They want me to pick them up from the airport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it shocking that so many professional nannies do not know basic car seat safety. Car seats need to be replaced after accidents and after expiration dates. A car seat should only be used if the entire history of the car seat is known. Using a car seat provided by Uber or a rental company is pure negligence.

You're hilarious. If you are the OP's nanny family, then I fully expect you to drive your car to the airport then and leave it in the parking lot for the duration of the vacation OR schlep your car seats with you in the taxi to/from the airport and on the plane to/from your destination.

(And also, how do you think OP's family is getting their kids around safely at their vacation destination? Purchasing brand new car seats for their rental car when they get there??? You sound like someone who has either NEVER traveled anywhere with kids under 12...or just plain psychotic.)

When we travel we either bring the car seats or have new ones waiting at our destination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a short-sighted way to handle this. Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

Or

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go! They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours. You say it is not an issue in and of itself. It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel? A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused. Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing. Very very silly.

Completely disagree with your second example. If this “tarnishes” a reference then these ppl really are horrible. When you provide a reference you speak on the actual work that is done. If they have the audacity to say “well we told her to drop us off and pick us up from the airport and she declined” any normal professional person would think they were crazy and ask why would that be a nanny duty. It amazes me how many nannies and families really have no idea how to be professional.

Good for you OP.

See, this is just the kind of thinking that leads to these sorts of shortsighted decisions. While I am sure the family will not mention this particular incident to any future references, the emotion that they walk away with is part of how they perceive her. She had a chance to leave them with a sense that it is so great to have her is their nanny, she takes amazing care of their entire family, and she smooths over every rough edge in their parenting experience. Instead, she has reinforced for them that she is exclusively a child care provider. I am sure they still think of her as a good child care provider, but they don’t think of her as a miracle worker. That is the difference between a glowing and an average reference. My references say things about me such as “if you don’t hire her, then that is the biggest mistake you ever make as a parent.“ The emotion that they Carry around about man is glowingly and exclusively positive. That is how you make a good impression that will give me an amazing reference for years to come, even long after you have left their family. This is dramatically different from references who think of you as a child care provider who did a pretty good job and they wish you well. Those are the kinds of references that 10 years down the line get tired of talking about you, or will say that they can’t really remember that much, but they had an overall good experience with you.

While this works for you, it does not work for me. I only deal with professional families and have never had an issue with references. I’ve had families remind me to use them as a reference bc they want to rave about me. I’ve had families cry and give me wonderful gifts when the job was over. Basically I’ve never had an issue with families giving me glowing references or getting another job and I’ve never had to go to the extent that you have to for them. My childcare speaks on its own and it has always been more than enough. If you need to go that far beyond your job to ensure that same glowing reference forever then you should do what is best for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a short-sighted way to handle this. Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

Or

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go! They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours. You say it is not an issue in and of itself. It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel? A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused. Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing. Very very silly.

Completely disagree with your second example. If this “tarnishes” a reference then these ppl really are horrible. When you provide a reference you speak on the actual work that is done. If they have the audacity to say “well we told her to drop us off and pick us up from the airport and she declined” any normal professional person would think they were crazy and ask why would that be a nanny duty. It amazes me how many nannies and families really have no idea how to be professional.

Good for you OP.

See, this is just the kind of thinking that leads to these sorts of shortsighted decisions. While I am sure the family will not mention this particular incident to any future references, the emotion that they walk away with is part of how they perceive her. She had a chance to leave them with a sense that it is so great to have her is their nanny, she takes amazing care of their entire family, and she smooths over every rough edge in their parenting experience. Instead, she has reinforced for them that she is exclusively a child care provider. I am sure they still think of her as a good child care provider, but they don’t think of her as a miracle worker. That is the difference between a glowing and an average reference. My references say things about me such as “if you don’t hire her, then that is the biggest mistake you ever make as a parent.“ The emotion that they Carry around about man is glowingly and exclusively positive. That is how you make a good impression that will give me an amazing reference for years to come, even long after you have left their family. This is dramatically different from references who think of you as a child care provider who did a pretty good job and they wish you well. Those are the kinds of references that 10 years down the line get tired of talking about you, or will say that they can’t really remember that much, but they had an overall good experience with you.

Honestly, the employers don’t sound like they’d even be grateful for this service. It sounds like they felt entitled to it and if she had done it, they would’ve thought nothing of it. However, now that she refused, they probably will think negatively because they couldn’t walk all over her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a short-sighted way to handle this. Either:

1) This is a family who constantly pushes it and tries to get you to take on more, in which case: you need to have a sit-down and clearly define your role IN GENERAL, and push back consistantly on all of this stuff

Or

2) This js a family who is generally both respectful and flexible with you, in which case: let it go! They asked you to do ONE THING that is outside of your normal hours. You say it is not an issue in and of itself. It is not going to occur again all the time because really how often do they travel? A few times a year?

This could have been an opportunity for you to garner good will and demonstrate your own flexibility and value to the family but instead you demonstrated that you are inflexible and self-focused. Your glowing reference is now tarnished just a little over something you claim you don’t even mind doing. Very very silly.

Op here, and there are other ways I have gone above and beyond l. This is just one incident. I have come in earlier, stayed later, helped with other tasks not related to childcare. So please don’t act like this one single act is going to “ruin” everything and make me seem average. There have been other times where i have said yes to things
Completely disagree with your second example. If this “tarnishes” a reference then these ppl really are horrible. When you provide a reference you speak on the actual work that is done. If they have the audacity to say “well we told her to drop us off and pick us up from the airport and she declined” any normal professional person would think they were crazy and ask why would that be a nanny duty. It amazes me how many nannies and families really have no idea how to be professional.

Good for you OP.

See, this is just the kind of thinking that leads to these sorts of shortsighted decisions. While I am sure the family will not mention this particular incident to any future references, the emotion that they walk away with is part of how they perceive her. She had a chance to leave them with a sense that it is so great to have her is their nanny, she takes amazing care of their entire family, and she smooths over every rough edge in their parenting experience. Instead, she has reinforced for them that she is exclusively a child care provider. I am sure they still think of her as a good child care provider, but they don’t think of her as a miracle worker. That is the difference between a glowing and an average reference. My references say things about me such as “if you don’t hire her, then that is the biggest mistake you ever make as a parent.“ The emotion that they Carry around about man is glowingly and exclusively positive. That is how you make a good impression that will give me an amazing reference for years to come, even long after you have left their family. This is dramatically different from references who think of you as a child care provider who did a pretty good job and they wish you well. Those are the kinds of references that 10 years down the line get tired of talking about you, or will say that they can’t really remember that much, but they had an overall good experience with you.

[Anonymous]

OP former nanny here. It took me years to develop a backbone and to stick up for myself. Legitimately YEARS. I’d be too scared they’d find a new nanny, or that they’d remember this come bonus time, or that they’d get mad and not let me take a personal day etc etc.....

Just as some life/ career nanny advice (if you end up doing this long term)..... always be in a position where you don’t ‘need’ that family. So, have a hefty savings cushion (I know that’s hard as a student), keep in touch with old nanny families/ babysitting families (for references in a pinch if you need them), have a good relationship with other nannies (for job leads) and always get everything in writing (for proof or ‘to have something to refer back to’ ).

There are always gonna be families that take advantage of you - some are good, kind people, and don’t necessarily mean to take advantage but they get complacent - sometimes they just need a friendly email reminder that it’s fine to ask some things of you but you’re just confused at their ‘expectation’ (aka entitlement) since you hadn’t discussed those expectations and it seemed more of an order than a request. Sometimes a friendly reminder sets them back into place.
But other families are just not going to give a sh*t and will order you around and just be asses. They’ll come off as nice but eventually make demands of you that are not in your job description.

My point is, ALWAYS stick up for yourself. Always ‘ask for clarification’ (my email suggestion above) which is the nice way of saying wtf.
But also be a good nanny. I always go above and beyond and I always go the extra mile... for families that treat me well. So I have no problem doing extra errands or tasks around the home when they ask nicely and are good to me.