Bringing child to work offer

[Anonymous]

So I am a nanny and my husband and I are expecting our first child in March. My boss has been great about everything and completely understands and supports me. She even lets me take my dr appointments during work hours while both the kids are in school. She has now offered to let me bring my baby to work with me after I return from my maternity leave in May. I was thinking this would be great. However, she noted that she would reduce my salary by around $600 per month. I currently get paid $13.25 per hour (in Arizona) for 50 hours per week. She wants to reduce my salary all the way down to $10 per hour once I come back to work as compensation for the benefit of bringing baby with me. She also made a point to say that she does not want her boys (ages 4 and 7) to have to work around the baby's schedule. Um okay? I am starting to wonder how practical it would be to bring my baby to a job with two school age kids. It seems it might be easier if I found a family with another infant. I have nannied for twin infants before, so that would not bother me. But do any of you think her offer is fair? My husband is not happy about it at all. He feels reducing my salary slightly would be fine, but as much as she is talking about seems extreme. I will be getting this so-called benefit but still have to make sure that her boys (who are more than capable of entertaining themselves on occasion) have my full, constant undivided attention while making my baby secondary and getting a huge pay cut on top of that. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I don't think the reduction she is offering you sounds that bad. Unless you had family watching your baby for free, you would most likely pay more than $600/month in childcare, so you're coming out on top. Not to mention the wonderful benefit of what seems to be an understanding boss (letting you go on appointments during work hours) allowing you to spend your workdays with your new baby. I'd say yes in a heartbeat! Juggling an infant with 2 school aged kids is easier to manage than 2 young infants in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP that the money sounds fine but the reality of scheduling is that you will have to treat your baby like a third child rather than a first. Lots of infants are subject to the schedules of their siblings, but as a first time parent will you be able to handle that? If your baby has trouble sleeping in a car seat/stroller/backpack, what will you do to ensure she's getting enough rest? I just think the mom's attitude is completely understandable (a baby can run the show, if allowed) but would make me very uncomfortable. I think if you can come around to understanding the financial reasoning (have you worked out the budget of childcare costs if you were to send your child elsewhere?) then you need to have a serious talk with your MB about what your days will look like and what you will do in certain situations that arise to ensure you're both comfortable and on the same page.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We are honestly having a hard time budgeting for child care at this point. I am finding some SAHM's who do in home care for just a few kids and will take infants where I could likely spend around $400 per month. But I am having a hard time justifying leaving my baby with in someone else's care while going to care for others' kids. We need two incomes and $10 an hour for me is just not going to cut it. Our other thought is moving back to my hometown where I have free child care with family and taking an office job with full benefits that I do not currently have. My husband can transfer there with is company most likely.

[Anonymous]

We need two incomes and $10 an hour for me is just not going to cut it. Our other thought is moving back to my hometown where I have free child care with family and taking an office job with full benefits that I do not currently have. My husband can transfer there with is company most likely.

OP your employer's offer to let you bring your child if you reduce from $13:50 to $10 is entirely reasonable. Your employer's request that you agree that you will not curtail your charge's schedules based on your newborn's needs is also entirely reasonable. You can not expect someone to hire you at full salary when you are bringing your child and expect that your charges will be need to follow your child's schedule.

Its good that you are being honest with yourself that you can not see your newborn's schedule not taking priority over the older kids who you think can just entertain themselves. You can't nanny for the family and bring your child with that perspective. Most employers would never consider hiring a nanny who brings her infant because of EXACTLY what you have written.

Very few employers will entertain the idea of a nanny bringing her child. You will face issues if things go south with your employer and you need to find a new job. You are much better off moving to where you can find free childcare with family and switching to an office position where you have access to affordable healthcare. You can always go back to being a nanny once your kids are in school and before/aftercare costs are lower than full childcare.

[Anonymous]

Ope again. Thanks for the input. If I could work at home, that would be ideal, but there doesn't seem to be many really legit salaried with benefits work at home jobs or more moms would do it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like your MB just wants cheap ass child care and expects you to neglect your new infant in the process. I would quit if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would quit.
I am a career nanny and I have brought my daughter to work with me since she was 4 month-old. I only applied for job with children of similar age as my child and I would not accept a rate lower than $12/hour. I am now paid between $14 and $20 per hour (not in DC), working for 3 different families (in a nanny share with 2 of them). They absolutly loved the idea that I would bring my child with me and never tried to cut my rate. I treat all children at the same level, just as if they were siblings.
Having your own child with you does make it harder to find a job but I have to say that I work for great, open-minded and thoughtful families that accepted my child as a bonus and not an obstacle or a burden.
I think that your MB does not value you enough and does not deserve to have you as her children's nanny. But, if you do quit, find a job first. What you could do is care for children out of your home on weekends, part-time, for while. Then you can use those families as references testifying that you are able to care for your child and their child at the same time. That will make it easier down the road to find a full-time job as a nanny while bringing your child to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would quit.
I am a career nanny and I have brought my daughter to work with me since she was 4 month-old. I only applied for job with children of similar age as my child and I would not accept a rate lower than $12/hour. I am now paid between $14 and $20 per hour (not in DC), working for 3 different families (in a nanny share with 2 of them). They absolutly loved the idea that I would bring my child with me and never tried to cut my rate. I treat all children at the same level, just as if they were siblings.
Having your own child with you does make it harder to find a job but I have to say that I work for great, open-minded and thoughtful families that accepted my child as a bonus and not an obstacle or a burden.
I think that your MB does not value you enough and does not deserve to have you as her children's nanny. But, if you do quit, find a job first. What you could do is care for children out of your home on weekends, part-time, for while. Then you can use those families as references testifying that you are able to care for your child and their child at the same time. That will make it easier down the road to find a full-time job as a nanny while bringing your child to work.

Wow! You are so fortunate to have found those families. I think that is why my husband felt slighted by this offer. It came off as a little insulting to him that I would have to put my baby's needs second all the time and make crap pay on top of it. I would do my best to balance it all out, but I do not think that the vast difference in ages will be to my or my baby's benefit or the children's benefit that I nanny for.

[Anonymous]

You could go back to her with a counter offer of $11/hr which would get you very close to the $400 you're talking about for childcare. You would have to guarantee her kids schedules would always come first, though.

However, I wonder if you would really leave your child with the quality of care you'd get for $400/month? I honestly don't know of good full-time care that would cost you much less less than the $600 difference.

I think you should strongly consider this offer if you need the second income. There is no guarantee you'll find a job if you move (pregnant, with an infant? how are you going to interview?), and then you'll be a SAHM with no income.

[Anonymous]

It's not "crap pay." You have to add in the value of child care for your child, too. You're not going to do much better in a share situation with another infant, IMO, if $13.50 is pretty standard in your area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could go back to her with a counter offer of $11/hr which would get you very close to the $400 you're talking about for childcare. You would have to guarantee her kids schedules would always come first, though.

However, I wonder if you would really leave your child with the quality of care you'd get for $400/month? I honestly don't know of good full-time care that would cost you much less less than the $600 difference.

I think you should strongly consider this offer if you need the second income. There is no guarantee you'll find a job if you move (pregnant, with an infant? how are you going to interview?), and then you'll be a SAHM with no income.

If we moved back while I was on leave, I could interview and have my parents watch the baby while I did the interviews. But yes, my biggest concern is how long I will have to go without an income while seeking out a new job. So it is a dilemma either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not "crap pay." You have to add in the value of child care for your child, too. You're not going to do much better in a share situation with another infant, IMO, if $13.50 is pretty standard in your area.

Yeah but it's not much value if my baby's care is always secondary.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered opening a home daycare for two or three kids?

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others that the pay cut sounds entirely reasonable. What exactly did MB say about baby's care - you said she told you that she didn't want her kids to have to work around the baby's schedule. That seems reasonable. You then go on to say that you have to give the school age kids your constant undivided attention and that your baby's care will always have to come second - did she actually tell you this? It is one thing to say that the older kids don't have to give up their normal activities because they would interfere with baby's nap. It is entirely different if she is truly saying you can't expect them to play by themselves while you feed, change, sooth baby. If you are really considering staying, I think you need to talk to MB about exactly what her expectations are? To me, baby doesn't dictate schedule is reasonable, baby always comes second is not.

Honestly, as you point out yourself, the vast difference in ages makes this challenging, and it might be better for you to pursue one of the other avenues you mentioned. One thing to think about though is whether/how much of your paid time will be while the kids are in school. If both kids are in school FT and 30+ of your 50 hours are without them, that makes it a lot less problematic to have to keep baby on their schedule. Of course,