single mom of a 3 year old/law enforcement officer/shift work/child care issues

[Anonymous]

OP, is your ex paying child support? If not, you need to make getting it a priority to afford more childcare. If that is not an option, you must find a job with regular hours. I'm sorry that you are struggling. My SIL had the same issue and she declared bankrupcy because she was putting everything on credit cards to support her two kids with little support from her ex. She had to refuse extra work in order to get to the family daycare by the end of their day (7pm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your ex paying child support? If not, you need to make getting it a priority to afford more childcare. If that is not an option, you must find a job with regular hours. I'm sorry that you are struggling. My SIL had the same issue and she declared bankrupcy because she was putting everything on credit cards to support her two kids with little support from her ex. She had to refuse extra work in order to get to the family daycare by the end of their day (7pm).

The thing about child support is that, if you accept it, you are obligated to have some sort of custody agreement. OP explained that she was in an abusive relationship, it stands to reason that she doesn't want to have anything to do with her ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your ex paying child support? If not, you need to make getting it a priority to afford more childcare. If that is not an option, you must find a job with regular hours. I'm sorry that you are struggling. My SIL had the same issue and she declared bankrupcy because she was putting everything on credit cards to support her two kids with little support from her ex. She had to refuse extra work in order to get to the family daycare by the end of their day (7pm).

The thing about child support is that, if you accept it, you are obligated to have some sort of custody agreement. OP explained that she was in an abusive relationship, it stands to reason that she doesn't want to have anything to do with her ex.

Oh no no no no...if there is documented abuse and a restraining order in place, he is still on board for CS and can't come near the kid. At least for now...longer term issues remain, but thats the case whether there is child support or no.

OP, best of luck. You got this, girl! Believe it or not, the hard part is behind you and the rest is, in a way, just logistics. Get off shift work if you can. Reach out to the domestic violence shelters (they will be the best resources for child care assistance).

Best of luck!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you located OP? I am the above PP in L/E. I have a coworker who works the midnight shift and his wife travels a lot. They have their 2yo at a home daycare where she does overnights as well. I dont know exactly where but its in Moco and I can find out if youre in that area.

I am actually in MOCO too. I would leave you my email address so we could talk more but after seeing all the negative people on here I'm not sure id want the trolls in my inbox.

Set up an email address just for finding childcare, a lot of parents do that, and most nannies/babysitters have separate work and personal emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is your ex paying child support? If not, you need to make getting it a priority to afford more childcare. If that is not an option, you must find a job with regular hours. I'm sorry that you are struggling. My SIL had the same issue and she declared bankrupcy because she was putting everything on credit cards to support her two kids with little support from her ex. She had to refuse extra work in order to get to the family daycare by the end of their day (7pm).

The thing about child support is that, if you accept it, you are obligated to have some sort of custody agreement. OP explained that she was in an abusive relationship, it stands to reason that she doesn't want to have anything to do with her ex.

No, there doesn't have to be shared custody. If OP can prove abuse, all visitation can be mandated to be supervised in the Friend of the Court's office, or by another neutral third party (heck, my grandmother supervised when my father visited us).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you looking for a nanny?

after almost getting my head chopped off reading all the comments I think I was using the wrong word... I'm pretty sure I meant babysitter.

They're really the same thing. Except one is entitled and the other isnt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you looking for a nanny?

after almost getting my head chopped off reading all the comments I think I was using the wrong word... I'm pretty sure I meant babysitter.

They're really the same thing. Except one is entitled and the other isnt.

Then you must have a sitter so you can pay her half as much, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you looking for a nanny?

after almost getting my head chopped off reading all the comments I think I was using the wrong word... I'm pretty sure I meant babysitter.

They're really the same thing. Except one is entitled and the other isnt.

Stop. Really. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP. I do feel for you. I almost cry when I read your thread.

Try care.com or I would recommend that if you know some foreigners friends, for me, Indian and parkistani friends, they may know some ethnic persons. These people could be very experience nanny but older and unable to speak good English despite having citizen or perm res status in the USA. They usually want to work for lower than market rates as they mostly have grown up kids whom are well off and just want to have somethings to do. That how my foreign friends during residency had got their nannies.

[Anonymous]

What about finding a 24 hour daycare? There are some good centers and in home daycares that provide care 24 hours a day. Yes your child won't be in their own bed but it will be your cheapest route. Most people willing to babysit won't be able to work overnights as they will be high school or college age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry OP. I do feel for you. I almost cry when I read your thread.

Try care.com or I would recommend that if you know some foreigners friends, for me, Indian and parkistani friends, they may know some ethnic persons. These people could be very experience nanny but older and unable to speak good English despite having citizen or perm res status in the USA. They usually want to work for lower than market rates as they mostly have grown up kids whom are well off and just want to have somethings to do. That how my foreign friends during residency had got their nannies.

Wonderful idea because it is just fine to screw older women who do not speak English very well. They do not deserve to be paid for their time and are so stupid they will work for $3.00/an hour.

People should not have children if they cannot afford them! Nobody owes OP or anyone else free childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry OP. I do feel for you. I almost cry when I read your thread.

Try care.com or I would recommend that if you know some foreigners friends, for me, Indian and parkistani friends, they may know some ethnic persons. These people could be very experience nanny but older and unable to speak good English despite having citizen or perm res status in the USA. They usually want to work for lower than market rates as they mostly have grown up kids whom are well off and just want to have somethings to do. That how my foreign friends during residency had got their nannies.

Wonderful idea because it is just fine to screw older women who do not speak English very well. They do not deserve to be paid for their time and are so stupid they will work for $3.00/an hour.

People should not have children if they cannot afford them! Nobody owes OP or anyone else free childcare.

Oh shut the hell up you bitter bitch! Hope you never have to go through a hardship in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry OP. I do feel for you. I almost cry when I read your thread.

Try care.com or I would recommend that if you know some foreigners friends, for me, Indian and parkistani friends, they may know some ethnic persons. These people could be very experience nanny but older and unable to speak good English despite having citizen or perm res status in the USA. They usually want to work for lower than market rates as they mostly have grown up kids whom are well off and just want to have somethings to do. That how my foreign friends during residency had got their nannies.

Wonderful idea because it is just fine to screw older women who do not speak English very well. They do not deserve to be paid for their time and are so stupid they will work for $3.00/an hour.

People should not have children if they cannot afford them! Nobody owes OP or anyone else free childcare.

Oh shut the hell up you bitter bitch! Hope you never have to go through a hardship in your life.

Look, we ALL have hardships believe it or not. Barter.

[Anonymous]

Hardships like needing a law enforcement officer? I am certainly ashamed of this OP shining a light on our failures as a society.

[Anonymous]

Well I am a sham and I could help but, there is not contact number or any way to get in touch so how you are going to get help OP? if you are not focus on finding a person willing to give you a hand.