Rematch when AP endangered my child

[Anonymous]

My au pair drove my 3 year old without a car seat today. We haven't yet been able to get in touch with our LCC so I don't know the process, but do I really have to keep my AP for two weeks when I no longer trust her to look after either of my children?

FWIW, I do want another AP, and we are with CC.

[Anonymous]

You are overreacting. Have there been other incidents?

You need to house her for two weeks but you don't have to use her to babysit.

[Anonymous]

If the AP was instructed that a car seat is required, I disagree that this is an over reaction. Using a car seat is a critical safety issue. Not doing so after being told to do so is a major lapse in judgment.

There are situations where the lcc can house the AP though you may have to pay a daily rate. Not sure when this applies. It may depend on the LCC.

[Anonymous]

Op, if your AP has been told about the car seat and didn't use one, then you can absolutely rematch over this. You can go into rematch and either have her continue working, in which case you will pay her while you house her for two weeks, or you can have her be done working, in which case you will not pay her stipend but still have to house and feed her for the two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting. Have there been other incidents?

You need to house her for two weeks but you don't have to use her to babysit.

You are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

I would rematch over that. But I would probably not kick her out, I would put in limitations that would hopefully mitigate the unsafe behavior (for example, she can't drive with the kids). If that isn't possible given your circumstances, it makes sense to house her but not have her work.

I 100% totally, absolutely get wanting to be done and over. And it's your house and your choice of what to do. But the rematch process is designed around the families keeping the rogue AP for 2 weeks. It's part of what keeps program fees reasonable- we don't pay for housing in those situations. So think reaalllllyyy hard about whether there is a way to keep her at your house and maybe even working.

FWIW I rematched on a safety issue and was able to find a way to make it work by putting restrictions on her. It was stressful and the AP wracked up other safety issues during the rematch period, but they were fairly minor. So see if there is a way before you decide.

[Anonymous]

I'll mention that my in laws have done this a few times too and unfortunately, I can rematch with them

It could be over reacting and it could not. It is clearly a safety issue. We have dealt with something similar with an otherwise great AP who was somewhat less sensitive about safety than the average uber protective american. I firmly told her that this was not to ever happen again, and it didn't. But she was a great AP otherwise. In your case, I would consider a few criteria: 1) was it made abundantly clear that she is not to drive your children without a car seat, and 2) is she great in all other ways and worth giving a stern warning and a second chance?

The more possible overreacting part is not wanting to keep the rematch AP for 2 weeks. If you take her car privileges away, are you concerned that she may put your child in danger in other ways?

[Anonymous]

You can ask the LCC to remove her and she can usually stay with the LCC or with friends for the 2 weeks. Means you won't have any child care though. And, though I see you are angry, what will you do for the 2 weeks?

[Anonymous]

What does the contract say about having to house her under such circumstances, OP?

Carseats are required by law for good reason.

[Anonymous]

It is not overreacting in the slightest. I would call the central office and get the process going. Your AP endangered your child's life just as much as if she had left your child in a full bathtub while she went to get dinner started. Nothing may have happened *this time* just like every toddler is not going to drown in the bathtub if left unattended for five minutes. But to me it demonstrates such a basic lack of judgment and common sense that I would rematch immediately. Whether or not your AP will be 100% consistent going forward with carseat use if properly instructed, I don't think she can be trusted in other situations calling for good judgment that you can't immediately foresee and discuss.

Particularly as your 3 year old is not old enough to reliably report what your AP has done or has not done in a given situation -- I would want her out, and immediately.

[Anonymous]

wow people are really cavalier about driving a 3 year old around without a car seat. you are not overreacting at all OP and honestly, I wouldn't want her to continue working even if it put me in a bad spot for childcare. like the pp said, what if she leaves your kids in the bathtub without supervision or something else equally dangerous? I agree that it is certainly reasonable to rematch and do so immediately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are overreacting. Have there been other incidents?

You need to house her for two weeks but you don't have to use her to babysit.

You are an idiot.

+1. And the AP should be sent home, not to another unsuspecting family.

[Anonymous]

Did the AP understand that it is illegal to drive a young child around without a safety seat?

[Anonymous]

The two week housing period is to allow the AP to rematch with another family. This AP shouldn't be rematched as she has shown a serious lapse in judgement. So the LCC should (and can) take her for the couple of days it takes to get her onto a plane home.

If you WANT to keep her for two weeks, that's your call.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, this and other dangerous Au Pairs are put back into the rematch pool.

My AP let my toddler son play on the kitchen chair while she was cooking herself (not the kids) lunch. Son fell, gashed chin, got stiches. She went into rematch.

90% of the rematch APs I had to choose from had multiple car accidents, similar kid injuries, one had yelled a her 9 month old baby so bad that another mom followed them home from park and then contacted the host mom to tell her what happened.

There are some very, very immature, irresponsible APs. Not all, we've had a couple superb ones, but most who we encountered in rematch were there for a good reason. I unfortunately never came across the APs in rematch that were there because of something their Host family did.