Au pair -- indentured servitude or cultural exchange

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former AP. I was very miserable with my host family but didn't say anything as my counselor told me something along the lines of "accept it the way it is or go home" ...
I didn't want to spoil this once in a lifetime opportunity so I shut up.

This is the absolute truth, not just an isolated case.

I think that's sad- I hosted an au pair. If she was miserable, I would want to know so that I could make changes to improve things where possible or help her find a better match. If everyone was trying in this situation, I would have done what I could to make sure a competent, but poorly matched au pair did not have to go home.
Your counselor was wrong to give you that advice--and if your family was breaking rules and making you unhappy, your counselor should have intervened on your behalf. That is part of what the agency fees are for- to protect you. If your counselor wasn't protecting you, she wasn't doing her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former AP. I was very miserable with my host family but didn't say anything as my counselor told me something along the lines of "accept it the way it is or go home" ...
I didn't want to spoil this once in a lifetime opportunity so I shut up.

This is the absolute truth, not just an isolated case.

I think that's sad- I hosted an au pair. If she was miserable, I would want to know so that I could make changes to improve things where possible or help her find a better match. If everyone was trying in this situation, I would have done what I could to make sure a competent, but poorly matched au pair did not have to go home.
Your counselor was wrong to give you that advice--and if your family was breaking rules and making you unhappy, your counselor should have intervened on your behalf. That is part of what the agency fees are for- to protect you. If your counselor wasn't protecting you, she wasn't doing her job.

Did you know that these counselors get paid next to nothing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former AP. I was very miserable with my host family but didn't say anything as my counselor told me something along the lines of "accept it the way it is or go home" ...
I didn't want to spoil this once in a lifetime opportunity so I shut up.

This is the absolute truth, not just an isolated case.

I think that's sad- I hosted an au pair. If she was miserable, I would want to know so that I could make changes to improve things where possible or help her find a better match. If everyone was trying in this situation, I would have done what I could to make sure a competent, but poorly matched au pair did not have to go home.
Your counselor was wrong to give you that advice--and if your family was breaking rules and making you unhappy, your counselor should have intervened on your behalf. That is part of what the agency fees are for- to protect you. If your counselor wasn't protecting you, she wasn't doing her job.

Did you know that these counselors get paid next to nothing?

I don't know what the counselors are paid- only the fees we paid going into the program. I would expect that a counselor would mediate disputes and care (fairly) for the interests of both hosts and au pairs. I'm only speaking for myself, but if I was I making someone "miserable" I would want to change or help the situation- but I couldn't do that if I didn't know. Ive heard that HF and au pairs go through mediation. I know your point is that the entire system is broken and leaves people with little protection or recourse- while I don't entirely disagree, I think it's more complex.

[Anonymous]

I hope Trump and Tillerson kill the au pair program dead, dead, dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former AP. I was very miserable with my host family but didn't say anything as my counselor told me something along the lines of "accept it the way it is or go home" ...
I didn't want to spoil this once in a lifetime opportunity so I shut up.

This is the absolute truth, not just an isolated case.

I think that's sad- I hosted an au pair. If she was miserable, I would want to know so that I could make changes to improve things where possible or help her find a better match. If everyone was trying in this situation, I would have done what I could to make sure a competent, but poorly matched au pair did not have to go home.
Your counselor was wrong to give you that advice--and if your family was breaking rules and making you unhappy, your counselor should have intervened on your behalf. That is part of what the agency fees are for- to protect you. If your counselor wasn't protecting you, she wasn't doing her job.

Did you know that these counselors get paid next to nothing?

I don't know what the counselors are paid- only the fees we paid going into the program. I would expect that a counselor would mediate disputes and care (fairly) for the interests of both hosts and au pairs. I'm only speaking for myself, but if I was I making someone "miserable" I would want to change or help the situation- but I couldn't do that if I didn't know. Ive heard that HF and au pairs go through mediation. I know your point is that the entire system is broken and leaves people with little protection or recourse- while I don't entirely disagree, I think it's more complex.

You should know that your counselor is getting paid next to nothing, not to mention that she's most likely overwhelmed with everyone's problems. You should also know you're getting ripped off by your agency owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope Trump and Tillerson kill the au pair program dead, dead, dead.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope Trump and Tillerson kill the au pair program dead, dead, dead.

Why?

Probably because most of these foreigners are getting taken advantage of. Very few are treated "on par".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope Trump and Tillerson kill the au pair program dead, dead, dead.

Why?

Probably because most of these foreigners are getting taken advantage of. Very few are treated "on par".

You got it right! Modern day indentured servitude.

[Anonymous]

1. Can work no more than 40 hours a week.

Why? I work more than 40 hours/week. 45 hours/week is already fairly restrictive. I would be happy to pay a bit more for using up to 50 hours some weeks, so perhaps that would be a better approach.

2. Program conforms to US labor laws.

It does other than wage laws.

3. Maximum of two children to care for.

Why? Again, I would have no problem w/ a supplementary fee for additional children. Nanny knows what they're getting into, there is no potential for job creep on this front really.

4. Paid prevailing minimum wage of jurisdiction in which the host family lives.

This would defeat the entire purpose of the program and make APs more expensive than nannies because of all the other fees. Remember that APs want the program to continue to exist. I wouldn't have a problem w/ making sure minimum wage is paid including all fees -- i.e., by paying more for hours above 40 or whatever.

5. No housework or yardwork, other than cleaning her room. Straightening children's room but no vaccuming. No cooking, cleaning kitchen for entire family and NEVER laundry for parents.

Housework/yardwork/cooking/cleaning kitchen of the type a family member would perform are perfectly acceptable. So, if I asked my AP to do all of these things once/week while my husband and I do it 3x/week each, that's perfectly in keeping with the spirit of the program. What do you have against vacuuming? It's part of cleaning the kids' rooms.

6. Every hour on the clock, e.g., AP has to pick up child from school at 3:30, on clock for travel time to school.

This should obviously be true and is already a rule.

7. Two full weekends, Friday, 6 pm to Monday, 6 am, free.

This is overly restrictive. Some people use the AP program to take care of weekends only (e.g., shift working doctors). APs should know what they're getting into in advance.

8. All Federal holidays off.

Why? I don't get all Federal holidays off... and it's the hardest time to find alternative childcare.

9. If AP is taken on holiday with family, no taking care of kids. If taking care if kids is expected, then she has a private room.

I actually think this distinction is sort of silly as long as the vacation is optional (i.e., AP has the right to say no). If AP is required to come, then I agree on a private room (i.e., same rules as at home).

10. Holiday meals cooked by host family, no using AP as maid.

What if host family doesn't cook their own holiday meals? I agree AP shouldn't be made to cook everyone's holiday meals... I don't think that's controversial though? This is the sort of micromanaging that belies that you don't have a lot of experience w/ the program or understand why people do it.

[Anonymous]

16:24, you are proving my contention that the au pair program is modern indentured servitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. Can work no more than 40 hours a week.

Why? I work more than 40 hours/week. 45 hours/week is already fairly restrictive. I would be happy to pay a bit more for using up to 50 hours some weeks, so perhaps that would be a better approach.

2. Program conforms to US labor laws.

It does other than wage laws.

3. Maximum of two children to care for.

Why? Again, I would have no problem w/ a supplementary fee for additional children. Nanny knows what they're getting into, there is no potential for job creep on this front really.

4. Paid prevailing minimum wage of jurisdiction in which the host family lives.

This would defeat the entire purpose of the program and make APs more expensive than nannies because of all the other fees. Remember that APs want the program to continue to exist. I wouldn't have a problem w/ making sure minimum wage is paid including all fees -- i.e., by paying more for hours above 40 or whatever.

5. No housework or yardwork, other than cleaning her room. Straightening children's room but no vaccuming. No cooking, cleaning kitchen for entire family and NEVER laundry for parents.

Housework/yardwork/cooking/cleaning kitchen of the type a family member would perform are perfectly acceptable. So, if I asked my AP to do all of these things once/week while my husband and I do it 3x/week each, that's perfectly in keeping with the spirit of the program. What do you have against vacuuming? It's part of cleaning the kids' rooms.

6. Every hour on the clock, e.g., AP has to pick up child from school at 3:30, on clock for travel time to school.

This should obviously be true and is already a rule.

7. Two full weekends, Friday, 6 pm to Monday, 6 am, free.

This is overly restrictive. Some people use the AP program to take care of weekends only (e.g., shift working doctors). APs should know what they're getting into in advance.

8. All Federal holidays off.

Why? I don't get all Federal holidays off... and it's the hardest time to find alternative childcare.

9. If AP is taken on holiday with family, no taking care of kids. If taking care if kids is expected, then she has a private room.

I actually think this distinction is sort of silly as long as the vacation is optional (i.e., AP has the right to say no). If AP is required to come, then I agree on a private room (i.e., same rules as at home).

10. Holiday meals cooked by host family, no using AP as maid.

What if host family doesn't cook their own holiday meals? I agree AP shouldn't be made to cook everyone's holiday meals... I don't think that's controversial though? This is the sort of micromanaging that belies that you don't have a lot of experience w/ the program or understand why people do it.

Nanny here. I've spoken with several APs, and all have said that they would have preferred to be able to negotiate for the things that mattered most to them while negotiating away the things that mattered least.

[Anonymous]

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/03/au-pair-program-abuse-state-department-214956

If even one au pair is treated so shamefully, this program must be discontinued.

[Anonymous]

I was an Au pair once and I have to agree that I often felt like cheap labor: often worked overtime; had to remind to get paid, would have to remind to be reimbursed for money spent on kids, often had to care for 4 kids and ocassionally 5 ( family friends' kid); often no foodin the house ... it was an interesting experience, which has taught me that money didn't bring happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope Trump and Tillerson kill the au pair program dead, dead, dead.

Only Americans gets the best out of this. Sad. But Its nice to see kind Americans treating very nice to thier Aupairs.

Lmao wasnt Trump's wife a foreigner and came to this country with a work visa or aupair and with a work permit plan snd got inmediatly a permanent residence from Trump?
Lol hypocrites, look at yourself in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Its better to find tofether a positive solution to this then if you people want to help instead of doing destruction.