Are we expecting too much from our nanny?

[Anonymous]

Is your schedule an odd one, or is it the same 4-5 hours each day? If you can guarantee a regular schedule that would allow the nanny to also find a second part time job or schedule classes around your job, I would think that you would be able to find lots of candidates.

As a FTM, one of the hardest things I did was let our nanny drive off with our baby (I think we did baby yoga starting around 6-7 months). But I had screened her, checked her driving record, even driven with her a couple of times, and realized it was my anxiety. Best to get that first time over with and realize it's going to be ok.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree with her that it doesn't matter what she reads to the baby. You could read the Wall Street Journal as easily as Sandra Boynton and the baby won't know or care the difference. Overall it doesn't sound like she's a good fit for an infant. Babies can be boring. That's a fact. If you don't like boring babies, work with older toddlers and preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

To the person that said the nanny should massage the baby : get real, it ain't going to happen.
Nannies aren't supposed to massage the babies.
Unless you want your nanny to become the baby's mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to agree with her that it doesn't matter what she reads to the baby. You could read the Wall Street Journal as easily as Sandra Boynton and the baby won't know or care the difference. Overall it doesn't sound like she's a good fit for an infant. Babies can be boring. That's a fact. If you don't like boring babies, work with older toddlers and preschoolers.

I really really disagree. They rhythm of nursery rhymes or the repetition of the kinds of simple phrases in a typical book for babies, together with the pictures of course, especially when read by an enthusiastic and engaged adult, is in no way a comparable experience to reading the Wall Street Journal to a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to agree with her that it doesn't matter what she reads to the baby. You could read the Wall Street Journal as easily as Sandra Boynton and the baby won't know or care the difference. Overall it doesn't sound like she's a good fit for an infant. Babies can be boring. That's a fact. If you don't like boring babies, work with older toddlers and preschoolers.

I really really disagree. They rhythm of nursery rhymes or the repetition of the kinds of simple phrases in a typical book for babies, together with the pictures of course, especially when read by an enthusiastic and engaged adult, is in no way a comparable experience to reading the Wall Street Journal to a baby.

disagree all you want, but that's what they're teaching in child development classes in four year universities. I'm assuming it's based on something more than whether or not a professor agrees or disagrees with you.

[Anonymous]

The way it was explained to me was that it doesn't matter what you read to provide a good example and the sounds of the language. But for teaching vocabulary or really engaging the baby it has to have pictures and be age appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who tells you there is no value in reading to a seven month old is not fit to care for your child! Our child was interested in those black and white books during tummy time when he was a few WEEKS old! Please find someone - anyone- else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny who cares for our 7 month old baby for 4-6 hours a few days a week. We pay her $15 hour. If I am home when she is here she gets a 30 minute lunch break. She is very loving to our baby and reliable and we really appreciate that quality in her. However during the times that we've been home when, we've noted that she spends a significant amount of time texting or surfing the web on her Ipad and Iphone, making personal phone calls, studying her school work, etc.

Our hope is that she would interact with our daughter: read baby books, sing, talk to her, tummy or sitting time, teach vocabulary while watching nursery rhymes by stating what is flashed on the screen, etc. I've asked her nicely to do these things. But I've noticed that our nanny will do them for maybe 15 minutes and then return to doing her own thing again. Ive give our nanny credit that she does keep her eye on our baby, but its often done by placing the baby in the play yard or jumperoo while she sits next to her and surfs the internet. Our baby has become very easy to care and doesn't cry out of boredom or from a dirty diaper. If the baby does get board in the play yard, I've seen our nanny just put baby einstein on her Ipad and set it down on the floor next to the baby to watch, while our nanny texts on her phone.

Other times when I've asked our nanny to do things like read books, she has told me that "it is ridiculous to read baby books"....or "that its just as good if she reads her school work out loud." Or when I've asked the nanny to practice sitting with our nanny she responded "that its not necessary because all babies will eventually sit without practice, they may not do it on time, but they will eventually." The only chore we ask our nanny to do other than care for our daughter is to vacuum our small living room where she lays our baby on the floor...and she will do that. Often she will empty our dishwasher too without even being asked. One day she even moped our kitchen floor.

But my guess is that our nanny may be spending about 75% of her time her (outside of lunch break) doing her own thing while just keeping an eye on her daughter. She seems to get board with our baby. When I've asked her to interact more, she got angry and said "it is ridiculous to expect her to interact with our baby the whole time she is here!" She complained that our house is small, its too cold outside for walks and that we won't let her go on outings with our baby to the mall, etc. I emphasized I'm not asking her to interact the whole time, but out of say a 4-6 hour period, at least 3 hours of interaction seems reasonable to me (especially since we are paying $15/hr for one baby). She disagrees.

I'm I expecting too much?

When you are just paying $ 15 then that's what you get.

[Anonymous]

Why did you have to ask her to do this and that. ? have you check the Reference? if you can afford it to Hire somebody who has more EXPERIENCE you do not have to deal with this for sure. Seems like you are not being honest.i will give you a perfect example some kids have hard time Behaving there kicking,biting,throwing, scratching at you. And the dog . when you bring to their attentions they families expect the nanny to discipline their kids. what do you weigh on is????

[Anonymous]

Why did you have to ask her to do this and that. ? have you check the Reference? if you can afford it to Hire somebody who has more EXPERIENCE you do not have to deal with this for sure. Seems like you are not being honest.i will give you a perfect example some kids have hard time Behaving there kicking,biting,throwing, scratching at you. And the dog . when you bring to their attentions they families expect the nanny to discipline their kids. what do you weigh on is????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny who cares for our 7 month old baby for 4-6 hours a few days a week. We pay her $15 hour. If I am home when she is here she gets a 30 minute lunch break. She is very loving to our baby and reliable and we really appreciate that quality in her. However during the times that we've been home when, we've noted that she spends a significant amount of time texting or surfing the web on her Ipad and Iphone, making personal phone calls, studying her school work, etc.

Our hope is that she would interact with our daughter: read baby books, sing, talk to her, tummy or sitting time, teach vocabulary while watching nursery rhymes by stating what is flashed on the screen, etc. I've asked her nicely to do these things. But I've noticed that our nanny will do them for maybe 15 minutes and then return to doing her own thing again. Ive give our nanny credit that she does keep her eye on our baby, but its often done by placing the baby in the play yard or jumperoo while she sits next to her and surfs the internet. Our baby has become very easy to care and doesn't cry out of boredom or from a dirty diaper. If the baby does get board in the play yard, I've seen our nanny just put baby einstein on her Ipad and set it down on the floor next to the baby to watch, while our nanny texts on her phone.

Other times when I've asked our nanny to do things like read books, she has told me that "it is ridiculous to read baby books"....or "that its just as good if she reads her school work out loud." Or when I've asked the nanny to practice sitting with our nanny she responded "that its not necessary because all babies will eventually sit without practice, they may not do it on time, but they will eventually." The only chore we ask our nanny to do other than care for our daughter is to vacuum our small living room where she lays our baby on the floor...and she will do that. Often she will empty our dishwasher too without even being asked. One day she even moped our kitchen floor.

But my guess is that our nanny may be spending about 75% of her time her (outside of lunch break) doing her own thing while just keeping an eye on her daughter. She seems to get board with our baby. When I've asked her to interact more, she got angry and said "it is ridiculous to expect her to interact with our baby the whole time she is here!" She complained that our house is small, its too cold outside for walks and that we won't let her go on outings with our baby to the mall, etc. I emphasized I'm not asking her to interact the whole time, but out of say a 4-6 hour period, at least 3 hours of interaction seems reasonable to me (especially since we are paying $15/hr for one baby). She disagrees.

I'm I expecting too much?

When you are just paying $ 15 then that's what you get.

I agree. Top notch care is hard to find and costs more.

[Anonymous]

Op here.

This nanny ive described had the most experience of all the nannies we interviewed! She had a masters degree in education with a concentration (ironically) in reading/language specialist. She has 18 years experience teaching in public schools, private tutoring, and Sunday school and 10 years experience as a professional nanny! She is a mother of one child. She had several references - all were glowing! I suspect that perhaps her previous nanny family (who also had an infant) never witnessed the care she provides or had very low expectations. What's alarming to me is that despite all her experience even safety can be questionable with her. For example, her first day on the job she strapped our then 10 week old in a baby bjorn and co-slept with her in it for 3 hours while slumped over sideways on the couch. Another example occurred a few days later when the nanny couldn't figure out how to secure the car seat in our Bob stroller. So....since SHE wanted to go on a walk so bad, she instead swaddled our 10 week old and somehow jerryrig strapped her to the stroller seat meant for a toddler and off they went. I'm bet my baby's head was flopping all around. We addressed these events and she didnt do them again, but its concerning to me that they occurred in the first place. It just seemed like our baby's well being was not her top priority.

It is actually very frustrating to me that we have had this bad experience with someone with such a strong résumé. It makes me unsure about what to look for in the next nanny we hire .

Conversely, our part-time nanny who has very little experience as a nanny and zero infant care experience is absolutely wonderful with our baby! She is a mother of two. Her day job is tech in a hospital. she has a high school degree and only charges $10 per hour.

I don't know why some posters question if my posts are real. They are! We hired these nannies off of care.com.

[Anonymous]

You are paying a fine rate for what you need and your nanny is simply lazy. Fire her. When you find another nanny, absolutely refuse to allow her to do her homework while working and ask that she keep in her phone in her handbag and do not use it during work. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

I never read to my kids at 7 months. I also cleaned, sewed, napped, talked on phone. Somehow all three turned out extraordinarily well. Two eldest received full scholarships to top colleges, on the honor roll, eldest elected to Phi Beta Kappa
Dear me, what a terrible mother I was for not reading to them when they were 7 months old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

This nanny ive described had the most experience of all the nannies we interviewed! She had a masters degree in education with a concentration (ironically) in reading/language specialist. She has 18 years experience teaching in public schools, private tutoring, and Sunday school and 10 years experience as a professional nanny! She is a mother of one child. She had several references - all were glowing! I suspect that perhaps her previous nanny family (who also had an infant) never witnessed the care she provides or had very low expectations. What's alarming to me is that despite all her experience even safety can be questionable with her. For example, her first day on the job she strapped our then 10 week old in a baby bjorn and co-slept with her in it for 3 hours while slumped over sideways on the couch. Another example occurred a few days later when the nanny couldn't figure out how to secure the car seat in our Bob stroller. So....since SHE wanted to go on a walk so bad, she instead swaddled our 10 week old and somehow jerryrig strapped her to the stroller seat meant for a toddler and off they went. I'm bet my baby's head was flopping all around. We addressed these events and she didnt do them again, but its concerning to me that they occurred in the first place. It just seemed like our baby's well being was not her top priority.

It is actually very frustrating to me that we have had this bad experience with someone with such a strong résumé. It makes me unsure about what to look for in the next nanny we hire .

Conversely, our part-time nanny who has very little experience as a nanny and zero infant care experience is absolutely wonderful with our baby! She is a mother of two. Her day job is tech in a hospital. she has a high school degree and only charges $10 per hour.

I don't know why some posters question if my posts are real. They are! We hired these nannies off of care.com.

I hope you realize that you are paying your high schooler $10 an hour to babysit on the side yet your nanny with a masters degree who does this as her full-time job only $15. Do you think that is fair? You expect her to go to school for 6 years and bring nearly a decade of experience and glowing references to you for only $5 an hour more than your high schooler? And then do a amazing job to boot with no mistakes and never using her phone and helping out around the house? Something has to give, and in your case it's her commitment and attention while on the job.