Are we expecting too much from our nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your baby is only 7 months old.
Let her live her baby life. She doesn't need to be read to everyday and to have her nanny teach her vocabulary.
She's not about to speak anyway ...

It looks like your nanny is bored because she can't get out.

Going to the mall isn't a bad idea. Your baby would enjoy the stroll, seeing colors, people, see other babies etc.
I wouldn't let it be a habit but maybe once in a while, it can be a fun outing.

Why don't you let your nanny go out ?
Do you, as a parent, stay at home all weekend and interact with your baby 100%?

Yes she is the nanny and is paid for that but let's be honest, it can be boring to watch just one baby.
The day can be long, especially if you can't go out due to the weather.

Maybe she could join a group with other nannies or young moms etc. Your baby would be happy and so would your nanny.

+1

Nanny sounds a bit lazy but I don't think it goes further than that. It's up to you if you want to fire her over these things.

[Anonymous]

This forum has been excellent for it's insight as to just what parents think about caregivers and the people that are taking care of the most precious things in their lives. If the house burnt down the children are normally something you would not want to loose in that fire... So, my next question is if anybody here has worked as a full time nanny/au pair??

I have worked for more than 6 years now as a nanny/au pair/babysitter/ care giver, and no matter what name you give it the essentials are the same, I am charged with the care of somebody else's life, learning, well being and development.
So, when I read a job listing that states someone would like a carer for two/three children and they only want to pay around $11 an hour, I for one keep scrolling. It depends on the level of professionalism of the hired help, their age and levels of maturity.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys, and yes we are humans too, my apologies to whom I am addressing but I am currently studying human growth and development and babies can benefit from being read to, it expands the vocabulary and teaches various communication and concepts.
I hardly think any of us are capable of expressing just how much we actually understand, and babies can be said to be the same. The ears are generally fully developed in utero unless there has been some damage to the fetus... Anyway, we all raise children differently around the world.

We do get bored, same thing every day, especially if alone with a baby it can be incredibly dull, getting out of the house is a good idea, for everyone's sanity.

To address the masters/educational aspect of this debate, when I began honestly I did not have a masters/education that was anything in child care, but it appears that some of the best in this profession do not, a piece of paper states that you may have given your teachers all the right answers but does not mean you are able to have any of the soft skills that are required for the field of child care. Certainly things such as first aid and police checks are a must be we must keep in mind that not every sitter is a match for every family.
The way that one family raises their children can be completely different to the way another family raises their family, cultural/religious/geographical aspects included.
As a parent you must not be afraid to say something to your sitter, of course tact is certainly advised but if is at the end of the day Your children, no one elses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum has been excellent for it's insight as to just what parents think about caregivers and the people that are taking care of the most precious things in their lives. If the house burnt down the children are normally something you would not want to loose in that fire... So, my next question is if anybody here has worked as a full time nanny/au pair??

I have worked for more than 6 years now as a nanny/au pair/babysitter/ care giver, and no matter what name you give it the essentials are the same, I am charged with the care of somebody else's life, learning, well being and development.
So, when I read a job listing that states someone would like a carer for two/three children and they only want to pay around $11 an hour, I for one keep scrolling. It depends on the level of professionalism of the hired help, their age and levels of maturity.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys, and yes we are humans too, my apologies to whom I am addressing but I am currently studying human growth and development and babies can benefit from being read to, it expands the vocabulary and teaches various communication and concepts.
I hardly think any of us are capable of expressing just how much we actually understand, and babies can be said to be the same. The ears are generally fully developed in utero unless there has been some damage to the fetus... Anyway, we all raise children differently around the world.

We do get bored, same thing every day, especially if alone with a baby it can be incredibly dull, getting out of the house is a good idea, for everyone's sanity.

To address the masters/educational aspect of this debate, when I began honestly I did not have a masters/education that was anything in child care, but it appears that some of the best in this profession do not, a piece of paper states that you may have given your teachers all the right answers but does not mean you are able to have any of the soft skills that are required for the field of child care. Certainly things such as first aid and police checks are a must be we must keep in mind that not every sitter is a match for every family.
The way that one family raises their children can be completely different to the way another family raises their family, cultural/religious/geographical aspects included.
As a parent you must not be afraid to say something to your sitter, of course tact is certainly advised but if is at the end of the day Your children, no one elses.

Hmm, when you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Imagine that!

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:PP, when nannies say reading doesn't matter with babies because "they don't pay attention", I wonder how the nanny plans to TEACH the child to pay attention to books. If you read it (even for just a minute) they will come to love books!

I did not read to my children etc that b she and, somehow I they managed to graduate for HS with honors, full college scholastic scholarships. Reading to a 6 month old is ludicrous.

$15/he is what my daughter is paid to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:PP, when nannies say reading doesn't matter with babies because "they don't pay attention", I wonder how the nanny plans to TEACH the child to pay attention to books. If you read it (even for just a minute) they will come to love books!

I did not read to my children etc that b she and, somehow I they managed to graduate for HS with honors, full college scholastic scholarships. Reading to a 6 month old is ludicrous.

$15/he is what my daughter is paid to babysit.

How old is your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Post is old...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Post is old...

And the same problems persist. What's your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:PP, when nannies say reading doesn't matter with babies because "they don't pay attention", I wonder how the nanny plans to TEACH the child to pay attention to books. If you read it (even for just a minute) they will come to love books!

I did not read to my children etc that b she and, somehow I they managed to graduate for HS with honors, full college scholastic scholarships. Reading to a 6 month old is ludicrous.

$15/he is what my daughter is paid to babysit.

If you refer to your daughter's studies as "full college scholastic scholarships", I believe you when you say you didn't read to her at 6 months old. Actually, I don't think you do much reading at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:PP, when nannies say reading doesn't matter with babies because "they don't pay attention", I wonder how the nanny plans to TEACH the child to pay attention to books. If you read it (even for just a minute) they will come to love books!

I did not read to my children etc that b she and, somehow I they managed to graduate for HS with honors, full college scholastic scholarships. Reading to a 6 month old is ludicrous.

$15/he is what my daughter is paid to babysit.

How old is your daughter?

18

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

nannydebsays wrote:PP, when nannies say reading doesn't matter with babies because "they don't pay attention", I wonder how the nanny plans to TEACH the child to pay attention to books. If you read it (even for just a minute) they will come to love books!

I did not read to my children etc that b she and, somehow I they managed to graduate for HS with honors, full college scholastic scholarships. Reading to a 6 month old is ludicrous.

$15/he is what my daughter is paid to babysit.

If you refer to your daughter's studies as "full college scholastic scholarships", I believe you when you say you didn't read to her at 6 months old. Actually, I don't think you do much reading at all.

Makes it that much better. I am illiterate but children aren't. Go soak your head.

[Anonymous]

It is NOT ridiculous to read to a six month old. I've been reading to my charge since he was 8 weeks old. Does he always pay attention? Nope, but he enjoys my talking to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny who cares for our 7 month old baby for 4-6 hours a few days a week. We pay her $15 hour. If I am home when she is here she gets a 30 minute lunch break. She is very loving to our baby and reliable and we really appreciate that quality in her. However during the times that we've been home when, we've noted that she spends a significant amount of time texting or surfing the web on her Ipad and Iphone, making personal phone calls, studying her school work, etc.

Our hope is that she would interact with our daughter: read baby books, sing, talk to her, tummy or sitting time, teach vocabulary while watching nursery rhymes by stating what is flashed on the screen, etc. I've asked her nicely to do these things. But I've noticed that our nanny will do them for maybe 15 minutes and then return to doing her own thing again. Ive give our nanny credit that she does keep her eye on our baby, but its often done by placing the baby in the play yard or jumperoo while she sits next to her and surfs the internet. Our baby has become very easy to care and doesn't cry out of boredom or from a dirty diaper. If the baby does get board in the play yard, I've seen our nanny just put baby einstein on her Ipad and set it down on the floor next to the baby to watch, while our nanny texts on her phone.

Other times when I've asked our nanny to do things like read books, she has told me that "it is ridiculous to read baby books"....or "that its just as good if she reads her school work out loud." Or when I've asked the nanny to practice sitting with our nanny she responded "that its not necessary because all babies will eventually sit without practice, they may not do it on time, but they will eventually." The only chore we ask our nanny to do other than care for our daughter is to vacuum our small living room where she lays our baby on the floor...and she will do that. Often she will empty our dishwasher too without even being asked. One day she even moped our kitchen floor.

But my guess is that our nanny may be spending about 75% of her time her (outside of lunch break) doing her own thing while just keeping an eye on her daughter. She seems to get board with our baby. When I've asked her to interact more, she got angry and said "it is ridiculous to expect her to interact with our baby the whole time she is here!" She complained that our house is small, its too cold outside for walks and that we won't let her go on outings with our baby to the mall, etc. I emphasized I'm not asking her to interact the whole time, but out of say a 4-6 hour period, at least 3 hours of interaction seems reasonable to me (especially since we are paying $15/hr for one baby). She disagrees.

I'm I expecting too much?

Um, this is from 2014, people. She isn't a baby anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she is basically doing what a babysitter does.

Just sitting with your baby, making sure he is safe and sound and that is all.

What you want is someone who not only does all of the above, but someone who also teaches, engages and interacts and stimulates.

This just isn't a good match and since you have already spoken to her about what you want and she hasn't responded that she is willing to change for you, you have no other option but to kindly part ways.

She is only paying babysitting wages. You want more, pay more!

[Anonymous]

I think this Nanny is acting passive/aggressive because she is not allowed to leave the house.

[Anonymous]

I am glad this nanny is doing this to you. I am an excellent nanny and have been for many years. I have always interact with the children which whom I cared for. I read to them, painted with them, colored with them, sang to them and I rolled on the floor with them.And I've gone beyond the call of my duties. And now that I have gotten a little older parents feel that I can't do those same things.... which is laughable to me.

Therefore, I am glad that this nanny whom I believe is much younger than I am is doing this to you.

Yes I am angry, because I have been going on interviews after interviews and no one wants to hire me because I have gotten a little older.

I hardly used my phone when I was at work and if I did it was because I was either returning massages to said children's parents or calling them about something relating the children.

Last month I was hired to care for a four month little boys and I read him about 6 books after I finished giving him his milk everyday, and I told him the stories of the three little pigs and Red Riding-hood. Will he remember no , but it felt so wonderful telling him these stories.

I am hoping that he will recall someone reading to him and telling him these stories being said to him. But if he doesn't that is okay too, because I loved telling him them. Good luck with the nanny whom you have watching your child....