question for current au pairs and former au pairs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This program doesn't work as a cultural experience between hosts and Au pair. It looks great on a paper and photographs. Not any host especially that one who wants independent Au pair is going to bother abouth her safety. The biggest mistake that agencies creates is telling Au pairs that they can count on hosts. Hosts don't want problems only elastic childcare. Telling Au pair what to do and where to be after 45 hours of work is rude and violating of free movement. Au pair is also waking up when HF is screaming or fighting at midnight or screams on child at 4 am. Au pairs want to travel but the possibility of doing that is in last month and don't want to waste additional money for back to the country ticket. There is no much philosophy in it.



I really, really feel sorry for this au pair. Your living arrangements must be terrible. You spend all of your time on these forums, complaining about the wrongs you've suffered. It sounds like you've been abused or taken advantage of. Please contact your LCC, or, if the situation is really that bad, the police.

If that's not the case and you're simply unhappy, then take actions to change that. Go make friends. Find a new host family. You're in the US for a short period of time in a program that really is designed to give you a taste of American life. I promise you there's a better life that spending all your time on DCUM. And if my au pair only read your posts and believed you, she wouldn't be here having the time of her life, working 20 hours a week caring for kids she now considers family and enjoying all the perks that go along with having a host family that truly cares for her.

Yes, this.

[Anonymous]

This program doesn't work as a cultural experience between hosts and Au pair. It looks great on a paper and photographs. Not any host especially that one who wants independent Au pair is going to bother abouth her safety. The biggest mistake that agencies creates is telling Au pairs that they can count on hosts. Hosts don't want problems only elastic childcare. Telling Au pair what to do and where to be after 45 hours of work is rude and violating of free movement.

It has worked for thousands of AP and HF for many decades. Why do you think it still exists? Especially since the years since the internet and social media? If so many APs felt like you, why would they all be lining up to come? Do you realize that there are so many more AP applicants than there are HFs? How is that possible if the AP program doesn't appeal to these young women and men? Why do so many CHOOSE to stay a second year...either with their HF or a new HF?

PLEASE tell us why you have not yet:

1. Rematched???

2. Gone home????

[Anonymous]

It exists because American citizens/families needs it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It exists because American citizens/families needs it.

You responded so quickly! Did you not see the post above? Please do something to better your situation. Call your LCC immediately.

[Anonymous]

It exists because American citizens/families needs it.

And why to APs keep coming to fulfill this need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It exists because American citizens/families needs it.

And why to APs keep coming to fulfill this need?

Candidates for Au pairs are not going only to fulfill your children and your needs. That would be to dumb.

[Anonymous]

Candidates for Au pairs are not going only to fulfill your children and your needs. That would be to dumb.

Again, why do so many APs come to the USA? And stay for a second year? If the AP program is so unfair and awful, why do they keep coming? They can read all about it on social media (including your posts her on this site), yet they keep on coming! You never answer question. Perhaps many APs are happy and recommend the program?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It exists because American citizens/families needs it.

And why to APs keep coming to fulfill this need?

Candidates for Au pairs are not going only to fulfill your children and your needs. That would be to dumb.

Last chance OP: tell us what your specific issue is. Otherwise I leave it out there for all the internet to see that you're just disgruntled and really have nothing further to offer to this discussion. I wish you the very best of luck in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Candidates for Au pairs are not going only to fulfill your children and your needs. That would be to dumb.

Again, why do so many APs come to the USA? And stay for a second year? If the AP program is so unfair and awful, why do they keep coming? They can read all about it on social media (including your posts her on this site), yet they keep on coming! You never answer question. Perhaps many APs are happy and recommend the program?

I don't know why SO MANY Au pairs are comming there. Hopefully there are many individual reasons beside childcare because if it's just for travel and good time with hosts it's waste of energy going there. I'm strongly against many rules of this program because it barely guarantees anything. I also don't understand why someone could extend participation. Maybe people from poorer countries wants to become legal having SSN and bank account. Maybe they are buying time to look around and work on connections. There are not clear evidences of how many Au pairs are actually satisfied of what the companies and hosts are promoting or trying to promote here.

So going back to the main topic. Location should be main determinant.

[Anonymous]

because if it's just for travel and good time with hosts it's waste of energy going there.

Maybe a waste of time for you, but it sounds like you are either a miserable AP, you have a miserable HP, or most likely it is a combination of both. For most APs, coming for travel opportunities and to experience the USA is precisely why they come and why they extend. For most APs, it is a really good gig. And for most HFs, it is a really good gig. Which is why the AP program has been going on for decades! Both parties are winning...or winning enough to make it worth continuing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curfews for Au pair are illegal. I don't even know how could I obey this nonsens most of the time.

I'm glad I didn't find you in my search. You sound like a whiny child, rather than an adult that we can trust to care for our kids.

Why don't you go home if you're so miserable instead of trolling these forums? Or are you already home, unemployed, and bitter because you had to go home after failing to rematch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This program doesn't work as a cultural experience between hosts and Au pair. It looks great on a paper and photographs. Not any host especially that one who wants independent Au pair is going to bother abouth her safety. The biggest mistake that agencies creates is telling Au pairs that they can count on hosts. Hosts don't want problems only elastic childcare. Telling Au pair what to do and where to be after 45 hours of work is rude and violating of free movement. Au pair is also waking up when HF is screaming or fighting at midnight or screams on child at 4 am. Au pairs want to travel but the possibility of doing that is in last month and don't want to waste additional money for back to the country ticket. There is no much philosophy in it.



I really, really feel sorry for this au pair. Your living arrangements must be terrible. You spend all of your time on these forums, complaining about the wrongs you've suffered. It sounds like you've been abused or taken advantage of. Please contact your LCC, or, if the situation is really that bad, the police.

If that's not the case and you're simply unhappy, then take actions to change that. Go make friends. Find a new host family. You're in the US for a short period of time in a program that really is designed to give you a taste of American life. I promise you there's a better life that spending all your time on DCUM. And if my au pair only read your posts and believed you, she wouldn't be here having the time of her life, working 20 hours a week caring for kids she now considers family and enjoying all the perks that go along with having a host family that truly cares for her.

Yes, this.

For the disgruntled poster, this is from Jeff on the front page of this discussion:

The purpose of this forum is to allow families that host Au Pairs or are considering hosting an Au Pair to exchange information. There are obviously some individuals that do not like the current Au Pair program that exists in the US. While that is a legitimate viewpoint and one worthy of discussion, it is not useful in this forum. Please have discussions of that sort in the "Off-Topic" forum within the Nanny Forums section:"