Is it unreasonable to ask our nanny to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:



+1. Seriously, virtually every woman on this forum has been pregnant. The PP with the “how dare you attack...” is way over the top. She is a silly, self-serving woman to even post such nonsense.

Umm, excuse me. No. I adopted all 3 of my children. One from Asia, two from Central America.

Pregnancy? No way.


Hence the “virtually”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t “get it”, OP. You aren’t asking for advice and you don’t want feedback. I am an employer of a wonderful nanny and your original post and subsequent posts give all employers a bad name.

+1

Op- either grow a backbone and tell her to take the kids or accept that you ASKED and she said no.

[Anonymous]

OP

You say your nanny comes 2 days a week.

How do your kids act and how does the nanny act?
Can she handle them in the home? On other outings? Does she take them on outings?

This can be a special event you can do with your spouse and kids. Or it can be a special event with the nanny and kids.

I don’t think it’s a horrible thing. It’s great for kids to see where foods come from.
But if your nanny’s confidence on being able to control the situation, then it’s best she doesn’t take them.

FYI I’m a nanny to 4 yr old twins and 1.5 yr old triplets. And yes we go fruit and veggie picking every year. (We aren’t in the dc area).

[Anonymous]

...it's not good for a woman 60+ to be in open-sun strawberry patch, with no shade, for prolonged period of time. I am 45 and would hate it. Unless it's a cool breezy day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...it's not good for a woman 60+ to be in open-sun strawberry patch, with no shade, for prolonged period of time. I am 45 and would hate it. Unless it's a cool breezy day.

I am 67 and have no trouble with outings like this with my three grandsons while my DIL, who is 33, whines, complains and gets “faint”. I’ve done vegetable picking with them at farms in the blazing sun, beach trips at over 90 degrees, baseball games with no shade, etc. It has nothing to do with age.

The nanny was asked to take the older kids and she declined. End of story. To make her refusal about her age is ridiculous. Sounds to be like OP’s kids are a handful.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you considered that the farm won’t want her and kids there if there’s any question of her ability to handle picking and kids or their ability/willingness to behave? If they destroy strawberries, let alone the plants, you may be paying a lot more than you intended...

[Anonymous]

Op update- took the kids by myself a few weeks ago. They behaved very well and greatly enjoyed the outing.

Thank you to those that took the time to give honest and not mean feedback. It was helpful. I realize that the bottom line is the nanny really cannot handle them well at the ages they are now. She was a great nanny for an infant and toddler but now she seems stressed. Despite knowing her since birth, ny kids cry when she arrives and beg me not to leave them with her. My oldest tells me she yells at them a lot now that he is
home from school and able to observe what happens at the house. We are planning to find someone else in the fall.

To the 67 year old I offended- I did not mean to be ageist and I apologize. My 73 year old mother would have no trouble with this activity which is why I was surprised when the nanny said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here checking in- thanks for taking the time to
Reply, even the mean ones.

So, just to sum up the responses to my question- most nannies feel that they would be able to handle this level
of outing with a 7, 4 and 2 year old and if they did not feel they were able to handle it, it would be due to the fact that the children are “brats” and wildly misbehaving?

Furthermore, this is an inappropriate question to even ask on a nanny board because I already asked the nanny and she said no and I should just respect her decision unilaterally in respect for her professional role?

Thanks. No snark implied. Truly looking for clarification as I navigate this.

Welcome to DCUM! I also do not live in DC and maybe the climate there makes everyone cranky? I am a career nanny and have replies to a couple of posts on this thread. I can, without a doubt, handle taking 3+ children to a strawberry patch. If your children were unruly then we would be working together to change that or you would be looking for a new nanny. I cannot imagine working for children that I didn’t feel like I could handle safely on outings. But your nanny can’t, so for the safety of your children you cannot ask her to take them out. That wouldn’t work for me, but only you can decide what works for you, especially with a fourth on the way.

Also, all questions are appropriate to ask, just ignore the truly unhappy people that like to call names and such. Best of luck to you!

. Thank you for this reply! Wish you the best and a happy summer!!

[Anonymous]

She's smart and knows her limits.

It's betten than a younger nanny that says yes to everything you ask her and doesn't actively watch the kids. That happens.