MB won't tell me she's pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does the care per child get reduced? Does she change diapers half as often? Feed them half as many meals? put them down for half as many naps? listen to their needs half the time? She still has to care for both kids 100%, you can't really quantify the decrease in attention. Ideally all their needs will continue to get met, its just a matter of whether the nanny can essentially meet double the needs, and handle doubling her workload.

The workload doesn't double because there is no space for it to double, unless you agree that prior to introducing the second child the nanny was doing nothing half the time. The amount of care per child does get reduced. She now has to balance the needs of both children during the same amount of time. She may not talk/sing/read/entertain/play as much with each child because she has to fit them both in. She may have to balance the outings with the needs of both children in mind, and that means that sometimes each child won't get to do what they want. Their needs are still met, but they will be met with a more "bare-bones" approach rather than deluxe version. Ask any mother of two whether the amount of attention she was able to pay to #1 went down when #2 entered the picture.

I'm not saying that the older child won't feel a change in amount of attention showed, simply that you can't quantify what exactly that change is, and I don't think 50% is accurate. Everyone's physical needs are still met, laundry, meals, and clean up should still happen. A good nanny can easily feed an infant a bottle and carry on a conversation/read a book/instruct an older child. The reason costs in a share are split is because the two families share the cost of the care. I don't think anyone would go the share or daycare route if they truly believed their kid was getting half/one third of a nanny. All of your child's needs should be met in whatever care setup you choose, and having another child in the mix doesn't change things that drastically. $1 or $2/hour increase for a new baby is fine with me, and I would drop my rate to bring my infant along but definitely not in half. More like $2-$3.

I don't think that's the reason; rather, the reason is that neither family can afford the cost of a sole-use nanny, and they agree that half a nanny is better than group care. I was a part of a nanny share once, and I knew that my baby is getting half a nanny - that was fine with me because that was enough, and because it's better than the amount of attention he would get in a daycare. The nanny share arrangement implicitly acknowledges that children in a shared care arrangement get less than full-on amount of attention, and that's why it costs less per child. If being in a nanny share was the same as having a sole-use nanny, nannies would be justified in charging twice the regular amount (so, $15 x 2 vs. say $18 or $19).

My son is in preschool now and you better believe that when he is in the classroom, he's getting less attention than he would have received in a one-on-one situation. Of course he does. That's the reality of group care.

How old is your son now?

Three.

Do you feel getting less attention is a negative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How old is your son now?

Three.
Do you feel getting less attention is a negative?
I feel that less attention is less than more attention. I would certainly balk at paying the amount of exclusive nanny fees for his preschool tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How old is your son now?

Three.

Do you feel getting less attention is a negative?
I feel that less attention is less than more attention. I would certainly balk at paying the amount of exclusive nanny fees for his preschool tuition.
Some would pay a higher wage for teaching their child important age-appropriate life lessons, such as having to wait a bit sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Are we doing something wrong here with the format?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How old is your son now?

Three.

Do you feel getting less attention is a negative?

I feel that less attention is less than more attention. I would certainly balk at paying the amount of exclusive nanny fees for his preschool tuition.
Some would pay a higher wage for teaching their child important age-appropriate life lessons, such as having to wait a bit sometimes.
They get that from me for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How old is your son now?

Three.

Do you feel getting less attention is a negative?

I feel that less attention is less than more attention. I would certainly balk at paying the amount of exclusive nanny fees for his preschool tuition.

Some would pay a higher wage for teaching their child important age-appropriate life lessons, such as having to wait a bit sometimes.
They get that from me for free.
My only child didn't get that much from me, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How old is your son now?

Three.

Do you feel getting less attention is a negative?

I feel that less attention is less than more attention. I would certainly balk at paying the amount of exclusive nanny fees for his preschool tuition.

Some would pay a higher wage for teaching their child important age-appropriate life lessons, such as having to wait a bit sometimes.

They get that from me for free.
My only child didn't get that much from me, unfortunately.
Why not? Are you a nanny or an MB?