Rematch when AP endangered my child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems very harsh to me also. Our AP locked herself out of the car at the playground and in a panic, took a taxi home with the kids to get the spare key. It was about a mile on back roads that the taxi went - obviously kids were not in a car seat for the ride. We were upset and definitely had a talk about how that was not the best decision from our perspective, but certainly we didn't consider re-matching over it. But she is otherwise an outstanding AP and amazing with the kids, so that always influences how big a deal a mistake seems (i.e., when put into perspective of the bigger picture).

Curious, what should your AP have done here instead?

[Anonymous]

I'm curious too. What would have been the right choice for your AP to have done in that circumstance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw the rematch document. It says the au pair didn't even realize the car seat had been taken out until she arrived at school to pick the child up.

The child was three? A 3yo can't consistently buckle up appropriately. The fact that she didn't even notice that the child didn't have a carseat until she got there alarms me even further.

[Anonymous]

PP I think you misread. The child was at school. The AP hopped in the car to go pick up the child and did not realize until arriving at school that the HP had removed the seat.

Though the AP had other options rather than just driving home without the seat, I agree with the others that the HM here shares the blame on this. I think the fact that the AP ran an errand after realizing the issue compounded the problem though.

But still as a HP you are responsible for providing the car seat in the car. The hm did her AP and child no favors here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious too. What would have been the right choice for your AP to have done in that circumstance?

Walk home I assume?
Though with supposedly little-ish children and on back roads which might not have side walks that doesn't sound like a great idea either.
Call HM/HD to bring spare keys?
Which is a good idea if you have SAHP/WOHP or HP who work around the corner. But if you HP commute?

I don't know. Calling a taxi actually sounds like a smart idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw the rematch document. It says the au pair didn't even realize the car seat had been taken out until she arrived at school to pick the child up.

The child was three? A 3yo can't consistently buckle up appropriately. The fact that she didn't even notice that the child didn't have a carseat until she got there alarms me even further.

Ah, I read wrong - thanks for pointing that out. So she went to pick him up and then got there and realized there was no car seat, but took him home anyway. I guess I would have expected her to call me and/or walk home (OP said they usually walk). I most certainly would have expected her not to go run an additional errand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious too. What would have been the right choice for your AP to have done in that circumstance?

Walk home I assume?
Though with supposedly little-ish children and on back roads which might not have side walks that doesn't sound like a great idea either.
Call HM/HD to bring spare keys?
Which is a good idea if you have SAHP/WOHP or HP who work around the corner. But if you HP commute?

I don't know. Calling a taxi actually sounds like a smart idea.

There were lots of other options - one of us works nearby (< 25 min) so could have ran home to bring spare keys. Also , in this particular situation another girl was with her , so she could have stayed with the kids while she ran home and back by herself. Also we have a local babysitter nearby who lives near the park that could have helped. But mainly, called to ask what we thought she should do - is what I guess we would have considered the 'right' decision. Weather was good, and it wasn't an emergency, so there was no need to make that decision with no input.

Anyway, my point was that we didn't think it was re-match worthy or even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw the rematch document. It says the au pair didn't even realize the car seat had been taken out until she arrived at school to pick the child up.

The child was three? A 3yo can't consistently buckle up appropriately. The fact that she didn't even notice that the child didn't have a carseat until she got there alarms me even further.

Ah, I read wrong - thanks for pointing that out. So she went to pick him up and then got there and realized there was no car seat, but took him home anyway. I guess I would have expected her to call me and/or walk home (OP said they usually walk). I most certainly would have expected her not to go run an additional errand.

The errand makes no sense but I would have thought bringing him home would be ok and I am very strict with car seats. Parent should have ensured car seat was properly installed. This was a failure on parent as they did not have it installed or communicate it was an issue. The errand was not ok.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of 4. If I got to school and realized I forgot the carseat, I would have driven my 3yo home without it, if preschool was under 3 miles away.
It's not the worst thing in the world.
I even might have stopped on the way home to pick up something at the grocery or library.

I would just have a serious talk with AP, not send her home.

[Anonymous]

I thought I read that while the HP did not have the carseat installed, the HP expected the AP to walk to pick up DC. As a busy mom myself, I could see not installing the car seat right away when the AP was not expected to use the car for picking up the kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if the age of the child was ever mentioned in the thread but I assume toddler or up since he is in preschool? Maybe one suggestion for this mom would be to have extra boosters in the back trunk to use in case of emergency. I understand not wanting to buy extras of the big 6 point harness car seats, but boosters are pretty cheap. We used to carry 2 extra boosters for play dates (leave at school with my child, or use in our car to bring home a friend). It's obviously not as safe as the big seat, but fine for a short distance ride. And this would end the blame game about who should be responsible for this fiasco: AP for not checking if there was a seat, or HM for not putting it back...

[Anonymous]

To the poster who said call a taxi, how does
that solve anything. She would still be
without a car seat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought I read that while the HP did not have the carseat installed, the HP expected the AP to walk to pick up DC. As a busy mom myself, I could see not installing the car seat right away when the AP was not expected to use the car for picking up the kids.

This. OP said the au pair typically walked. I could completely see assuming that the au pair would walk like normal and saying I'd install the seat later. I would have expected her to call me when she arrived at the school and realized she didn't have a carseat or at the very least, left the car there and walk home.