don't take much time at all. My kids nap for at least 3.5 hours every afternoon. This is 12.5 hours a week on top of a daily one hour break. It takes 10 minutes to unload the dishwasher. Kid laundry is not a daily task and no one needs someone organizing outgrown clothes more than a few times a year. You are just being dishonest trying to claim that any of these things add up to actual work.

I pay our nanny a reasonable rate which may or may not be more than your rate + 400 to actually do something during nap time. Luckily, my nanny has a good work ethic which I think is the real probably with so many nannies on this site. You have no work ethic. You only want to maximize your downtime or expect some extra compensation to get yourself off the couch. You will not go far with this approach.


Yes, you got me. The 8+ hours a week** I spend on the listed tasks are in no way "real work", and I obviously shouldn't expect to make it as a nanny. Darn, and I was almost at the 20 year mark too!

**load/empty dishwasher - 20 mins - daily - 100 min/week
Trash duty - 5 mins - daily - 25/week
Cooking for my charges - 40 mins - daily (sample menu: grilled chicken, risotto, roasted cauliflower, steamed broccoli, clementines) - 200/week
Vacuum - 20 mins -bi-weekly - 10/week
Laundry - 20 mins - twice a week - 8/week
Family groceries - 2 hours - weekly - 120/week
Family Errands - 1 hour - weekly - 60/week
General tidying and picking up toys - 20 mins - daily
Anonymous wrote:on a side note tho, i would feel annoyed if i asked my nanny to switch over my laundry (start a load hamper to washer, or washer to dryer) and they told me they were disgusted by this. i would do it for you if you asked me to!


I did ALL family laundry, including cloth diapers for 2 kids, in my first job nearly 20 years ago. Maybe I should have picked a better descriptor than "disgusting", but my reasoning is this: I don't want to know if MB prefers thongs or boy shorts, I don't want to know if Db prefers boxers or briefs, and I just don't want to handle someone else's dirty laundry.

That said, if my bosses leave a clean load in the washer, I'll put it in the dryer and then in a laundry basket in their room. I know nannies IRL who won't even do that, so I don't feel like a terrible lazy nanny who, as I believe a PP said, "only wants to do what's fun for me". Trust me, taking the toddler to do full grocery shopping each week is NOT the most fun I could have. But I do it, because it's a part of the job I agreed to do.

I am a little baffled that some PP's would (apparently) not hire a nanny who won't wash their clothes and linens for them. To my mind, that's kind of the LAST thing a parent should care about when it comes to their childcare provider, but...
Anonymous wrote:"But if she wants to keep her nanny, she'll need to do something to make the job appealing despite the LACK of future significant raises. "

really???? There are tons of FT jobs paying $21/hr for kids who are at a more self-sufficient age? hmm! encouraging news for job seeking nannies! I'll admit there are some, but i would think OP's nanny would be hard pressed to replicate her situation if OP is offering her FT hrs.


Oooo, sarcasm! So you'd be OK with never getting another raise at all in your job if your responsibilities were slightly reduced, even though generally COL continues to increase?

All OP needs to do to make the job appealing is to offer 1 or 2 "free days" when the kids are in school (IOW, nanny is free to do her own thing for 6 hours, as long as she is "on-call" in case of sudden illness). Nannies who work 50+ hours a week have to use PTO to go see their doctor or dentist. A job without raises but WITH free time one day a week when the kids are in school would be fantastic!

One of my nanny friends has worked for the same family for 12+ years. She stopped getting raises when both kids were in full day school. She started getting a few hours "on call" during the school year, which gradually increased over the years. Her employers actually crunched the numbers when the "free time" started, and found that thanks to school vacations, teacher workdays, school holidays, and summer break, my friend initially got 4 "free hours" a week on average as an exchange for no raise. Nice, but not exactly 20 hours a week free every single week.
Anonymous wrote:Its crazy to hire a nanny with nannydeb's attitude. As an employer, I get to choose the job responsibilities and qualifications for the position I am offering. I will not pay someone with a bad attitude to sit around doing nothing for 2-4 hours a day. Moms don't need someone who will simply keep herself entertained or stay busy doing random things. Moms need someone who will care for the kids and take care of light housekeeping as they would do if they were home. When my nanny goes on vacation, I follow the same routine doing non-child related tasks during nap time too. It makes no sense to sit in front of the television for hours everyday and then do everything late at night or on weekends. I can't imagine spending an hour after the kids go to bed and I finish working on-line to do the upkeep light housekeeping so a lazy nanny can be paid to do nothing all day.

I had no problem finding many qualified candidates who are NANNIES not just housekeepers. I also do not know anyone with a nanny who does not have them do some level of light housekeeping in addition to child related chores and activities.


You must have missed the long list of things I do that qualify as light housekeeping?

As a potential employee, I get to choose NOT to deal with a potential employer's dirty laundry. I will not work for a grown adult who cannot comprehend that touching their unmentionables is disgusting to me for several reasons. I'll do a lot of things, and I have done a lot of things that qualify as light housekeeping, household management, and even personal assistant work, but I draw the line at heavy housework and adult laundry. And, remarkably, I still find work.
OP, just to clarify: when I said
...if you don't need her to work for you 1 or 2 days a week, let her have that time off for her own stuff, unless there is an emergency or the kids are out of school.
I meant that your nanny would come in and do the AM and PM shift as normal, but then the time your kids are in school would be her own.

Anonymous wrote:Geez, your nanny has it made. Nannydeb is unbelievable. Yes, you should give the nanny full pay but agree to only have her work 3 days out of the five that she is working. If you expect her to open the door for a vendor while she is being paid then you should give her a slight raise or a few mini spa days. Yes, getting your ass off the couch is really a lot of work that needs to be well rewarded.


I'll accept that my wording was poor in the "days off" suggestion, but I believe I also used "or" (household management issues) and "and" (additional perks) to indicate the OP could choose from among the numerous suggestions I made. Or the OP can ignore me.

Obviously, PP, the OP is not going to give a raise, give additional PTO time off, and give bunches of perks. That would be idiotic. But if she wants to keep her nanny, she'll need to do something to make the job appealing despite the LACK of future significant raises.
And on the housekeeping thing:

I don't clean up after adults who are perfectly capable of managing for themselves. I don't do their laundry, make their beds, vacuum their entire house, or dust. If an employer were to ask me to take on those tasks, it would cost them about $400 more per week.

I do load/empty the dishwasher, take out kitchen and diaper trash, do all the cooking for my charges, do family groceries and errands, vacuum the main living/play area every other week, do kid laundry, organize toys/outgrown clothes, etc.

Sure, you can find a housekeeper who will clean up after adults and make sure your kids don't die on her watch, or you can hire an actual nanny and a housekeeping service.
I think at this point you talk to her about her increasing down-time being her "raise". IOW, if you don't need her to work for you 1 or 2 days a week, let her have that time off for her own stuff, unless there is an emergency or the kids are out of school. You'll basically be cutting her hours yet keeping her pay the same.

As a nanny, that's a deal I would gladly take if I wanted to stay with a family when all the kids were in school.

Or, you can talk to her about increasing her household management responsibilities (doing family meals, being available for vendors at your home, taking on other tasks you need done but find it hard to accomplish...) and keep giving small raises.

And adding additional perks is always welcome. Helping with health insurance costs, adding a gym membership, giving her a monthly mini-spa day...any of those things can stand in for $$ raises.
Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to figure out how we will calculate pay for a nanny if we have one child who is in school part time. Do we just offer a weekly rate that is slightly less than a normal 2-kid rate? Or do we offer one hourly rate for when there is one kid and another for when she'll have two kids? Any suggestions welcome. TIA!


If nanny will be the person responsible for the preschooler when: there's an illness, there's no school, there's early dismissal, etc. then just pay her for 2 kids. If YOU will be responsible for your preschooler when there is no school on a school day, then you can likely drop nanny's hourly by 50 cents.

Don't juggle 2 rates. It makes you seem cheap and it will turn nannies off. It will also make you nuts when you try to remember exact times nanny had 1 kid at $12/hour versus 2 kids at $14/hour.
Keep the nanny if you can, and ask her to do any "household tasks" that she now does with kids in tow while both kids are in school. Of course, if your nanny refuses to do laundry for the kids, errands, etc., then letting her go and finding a nanny who WILL do those chores is a good idea.

If your nanny does things like laundry, grocery shopping, etc., you will lose those services if nanny is gone, your life will become more hectic and you'll have less time to spend with your little ones.
I live and work (mostly from home, though I do have several meetings in DC each week) in Alexandria. I am expecting a baby girl around Feb. 1, and will go back to work 20 hrs/ week minimum in April. I am interested in hiring a nanny for 20-25 hours a week in our home, and I would like her to do light housework and engage with my child in stimulating talk and play. ( I'm an education consultant for early childhood so my standards are high!)

Can any mommies weigh in?


I'm a nanny, not a mom, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

1. What is the going rate in NoVA for what I described?


Not sure of NoVa rates, but generally speaking, PT nannies charge slightly more per hour than FT nannies, simply because it's difficult to find 2 PT jobs that mesh perfectly so that nanny can have a FT income. Two thoughts for you here:

1) Try to find another mom who needs PT hours that work with your needs. If you need 2 full days per week, seek out someone who needs 3 full days, etc.

2) Do your best to establish a solid schedule. You say you will be working 20 hours /week minimum. What does that mean? does that mean you will need nanny for 20 - 30+ hours, depending on your workload? If so, plan to hire nanny for the higher end of the hours you will need, because4 if she has a second job she's committed to, she won't be able to be flexible for you when needed.

2. How do I find someone good and qualified for this?


Network, network, network. If you go to any classes (birthing, breastfeeding, baby care), seek out other moms who live near you and need PT childcare. Seek out neighbors who have older kids and may not need a FT nanny anymore, and see if you can find a gem with a neighbor's good reference. Ask at your site of worship, at your office, at local playgrounds. Use the on-line sites, but make sure to do a HUGE amount of screening and reference checking, because in general their "background screening" is crap

3. I would like to hire someone on a trial basis of 3-4 months before committing.


Trial periods are generally 2 - 4 WEEKS. You'd have to find a very experienced nanny, who was aware of the issues new moms have with starting back to work and trusting their child to another for care, to have a chance at a nanny who'd agree to a 3 - 4 month trial. And frankly, you will KNOW within 2 - 4 weeks, or sooner, if you have the right person.

Any tips?


If you are going to be sharing a nanny to give her FT hours, you will want to do the following with your "share partners":

Envision your perfect nanny. What characteristics does she have? Write a good ad to post on-line. Be concise, but not brusque in your ad. Make the job appealing while making your expectations clear.

Define your job very specifically. What does "light housework" mean to you? Be ready to use a work agreement/contract that spells out job duties, employer and employee expectations, pay, benefits, etc. Consider offering benefits such as PTO based on your weekly hourly schedule.

Interview candidates via phone after you screen through the websites. Then interview in-person, and once you've narrowed your choices down to 2 or 3, ask them to come in for a trial day or two.

Remember that there is no perfect nanny, there is just the perfect nanny for YOU and your family.

Best of luck!
OP, I think you need to go back and negotiate on the wage, IF you can accept that you will have to manage your baby as if he/she is the third child in the family while you are at work.

That's just reality. You are adding a baby to the mix. Your baby will have to adapt to the current schedule and to the needs of your current charges. It won't be simple, but it can be done if you are able to cope with not putting your child first.

If you can't cope with your child being an addition to an established schedule, you should likely either find a new job with a family looking for newborn care and put your twin experience to work, or you should consider opening an in-home daycare or moving back to where you have family.
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