Nanny cooking for herself

[Anonymous]

Yes OP, the majority of nannies who responded (I included) agree that this is inappropriate. Speak to her otherwise you may come in one day find her in your bed taking a nap, wearing your house shoes or going through your makeup. This isn't culturally related at all. I live with roommates and I tell you some people just have no boundaries for others stuff. It is bad behavior and I would want it to stop or not have it around my child. Period.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am vegan and therefore make almost everything from scratch. I work 13 hour days and still never take more than 45 minutes to make, eat and clean up from my lunch.

That said, everything in the nanny world is so personal. If you love this nanny, drawing this boundary could be a dealbreaker for her. It’s not really about whether it is objectively reasonable, it is about what she thinks. So before you address it, figure out 1) what exactly you want her to change (take only X amount of time, complete Y duties first, not make such a mess, etc.) and decide whether this is one blemish on an otherwise amazing nanny or whether it is part of a pattern of not being fully invested in her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am vegan and therefore make almost everything from scratch. I work 13 hour days and still never take more than 45 minutes to make, eat and clean up from my lunch.

That said, everything in the nanny world is so personal. If you love this nanny, drawing this boundary could be a dealbreaker for her. It’s not really about whether it is objectively reasonable, it is about what she thinks. So before you address it, figure out 1) what exactly you want her to change (take only X amount of time, complete Y duties first, not make such a mess, etc.) and decide whether this is one blemish on an otherwise amazing nanny or whether it is part of a pattern of not being fully invested in her job.

Best post on this thread. Curious how op will respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am vegan and therefore make almost everything from scratch. I work 13 hour days and still never take more than 45 minutes to make, eat and clean up from my lunch.

That said, everything in the nanny world is so personal. If you love this nanny, drawing this boundary could be a dealbreaker for her. It’s not really about whether it is objectively reasonable, it is about what she thinks. So before you address it, figure out 1) what exactly you want her to change (take only X amount of time, complete Y duties first, not make such a mess, etc.) and decide whether this is one blemish on an otherwise amazing nanny or whether it is part of a pattern of not being fully invested in her job.

Best post on this thread. Curious how op will respond.

This whole thread has made me laugh. Finally, someone with sense chimes in.

I'm a live-in nanny. Depending on the family, I might eat with kids, I might eat what kids eat, I might have time between 6 am and 10 PM to make separate meals. Or I might not. I cook every meal, and I prefer to cook from scratch with whole foods, but I use some processed foods if its the only way to keep to the kids' schedule. However, I have NEVER had an employer tell me not to cook, that I'm cooking too long or that I shouldn't make my own food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is not allowed by cook her, do you allow her to go out to lunch? Didn't think so. She is not an American and maybe she doesn't want a damn cold sandwich for lunch. You probably pay her $10/hr with NO OT and she id probably undocumented. You are truly a terrible person, OP.

Not allowed to cook her lunch

This is OP. Actually we pay her more than double that on the books with benefits. she is also only part time with us , 30 hrs a week. The point of my post was to find out if her cooking from scratch is a standard practice , and judging from the more intelligent replies it’s not. I would prefer her to cook herself gourmet meals on her own time. Just as I would prefer her to shower, do her laundry, and complete her other household tasks on her own time as well.

Yep, you are an ass.

No she’s not, but you certainly are. You arguing that nannies should be paid high wages and not act professional simply do not line up. I am a career nanny and at most I have cooked pasta for a sauce I took out of the freezer at home, but that is rare as I cook my food at home and bring it to work, as do most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am vegan and therefore make almost everything from scratch. I work 13 hour days and still never take more than 45 minutes to make, eat and clean up from my lunch.

That said, everything in the nanny world is so personal. If you love this nanny, drawing this boundary could be a dealbreaker for her. It’s not really about whether it is objectively reasonable, it is about what she thinks. So before you address it, figure out 1) what exactly you want her to change (take only X amount of time, complete Y duties first, not make such a mess, etc.) and decide whether this is one blemish on an otherwise amazing nanny or whether it is part of a pattern of not being fully invested in her job.

Best post on this thread. Curious how op will respond.

This whole thread has made me laugh. Finally, someone with sense chimes in.

I'm a live-in nanny. Depending on the family, I might eat with kids, I might eat what kids eat, I might have time between 6 am and 10 PM to make separate meals. Or I might not. I cook every meal, and I prefer to cook from scratch with whole foods, but I use some processed foods if its the only way to keep to the kids' schedule. However, I have NEVER had an employer tell me not to cook, that I'm cooking too long or that I shouldn't make my own food.

A live-in situation is completely different, if you share the family kitchen. (If you have separate quarters with a kitchen, wouldn't you be cooking there?) But vegan doesn't necessarily mean you have to cook every meal fresh, and most professions simply wouldn't allow time or circumstances for that; you probably be in an office somewhere eating something brought from home.

[Anonymous]

Is her home situation such that she can't cook there? Or is working a second job so can't cook a hot meal at another time? American lunches (quick and cold) are appalling to many other cultures. Her job responsibilities are definitely a priority. We had someone who had to learn that her hot lunch might get cold chasing after the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is her home situation such that she can't cook there? Or is working a second job so can't cook a hot meal at another time? American lunches (quick and cold) are appalling to many other cultures. Her job responsibilities are definitely a priority. We had someone who had to learn that her hot lunch might get cold chasing after the kids.

OP here. She lives in a roommate setting, my house probably offers a better environment to cook in. To PP , this is a pattern of her putting her needs first. However she thinks she is doing a great job and is defensive when I criticize anything. So it’s probably not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

I'm VERY generous and laid back with my nannies and what they do in my house, and even I would find this odd, particularly if the nanny was not completing her other duties. I'd be concerned that she was going to prioritize her own cooking over childcare, if the baby's naps and activities don't coincide when she wants to cook her lunch. I'd also be worried about the stove going full force when she is caring for a child, and would want to make sure she's not trying to cook and hold the baby at the same time.

I mean, if she explained and asked me about it, I'd probably say yes if there was a good reason, after we talked it through to make sure it was going to work out.

But there's something just weird about her doing it without any discussion (and taking your tupperware) that would be a red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

If she still gets through all the jobs you ask her to do in the week then I think that is fine. If she's doing her cooking instead of the work she's been given, it's not. At least she won't feed your kid crap when it's older because she knows how to cook from scratch and values it enough to bother to do it for herself. Being a nanny isn't like being a lawyer - you're there to do a job not bill hours (I'm a lawyer - still hate billing hours after years!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she still gets through all the jobs you ask her to do in the week then I think that is fine. If she's doing her cooking instead of the work she's been given, it's not. At least she won't feed your kid crap when it's older because she knows how to cook from scratch and values it enough to bother to do it for herself. Being a nanny isn't like being a lawyer - you're there to do a job not bill hours (I'm a lawyer - still hate billing hours after years!)

Actually since nannies by law must be non-exempt hourly employees they are there to bill hours. So why would it be accceptable ( aside from reasonable break let’s say 1 hr) for the nanny to do her cooking at work and “ bill” the family for that time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she still gets through all the jobs you ask her to do in the week then I think that is fine. If she's doing her cooking instead of the work she's been given, it's not. At least she won't feed your kid crap when it's older because she knows how to cook from scratch and values it enough to bother to do it for herself. Being a nanny isn't like being a lawyer - you're there to do a job not bill hours (I'm a lawyer - still hate billing hours after years!)

Actually since nannies by law must be non-exempt hourly employees they are there to bill hours. So why would it be accceptable ( aside from reasonable break let’s say 1 hr) for the nanny to do her cooking at work and “ bill” the family for that time?

Apparently it's common practice for nannies of school age children to bill for sitting around, watching TV, surfing the net or lying in bed, according to the nannies here (so they are "available in case of a sick child or school closure).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she still gets through all the jobs you ask her to do in the week then I think that is fine. If she's doing her cooking instead of the work she's been given, it's not. At least she won't feed your kid crap when it's older because she knows how to cook from scratch and values it enough to bother to do it for herself. Being a nanny isn't like being a lawyer - you're there to do a job not bill hours (I'm a lawyer - still hate billing hours after years!)

Actually since nannies by law must be non-exempt hourly employees they are there to bill hours. So why would it be accceptable ( aside from reasonable break let’s say 1 hr) for the nanny to do her cooking at work and “ bill” the family for that time?

Apparently it's common practice for nannies of school age children to bill for sitting around, watching TV, surfing the net or lying in bed, according to the nannies here (so they are "available in case of a sick child or school closure).

As do any other on-call professionals. That's on call, ie. not time actually with the child.