question for current au pairs and former au pairs
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Anonymous
| We are doing our first match for an AP, wondering what things made you decide on matching with the family that you decided to finally pick? Was there anything that you looked for specifically that you thought would make for a good experience? What were things that made you NOT want to match with a certain family? How many families did you interview with before selecting the one that you wanted? Thanks for your help! |
Anonymous
We are doing our first match for an AP
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Anonymous
Mostly gut feeling. I talked to both my prospective HM and HD, both were very nice, friendly, open about the challenges the job would bring, we laughed a lot, had a similar sense of humor. We just talked for hours (first time nearly 3 hrs, second time another 1 1/2 hrs) and it never felt strange or forced. Fixed schedule (7 am to 5 pm), AP car, all weekends off, busy, active.
I was looking for a family with both parents working full time (not from home) that had a young child who was home all day - as I wanted a fixed schedule and weekends off. I also hoped for a family that was experienced with the program (not first AP) but not on the brink of burning out (not AP #14). I had an idea of what I thought I wanted, an idea of what I thought the "family of my dreams" would look like. Had you asked me when I signed up for the program, I would have said I was looking for a two-parent family with two children (aged 3 to 8) in the suburb of a large city (I was silently hoping for Chicago or Boston). Even though you are not asking the question - I would never have thought that I'd pick a HF like mine. The family I matched with had four children aged 1 to 13 (while I was open for all ages, "teenager" wasn't really on top of my list), in Bumf*** nowhere in the Midwest. Best. choice. ever. It wasn't all roses, of course, but generally it was a great experience for both sides, I think.
The first family to contact me was... odd. They did not offer any information about their family other than number and age of children, location and their religion. They wanted me asap (two months before finishing high school - I was available from late June / early July, they wanted April, the mom did ask me if I couldn't quit school early - a family in which education valued that little and who expected me to drop out for a gap year would not have been a good choice for me, education is something I value highly), which simply wasn't possible. Their interview style was repeating the same question over and over and over again (What would you do if the youngest tried to touch the hot stove? [answer] What if he didn't stop? [answer] What if he still didn't stop? [I don't know... I have suggested redirecting, getting down on eye level... what do you want to hear? You haven't mentioned anything about how you discipline your children and I don't know the kids...). They also told me they didn't want their AP to travel (AP was coming to work, not to travel). That's pretty much all I remember - after an hour I didn't know the name of the children, what they enjoyed doing, what their schedule looked like, what their favorite color was... Oh and they told me their exAP (first AP) had just ran off, left a note on the kitchen table and disappeared over the weekend. That was why they needed a replacement asap. I just didn't think they were a good match for me. I don't think I would have matched with a family with an infant (< 6 months) and I don't think I would have matched with a family with only (pre)teens or a child 15+. I would not have matched with a family with more than two children at home all day (one of my friends was in a family with four children under the age of 5, including infant twins - I would have been a horrible choice for them). I would not have matched with a family that did not offer a fairly fixed schedule. I wouldn't have matched with a family in a suburb with no public transport without car access (during working hours and free time). |
Anonymous
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Former AP here.
What was important for me was location. I didn't want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere. |
Anonymous
| Should be location, max. 2 kids, all weekends off, cellphone not for working purposes only, paid transportation, 50-70$ weekly for food, good connection with HM. |
Anonymous
If you read the CCAP rematch documents, as I do for some crazy idea of fun, then you will see that CA APs rematch at a much higher rate than APs in other places, especially among extensions. Why? Because they picked location first. Go read the response from the AP above who ended up in the midwest. She did exactly the opposite of what you say to do (pick location first, the number of kids second, and then perks perks perks), and she ended up happy. Anyone who thinks that a good location will determine a good year beyond all else has not actually been an AP (or a HP). |
Anonymous
| Can't agree, location is the only one factor that is guaranteed, easy to check and is crucial if going to the USA as an Au pair. The rest like paydays, shedule, personalities of HP and their children, access to facilities/priviliges might be totally different than described by HP on skype during few calls and emails. |
Anonymous
I actually think this does a disservice to incoming au pairs. ALL weekends off? $70/week in food? I don't know anyone who offers all of this. And if an AP is holding out for these benefits they may not end up with the right family for them...or any family at all. |
Anonymous
| Au pair has to be picky because it's about her safety, fulfillment and happiness during the whole year. Happy Au pair equals happy kids. |
Anonymous
Said no HP ever. |
Anonymous
Good luck with that. |
Anonymous
Is this au pair the same one a HM complains about in another forum for spending her entire year in her room? Maybe she’s not watching Netflix. She’s on dcum complaining about life as an AP. |
Anonymous
They live and work with their HFs though. The greatest city won't make for a great year if HF and AP expectations and requirements aren't a good match though. It doesn't matter if the HF is in DC or NYC or LA, if the relationship between HF and AP is crap. Yes, a good location is/can be a plus when everybode is generally happy anyways but when the circumstances aren't right, the location won't be a major factor to relieve the APs unhappiness. I'd generally advise an AP to find a HF they are happy with and not look at the location. Yes, there are limits to the rule. If you are a party girl the most perfect HF on a horse ranch in Montana, an hour away from the next AP, will not be for you. An AP might not want to live in Morristown, AZ without a car for a year (unless their goal is a year of sitting in their room to watch Netflix) as there will be a severly limited possibility for interaction with young adults their age. But it doesn't really matter which suburb you end up with - shopping will be the same everywhere and for touristy things they can travel on their weekends, during their vacation and in their travel month. |
Anonymous
| Maybe but if things won't go well and their match won't be good Au pair is the one who will loose. She will be lonely and totally dependent on HF. If the Au pair lives in a big city with public transportation there will be a lot of people to who she can turn to. |
Anonymous
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Times have changrd and APs are much more knowledgeable about what is out there now. Whrn i was an AP back in thr stone ages, I looked for school aged kids and a home without extensive "rules". This weeded out families that didnt quite realize they are hiring adults.
As a HM, i will not match with an AP that seems in thr least bit introverted. After an awful year of an AP who sat in his room watching Netflix during his free time, i never ever want that again. |