Essential Proceedures

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:08, how would you respond to the nanny who needs to leave before her hoped for tenure is finished (standard 2 wks notice)?

Depends on the reason why, I suppose. I've never had it happen. If it were because of a medical emergency or something like that, which is outside the nanny's control, then I assume I would do the exact same things as long as I could do so truthfully. In other words, if she is leaving suddenly because of a reason outside of her control, but the only way she could get another job is if I lied about that, then I would not lie to the other family. Again, it has never happened so if you gave a concrete example that would be helpful.

Can't follow your answer, so let's make it simple. She's leaving you because she wants to live in another state closer to her relatives. What sort of written reference letter are you giving her?

I am the poster you are responding to. Of course in that situation I would write her a good reference. The other poster's share example isn't relevant for my purposes because I have never been in a share, so I don't even understand what she is talking about.

One example I can think of where I wouldn't is let's say the nanny lost her drivers license for DUI or something. If I wrote a recommendation letter, it would have to mention that she can't drive. I couldn't write a glowing reference about everything she did for us (including driving) if I thought she would then try to get a job that included driving with someone else who did not know she lost her license. I would at least have to mention she can't drive. So the nanny may not want that letter.

But none of these things have ever happened to me. I have never had a nanny quit.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 15:15, but you may want to have a lawyer review anything negative you say or write.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:08, how would you respond to the nanny who needs to leave before her hoped for tenure is finished (standard 2 wks notice)?

Depends on the reason why, I suppose. I've never had it happen. If it were because of a medical emergency or something like that, which is outside the nanny's control, then I assume I would do the exact same things as long as I could do so truthfully. In other words, if she is leaving suddenly because of a reason outside of her control, but the only way she could get another job is if I lied about that, then I would not lie to the other family. Again, it has never happened so if you gave a concrete example that would be helpful.

Can't follow your answer, so let's make it simple. She's leaving you because she wants to live in another state closer to her relatives. What sort of written reference letter are you giving her?

I am the poster you are responding to. Of course in that situation I would write her a good reference. The other poster's share example isn't relevant for my purposes because I have never been in a share, so I don't even understand what she is talking about.

One example I can think of where I wouldn't is let's say the nanny lost her drivers license for DUI or something. If I wrote a recommendation letter, it would have to mention that she can't drive. I couldn't write a glowing reference about everything she did for us (including driving) if I thought she would then try to get a job that included driving with someone else who did not know she lost her license. I would at least have to mention she can't drive. So the nanny may not want that letter.

But none of these things have ever happened to me. I have never had a nanny quit.

So you can't answer the other PP because you've never been in a share? I would venture to guess that you cant answer because she made you look silly. Her point was that if a nanny voluntarily quits, not fired as the nanny in your second post would be, her reason for leaving shouldn't affect the reference you give her. You said your ability to give a reference "depends on the reason" she's leaving. It shouldn't. She can decide whenever she wants that she would like a new job, and you should honestly assess her is she chooses to use you as a reference. The skittishness nannies have, and why some would go so far as indicated by this thread, is because lots of MBs do not react professionally or maturely if a nanny quits on them. They cry, they guilt, they tantrum, they scheme, they may serve as a reference and lie, or they may refuse to serve as a reference just out of spite. I'm not saying that its reasonable to demand quarterly references, but lets not pretend MBs are above human nature, and that this IS an issue. Nannies are incredibly reliant upon references for success in our field, and its all too easy for a shellfish MB to screw us because she doesn't approve of our reason for leaving.

[Anonymous]

Amen!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
13:08, how would you respond to the nanny who needs to leave before her hoped for tenure is finished (standard 2 wks notice)?


Depends on the reason why, I suppose. I've never had it happen. If it were because of a medical emergency or something like that, which is outside the nanny's control, then I assume I would do the exact same things as long as I could do so truthfully. In other words, if she is leaving suddenly because of a reason outside of her control, but the only way she could get another job is if I lied about that, then I would not lie to the other family. Again, it has never happened so if you gave a concrete example that would be helpful.


Can't follow your answer, so let's make it simple. She's leaving you because she wants to live in another state closer to her relatives. What sort of written reference letter are you giving her?


I am the poster you are responding to. Of course in that situation I would write her a good reference. The other poster's share example isn't relevant for my purposes because I have never been in a share, so I don't even understand what she is talking about.

One example I can think of where I wouldn't is let's say the nanny lost her drivers license for DUI or something. If I wrote a recommendation letter, it would have to mention that she can't drive. I couldn't write a glowing reference about everything she did for us (including driving) if I thought she would then try to get a job that included driving with someone else who did not know she lost her license. I would at least have to mention she can't drive. So the nanny may not want that letter.

But none of these things have ever happened to me. I have never had a nanny quit.


So you can't answer the other PP because you've never been in a share? I would venture to guess that you cant answer because she made you look silly. Her point was that if a nanny voluntarily quits, not fired as the nanny in your second post would be, her reason for leaving shouldn't affect the reference you give her. You said your ability to give a reference "depends on the reason" she's leaving. It shouldn't. She can decide whenever she wants that she would like a new job, and you should honestly assess her is she chooses to use you as a reference. The skittishness nannies have, and why some would go so far as indicated by this thread, is because lots of MBs do not react professionally or maturely if a nanny quits on them. They cry, they guilt, they tantrum, they scheme, they may serve as a reference and lie, or they may refuse to serve as a reference just out of spite. I'm not saying that its reasonable to demand quarterly references, but lets not pretend MBs are above human nature, and that this IS an issue. Nannies are incredibly reliant upon references for success in our field, and its all too easy for a shellfish MB to screw us because she doesn't approve of our reason for leaving.

You might want to work on that reading comprehension if you want to be taken seriously in the world. The PP you are being bitchy to did answer the question and doesn't look silly at all. She said she'd give a nanny voluntarily leaving a good reference. I get that some MBs are incredible jerks when it comes to nannies leaving, but the MB you're deriding seems to have given you an honest and supportive answer.she would give a good reference in the example given.

You'd probably get more empathy and support from MBs if you learned to read and not be such a eye rolling, bitter person.

(And no, I'm not the poster you're quoting. Feel free to check with Jeff.)

[Anonymous]

How can anyone verify how many devices you may be posting from, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:08, how would you respond to the nanny who needs to leave before her hoped for tenure is finished (standard 2 wks notice)?

Depends on the reason why, I suppose. I've never had it happen. If it were because of a medical emergency or something like that, which is outside the nanny's control, then I assume I would do the exact same things as long as I could do so truthfully. In other words, if she is leaving suddenly because of a reason outside of her control, but the only way she could get another job is if I lied about that, then I would not lie to the other family. Again, it has never happened so if you gave a concrete example that would be helpful.

Can't follow your answer, so let's make it simple. She's leaving you because she wants to live in another state closer to her relatives. What sort of written reference letter are you giving her?

I am the poster you are responding to. Of course in that situation I would write her a good reference. The other poster's share example isn't relevant for my purposes because I have never been in a share, so I don't even understand what she is talking about.

One example I can think of where I wouldn't is let's say the nanny lost her drivers license for DUI or something. If I wrote a recommendation letter, it would have to mention that she can't drive. I couldn't write a glowing reference about everything she did for us (including driving) if I thought she would then try to get a job that included driving with someone else who did not know she lost her license. I would at least have to mention she can't drive. So the nanny may not want that letter.

But none of these things have ever happened to me. I have never had a nanny quit.

So you can't answer the other PP because you've never been in a share? I would venture to guess that you cant answer because she made you look silly. Her point was that if a nanny voluntarily quits, not fired as the nanny in your second post would be, her reason for leaving shouldn't affect the reference you give her. You said your ability to give a reference "depends on the reason" she's leaving. It shouldn't. She can decide whenever she wants that she would like a new job, and you should honestly assess her is she chooses to use you as a reference. The skittishness nannies have, and why some would go so far as indicated by this thread, is because lots of MBs do not react professionally or maturely if a nanny quits on them. They cry, they guilt, they tantrum, they scheme, they may serve as a reference and lie, or they may refuse to serve as a reference just out of spite. I'm not saying that its reasonable to demand quarterly references, but lets not pretend MBs are above human nature, and that this IS an issue. Nannies are incredibly reliant upon references for success in our field, and its all too easy for a shellfish MB to screw us because she doesn't approve of our reason for leaving.

Is it a job requirement that you have to confess why you're leaving? Sorry, but most nannies just would rather not hurt your feelings, so her reason will have nothing to do with you. Smart cookie, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:13:08, how would you respond to the nanny who needs to leave before her hoped for tenure is finished (standard 2 wks notice)?

Depends on the reason why, I suppose. I've never had it happen. If it were because of a medical emergency or something like that, which is outside the nanny's control, then I assume I would do the exact same things as long as I could do so truthfully. In other words, if she is leaving suddenly because of a reason outside of her control, but the only way she could get another job is if I lied about that, then I would not lie to the other family. Again, it has never happened so if you gave a concrete example that would be helpful.

Can't follow your answer, so let's make it simple. She's leaving you because she wants to live in another state closer to her relatives. What sort of written reference letter are you giving her?

I am the poster you are responding to. Of course in that situation I would write her a good reference. The other poster's share example isn't relevant for my purposes because I have never been in a share, so I don't even understand what she is talking about.

One example I can think of where I wouldn't is let's say the nanny lost her drivers license for DUI or something. If I wrote a recommendation letter, it would have to mention that she can't drive. I couldn't write a glowing reference about everything she did for us (including driving) if I thought she would then try to get a job that included driving with someone else who did not know she lost her license. I would at least have to mention she can't drive. So the nanny may not want that letter.

But none of these things have ever happened to me. I have never had a nanny quit.

So you can't answer the other PP because you've never been in a share? I would venture to guess that you cant answer because she made you look silly. Her point was that if a nanny voluntarily quits, not fired as the nanny in your second post would be, her reason for leaving shouldn't affect the reference you give her. You said your ability to give a reference "depends on the reason" she's leaving. It shouldn't. She can decide whenever she wants that she would like a new job, and you should honestly assess her is she chooses to use you as a reference. The skittishness nannies have, and why some would go so far as indicated by this thread, is because lots of MBs do not react professionally or maturely if a nanny quits on them. They cry, they guilt, they tantrum, they scheme, they may serve as a reference and lie, or they may refuse to serve as a reference just out of spite. I'm not saying that its reasonable to demand quarterly references, but lets not pretend MBs are above human nature, and that this IS an issue. Nannies are incredibly reliant upon references for success in our field, and its all too easy for a shellfish MB to screw us because she doesn't approve of our reason for leaving.

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous



How can anyone verify how many devices you may be posting from, PP?

I'm the person you are challenging. Jeff can. Go ahead and check with him.

One of these days, you are going to need to understand that more than one person disagrees with you. It's a good life lesson. Learn it.

[Anonymous]

OMG. I should hope that more than one person would disagree with me at least sometimes. It isn't a lesson I need to learn, but you're most welcome to speak for yourself.

Haven't I told you, I love a good debate as long as you have some intelligent contributions to make. I find random thoughts on a whim, to be rather weak and useless.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what you think you are debating with me. I simply agreed with someone who gave you the well thought out intelligent contributions you say you seek. Yet, you responded to her in a very bitchy manner. I called you out on that. I also called you out on your poor reading comprehension. Frankly, I don't blame the PP you were attacking for leaving the thread. You really aren't very engaging, nor are you very intelligent.

But hey, stick around. We tolerate all sorts of people here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what you think you are debating with me. I simply agreed with someone who gave you the well thought out intelligent contributions you say you seek. Yet, you responded to her in a very bitchy manner. I called you out on that. I also called you out on your poor reading comprehension. Frankly, I don't blame the PP you were attacking for leaving the thread. You really aren't very engaging, nor are you very intelligent.

But hey, stick around. We tolerate all sorts of people here.

You make no reference to any post, so it's unknown what or who you are talking about. It's just as well. Nothing lost.

[Anonymous]

The MB often gets nasty when you no longer want to put up with her incompetence. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Seeing how often nannies get burned, why would any honest employer not offer routine reference letters?

[Anonymous]

bump