MB won't tell me she's pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're taking this too personally. Admittedly it's a little late in the game for her to still being ignoring the elephant in the room but there can be any number of reasons why a woman is reluctant to discuss her pregnancy.

Worst case scenario is that there is some sort of medical concern on her mind. Maybe there is something highrisk about her pregnancy or likely delivery that is making her nervous or unsure. Or maybe she hasn't actually figured out what she's going to do about maternity leave, nanny share, life decisions, etc... Or maybe she's actually not happy about it and is trying to put off dealing w/ necessary conversations and realities until she's ready. Maybe she and her husband aren't on the same page re planning yet and she's trying to spare you any uncertainty while they're working it out. Etc...

Anyway, don't take it so personally. If things are good w/ her professionally, and the other MB has assured you that your job is safe, then you need to back off.

While I can agree that she might not want to tell for a medical reason etc, but then why would you tell the share partners? Wouldn't you wait to tell everyone? Or at least those that are not close friends and family? It is strange that they asked over a month ago to tell the nanny themselves but then haven't yet done so. I don't think she needs to panic since it was made clear by the other share family that they will be keeping her, but I would feel weird about it all at this point. It's obvious that they will never become that close to the OP if they do stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this woman assuming that OP even wants to take on a newborn?? They haven't even asked OP how much extra she wants to charge IF she wants to do the additional workload.

OP, I would not be surprised if they dump all this extra work on you and throw you your extra dollar or two an hour. Sorry, but f*** that c***.

Bring it up, tell her congratulations and how happy you are for them. Next ask point blank, what she had in mind for the baby's care. Just do it, OP, tomorrow. You'll have a fantastic weekend after you get this done.

Please let us know how it goes if you decide to bring it up, OP.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny in a share.
MB #1 is just over 5 months pregnant.
She has yet to tell me. I've known for 3 months (no more wine glasses to wash, saltine packages everywhere, multiple doctor's appointments, etc). We've never had a particularly close relationship, although it is good in a professional way.
I have to pretend not to notice her giant abdomen. It's pretty strange.

MB #2 and I are much closer. We have been from the beginning.
I finally asked MB2 what was going on and why I didn't know.
She said that MB1 asked them not to tell me as they (MB1/DB1) wanted to do it themselves.
This was over a month ago.
MB2 assured me that the share would go on like normal, as that is what the two sets of parents had decided on.

Can anyone venture a guess as to why these people will not tell me about the pregnancy and at what point I should ask them about it?
At this rate, I may not officially find out until her maternity leave ends.

I don't think you should ask until they tell you, and I don't think you should assume that this newborn will be your charge. For all you know, they have other plans. This issue doesn't really need to come up until much later. When it comes closer to delivery and her pregnancy will be the talk of the household, then you may ask. At five months, sorry, it's none of your business, and I say this without negativity. It just isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny in a share.
MB #1 is just over 5 months pregnant.
She has yet to tell me. I've known for 3 months (no more wine glasses to wash, saltine packages everywhere, multiple doctor's appointments, etc). We've never had a particularly close relationship, although it is good in a professional way.
I have to pretend not to notice her giant abdomen. It's pretty strange.

MB #2 and I are much closer. We have been from the beginning.
I finally asked MB2 what was going on and why I didn't know.
She said that MB1 asked them not to tell me as they (MB1/DB1) wanted to do it themselves.
This was over a month ago.
MB2 assured me that the share would go on like normal, as that is what the two sets of parents had decided on.

Can anyone venture a guess as to why these people will not tell me about the pregnancy and at what point I should ask them about it?
At this rate, I may not officially find out until her maternity leave ends.

I don't think you should ask until they tell you, and I don't think you should assume that this newborn will be your charge. For all you know, they have other plans. This issue doesn't really need to come up until much later. When it comes closer to delivery and her pregnancy will be the talk of the household, then you may ask. At five months, sorry, it's none of your business, and I say this without negativity. It just isn't.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

I'm 8 weeks. i don't know when I will tell my nanny. Probably around 3 months or so, but maybe not. I have no idea what will happen if I will continue to work full time with three kids or stay home or what. Pregnancy is hard enough. It's normal to want to avoid these big choices and reasonable to make you wait until a couple of months out to know what will happen with the job. That seems like plenty of notice. I think most nanny's would immeidately ask those hard questions upon finding out MB was pregnant so it make sense that she hasn't told. Try not to take it personally.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would keep my eyes open for other job options since your current position looks dicey. Go ahead and say nothing to them until you lineup your next position. Their loss for not including you in their thought process.

Don't allow your own job security take a back seat because they aren't sure which they might want to go. Otherwise, you may suddenly find yourself with nothing, and families are looking *now* for the upcoming school year, as they return from vacation. In a few months your choices will be very limited. GL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB had to terminate at 5 months because of chromosomal abnormalities. Why are you making this all about you? Get a life.

Please f*** off.

No, YOU f*** off. The nanny isn't family or a friend and it's up to the MB when SHE decides to share this information. My MB did have to terminate, so I'm not sure why I'm being told to f*** off. Next time she gor pregnant I could obviously see she was pregnant and she waited 4 months to tell me.

Well, to be fair your MB didn't "have" to abort because of a chromosomal abnormality. She chose to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would keep my eyes open for other job options since your current position looks dicey. Go ahead and say nothing to them until you lineup your next position. Their loss for not including you in their thought process.

Don't allow your own job security take a back seat because they aren't sure which they might want to go. Otherwise, you may suddenly find yourself with nothing, and families are looking *now* for the upcoming school year, as they return from vacation. In a few months your choices will be very limited. GL.

*which way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB had to terminate at 5 months because of chromosomal abnormalities. Why are you making this all about you? Get a life.

Please f*** off.

No, YOU f*** off. The nanny isn't family or a friend and it's up to the MB when SHE decides to share this information. My MB did have to terminate, so I'm not sure why I'm being told to f*** off. Next time she gor pregnant I could obviously see she was pregnant and she waited 4 months to tell me.

Well, to be fair your MB didn't "have" to abort because of a chromosomal abnormality. She chose to.

[b]

Seriously you are an asshole. Probably a loser unemployed nanny or miserable at your job. I know your kind. I laugh at you. I love my MB and her uterus is none of my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB had to terminate at 5 months because of chromosomal abnormalities. Why are you making this all about you? Get a life.

Please f*** off.

No, YOU f*** off. The nanny isn't family or a friend and it's up to the MB when SHE decides to share this information. My MB did have to terminate, so I'm not sure why I'm being told to f*** off. Next time she gor pregnant I could obviously see she was pregnant and she waited 4 months to tell me.

Well, to be fair your MB didn't "have" to abort because of a chromosomal abnormality. She chose to.

[b]

Seriously you are an asshole. Probably a loser unemployed nanny or miserable at your job. I know your kind. I laugh at you. I love my MB and her uterus is none of my business.

...or a prolife MB. The planet has room for us all. Don't be so quick to judge others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB had to terminate at 5 months because of chromosomal abnormalities. Why are you making this all about you? Get a life.

Please f*** off.

No, YOU f*** off. The nanny isn't family or a friend and it's up to the MB when SHE decides to share this information. My MB did have to terminate, so I'm not sure why I'm being told to f*** off. Next time she gor pregnant I could obviously see she was pregnant and she waited 4 months to tell me.

Well, to be fair your MB didn't "have" to abort because of a chromosomal abnormality. She chose to.

[b]

Seriously you are an asshole. Probably a loser unemployed nanny or miserable at your job. I know your kind. I laugh at you. I love my MB and her uterus is none of my business.

...or a prolife MB. The planet has room for us all. Don't be so quick to judge others.

Whatever your stance or position this topic is inappropriate on this thread. Take your politics elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Funny how people are allowed to talk about almost anything they want here. Gasp!

[Anonymous]

When is a nanny expected to inform employers of her pregnancy? You would be miffed if she hid it until 5 or 6 months in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MB had to terminate at 5 months because of chromosomal abnormalities. Why are you making this all about you? Get a life.

Please f*** off.

No, YOU f*** off. The nanny isn't family or a friend and it's up to the MB when SHE decides to share this information. My MB did have to terminate, so I'm not sure why I'm being told to f*** off. Next time she gor pregnant I could obviously see she was pregnant and she waited 4 months to tell me.

Well, to be fair your MB didn't "have" to abort because of a chromosomal abnormality. She chose to.

I thought the same thing.....

[Anonymous]

Try to stay on topic, ladies.

OP, she doesn't have to tell you until she is ready and you are free to seek other employment if you feel like this is some serious wrong.