When does having a nanny become too expensive?
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Anonymous
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We have had a wonderful PT nanny watching our 2 kids for about a year. Prior to that we used daycare, but when our second was born, it became less expensive to pay a PT nanny than to pay FT daycare for an infant and young child and only use the hours we need--we were unable to find any place that offered PT care for an infant. For the time being, it is a great arrangement--we love our nanny, our younger child has rarely been sick the way our older one was, and life has been much easier without having to round everyone up and get out the door every morning. Looking forward, though, our older one will start kindergarten in the fall and our younger one will be 2, meaning that we could switch to 3 days/week of daycare for the younger one and school plus extended day for the older one.
We currently pay around $27K a year for around 30 hours a week of care, and would pay much less for 3 days a week of daycare plus extended day, but it would be much more of a hassle, and we'd also have to figure out some kind of alternate arrangement for covering the months our oldest would be out of school. And I'm a little worried about sending our older kid to kindergarten and having it be an all-day experience rather than easing him into the full school week over time. I'm wondering if anyone else has made this transition, and how it has worked out? At what ages did you start your kids in daycare and/or after school care after having a nanny? |
Anonymous
| You love the nanny, the kids love the nanny..keep the nanny full time. It is soooo much easier for you and them. Snow days, sick days, spring break, numerous teacher training days etc... It will pay off in the long run. Daycares have all sorts or extra fees and charge extra for weeks out of school. |
Anonymous
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Keep the nanny. I had to take my kids to the back-up daycare earlier this week because the nanny was sick and I had forgotten about what a hassle it is to get kids out of the house on time and loaded in the car. It re-affirmed my decision to keep my nanny even after my oldest goes to kindergarten next year. Plus, with sick days, snow days, summer, vacations, etc. there will still be a lot of time to account for even with the oldest in kindergarten.
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nannydebsays
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Member Offline
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Keep the nanny if you can, and ask her to do any "household tasks" that she now does with kids in tow while both kids are in school. Of course, if your nanny refuses to do laundry for the kids, errands, etc., then letting her go and finding a nanny who WILL do those chores is a good idea.
If your nanny does things like laundry, grocery shopping, etc., you will lose those services if nanny is gone, your life will become more hectic and you'll have less time to spend with your little ones. |
Anonymous
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Try to make your children your priority.
Would such a change really be the best thing for them? How attached are they to your current person? Breaking up these relationships should be avoided. |
Anonymous
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Wow, such supportive nannies on this thread.
OP, balancing the pros and cons will be difficult, and it's something only you can do. But your children will likely enjoy both scenarios in different ways- individual attention from a nanny vs greater opportunity to socialize with other children in preschool / aftercare. If you decide that having a nanny no longer fits into your family's life, don't let people on this board convince you that you are "making your children your priority." |
Anonymous
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"greater opportunity to socialize with other children in preschool / aftercare."
you know your own kids best, OP. Are they extroverts? Will they actually see the above as a plus? DD has been at same preschool for 1.5 years now. She's there most (not all) days. She is absolutely delighted on days she gets to leave before aftercare. She likes school - but does not really like being there all day long. The answer is so family-specific OP that no one else can tell you what is best (if you can afford it, obviously) and it also depends on your kids' personalities as well. |
Anonymous
You could probably stick with the nanny for another year but you will be back in the same decision place next year. I would not keep a 3 year old out of preschool in order to keep the nanny as the preschool experience is generally more valuable from a social and academic standpoint. You may also find that your older child will start doing sports on those 3 three days so you may or may not aftercare. Aftercare, unless they are at capacity, tends to be flexible letting you choose certain days each month. You will also find that your elementary school child will want to do camps if you live in area with very few SAHMs because no one else is at home to play with all day. The SAHMs around us also send their kids to camp, usually half day, so the kids have someone to do with other kids. A 2 year old can be happy playing all day with a nanny but not a 5 or 6 year old. They want to be around kids their own ages or have some activities to do. |
Anonymous
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OP here. I should clarify that even though our nanny works PT this consists of 3 long days each week, to match my work schedule--I am off the other days. There is no way that sports, camps, or any other activities would serve as child care for our oldest when he's 5--DH and I are gone from 6:30 AM until, best case scenario, 5:15 or so. It would be difficult even to find a day care that would take our younger one for the hours we need and to pick everyone up on time (factoring in travel time to 2 different locations). In our current arrangement the nanny drives our oldest to and from preschool so camps and/or morning preschool are an option going forward. I suspect that on paper it would cost less to do extended day for our older one, plus daycare for the younger, plus some hodgepodge that would cover school closures, sick days, and summer break--but as others have touched on I have misgivings about how that would affect all of us. I don't think we can have a nanny forever but since our younger one is not yet 2 I still feel like it's worth it going forward, and am not sure my older one is ready to be at school for 11 hours a day, 3 days a week next year. Thanks for your thoughts.
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Anonymous
| wow. 11 hrs. you do what you have to do, but I would try VERY VERY hard to avoid having to do that - ever. That is a very long day even for a 3 or 4 year old - long for ES age even so certainly for toddlers. |
Anonymous
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My answer to the original question:
...When stable and consistant child care is no longer the priority. I once heard the wise David Elkind say: "The best way the prepare children for life challenges, is to provide the most stable foundation, that you can." No more revolving nanny-door, please. |
Anonymous
OP your first post stated that you could put your 2 yr old in daycare and elementary school child in extended care 3 days a week. From your post above, it sounds like you can't find a daycare with hours 6:30-5:30 so I'm not sure what you are contemplating. Either it is an option or it isn't. In our area before care starts at 6:30 am. We can barely make it to the bus stop by 8:45 so we haven't done it but do know some families who do. Your kid's sleep patterns would be important if they need to be out of the house by 6:30 am. For after school, most elementary schools in our area let out at 3:30. Our 1st grade son does 2 sports and 1 extracurricular activity a week after school (activities are at the school) that run until 4:30: or 4:45. He then goes to aftercare for about 30 minutes to an hour until we pick him up at 5:30. I wouldn't choose a nanny over sports and it would be hard to find a nanny for one hour a day. |
Anonymous
| When you can't afford over $12 per hour and try to nickel and dime. |
Anonymous
| Also, when you can't afford raises or paid vacation. |
Anonymous
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"when you can't afford raises"
so it's better to fire a nanny if you can't afford to keep paying her more and more after several years and let her take her luck at finding another position at the same built-up rate? sure, that makes sense. If she's unhappy w/ no raises she can leave, but it's crazy for an MB to decide she should end the nanny if she can keep paying her the same rate but not ever increasing amounts, especially if she's been there for many years. |