taking care of sick children

[Anonymous]

Our nanny gets a week of paid sick leave. We expect her to watch our kids when they're sick, or when we're home sick during her normal working hours. And we expect her to stay home and take leave if she has anything contagious beyond a cold.

I thought that was pretty standard? And one of the huge pluses of a nanny vs daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny gets a week of paid sick leave. We expect her to watch our kids when they're sick, or when we're home sick during her normal working hours. And we expect her to stay home and take leave if she has anything contagious beyond a cold.

I thought that was pretty standard? And one of the huge pluses of a nanny vs daycare?

What you're describing is optimal, but not exactly standard. Not all nannies get sick leave. I've had to fight tooth and nail to get it before. It is also an unfortunate fact that nannies are often discouraged from using sick leave even if they get it. That is one reason why some nannies may not be okay with caring for sick children. Another reason is that your nanny may have other commitments or responsibilities that come first and require her to stay healthy, like a second job, school, or her own children at home.

If having a nanny care for your sick children is a must for you, it should be discussed up front and no you should not assume that it comes with having a nanny. Neither nannies nor daycare workers want to catch your kid's cold. All nannies are different and they draw different lines. Some nannies won't care for a kid with a temperature higher than X, others don't care. Some won't deal with stomach bugs. Some are uncomfortable caring for very sick infants. You just have to be clear on your expectations when hiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny gets a week of paid sick leave. We expect her to watch our kids when they're sick, or when we're home sick during her normal working hours. And we expect her to stay home and take leave if she has anything contagious beyond a cold.

I thought that was pretty standard? And one of the huge pluses of a nanny vs daycare?

What you're describing is optimal, but not exactly standard. Not all nannies get sick leave. I've had to fight tooth and nail to get it before. It is also an unfortunate fact that nannies are often discouraged from using sick leave even if they get it. That is one reason why some nannies may not be okay with caring for sick children. Another reason is that your nanny may have other commitments or responsibilities that come first and require her to stay healthy, like a second job, school, or her own children at home.

If having a nanny care for your sick children is a must for you, it should be discussed up front and no you should not assume that it comes with having a nanny. Neither nannies nor daycare workers want to catch your kid's cold. All nannies are different and they draw different lines. Some nannies won't care for a kid with a temperature higher than X, others don't care. Some won't deal with stomach bugs. Some are uncomfortable caring for very sick infants. You just have to be clear on your expectations when hiring.

What are you talking about? My kids usually bring all these crappy viruses from preschool and not the other way around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny gets a week of paid sick leave. We expect her to watch our kids when they're sick, or when we're home sick during her normal working hours. And we expect her to stay home and take leave if she has anything contagious beyond a cold.

I thought that was pretty standard? And one of the huge pluses of a nanny vs daycare?

What you're describing is optimal, but not exactly standard. Not all nannies get sick leave. I've had to fight tooth and nail to get it before. It is also an unfortunate fact that nannies are often discouraged from using sick leave even if they get it. That is one reason why some nannies may not be okay with caring for sick children. Another reason is that your nanny may have other commitments or responsibilities that come first and require her to stay healthy, like a second job, school, or her own children at home.

If having a nanny care for your sick children is a must for you, it should be discussed up front and no you should not assume that it comes with having a nanny. Neither nannies nor daycare workers want to catch your kid's cold. All nannies are different and they draw different lines. Some nannies won't care for a kid with a temperature higher than X, others don't care. Some won't deal with stomach bugs. Some are uncomfortable caring for very sick infants. You just have to be clear on your expectations when hiring.

Exactly. I care for sick children and have no issue with it unless it is non stop vomiting. Last year I got a really bad nano virus from the kids. I called in sick after spending the night on the bathroom floor. I was told to come in and that they have a great bucket for me to throw up in. I declined but was made to feel like shit.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you actually told the nanny you're fed up with this behavior? Surely she recognizes that you don't have unlimited sick leave to cover your kids' sick days, her sick days, and your own sick days?

If you don't have unlimited leave, neither can she. Stop paying her when she doesn't come in if the kids are sick, and , honestly, I wouldn't wait to find someone new. I'd hire a temp from Seeking Sitters or somewhere and tell her it just isn't working out anymore.

[Anonymous]

A sick child wants its own mother. Can you not do what every parent at day care does and use your vacation time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A sick child wants its own mother. Can you not do what every parent at day care does and use your vacation time?

The reason I am paying nanny fees over daycare is so that I can actually have vacation time left to take vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A sick child wants its own mother. Can you not do what every parent at day care does and use your vacation time?

The reason I am paying nanny fees over daycare is so that I can actually have vacation time left to take vacations.

no
it is so that you do not have to take the kid to the day care and the convenience.
This does not change the fact that a sick child wants its own mother. What kind of a mother will not want to be there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A sick child wants its own mother. Can you not do what every parent at day care does and use your vacation time?

The reason I am paying nanny fees over daycare is so that I can actually have vacation time left to take vacations.

no
it is so that you do not have to take the kid to the day care and the convenience.
This does not change the fact that a sick child wants its own mother. What kind of a mother will not want to be there?

Your rants are so tired and just a waste of your energy. Truly useless.

[Anonymous]

As long as we're at it, what kind of father wouldn't want to be there to care for his sick child? Oh wait...dads get a pass. Only moms are supposed to feel guilty.

Kids are all different. All four of mine have different levels of neediness. But we've had really great nannies and the kids have bonded really well with our nannies, so they're perfectly comfortable with the nanny as well as with me.

For you nannies who are declaring that sick kids always want their mothers - maybe it's not the kid, it's you - not much of a bond there and the kid wants someone who really cares about him/her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as we're at it, what kind of father wouldn't want to be there to care for his sick child? Oh wait...dads get a pass. Only moms are supposed to feel guilty.

Kids are all different. All four of mine have different levels of neediness. But we've had really great nannies and the kids have bonded really well with our nannies, so they're perfectly comfortable with the nanny as well as with me.

For you nannies who are declaring that sick kids always want their mothers - maybe it's not the kid, it's you - not much of a bond there and the kid wants someone who really cares about him/her.

Why are you being defensive? There was one poster who said kids want their moms. That post could easily have said "dad" so chill out. And my charges adore me. That doesn't mean they aren't more happy at the end of the day to see their parents. It doesn't mean that they don't jump out of my arms and reach for mom when they're upset. This is normal, and has nothing to do with our bond. I have the bond with them that a nanny should, while their mother/father have a different and stronger bond. The more of that parental role, bonding type duties that you hire out, the more likely your kid will have as strong if not a stronger bond to that caregiver than to you. If I'm the one who's there in the morning, tucking in at night, feeding them all their meals, kissing the boo boos, and celebrating their acheivements, while you worship the almighty dollar from your cubicle, damn right they'll have no particular preference for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as we're at it, what kind of father wouldn't want to be there to care for his sick child? Oh wait...dads get a pass. Only moms are supposed to feel guilty.

Kids are all different. All four of mine have different levels of neediness. But we've had really great nannies and the kids have bonded really well with our nannies, so they're perfectly comfortable with the nanny as well as with me.

For you nannies who are declaring that sick kids always want their mothers - maybe it's not the kid, it's you - not much of a bond there and the kid wants someone who really cares about him/her.

Someone called you out on what anyone with half a brain,and who's spent five seconds with a sick kid, knows to be true and you start taking shots and making excuses.

What about the dads??? They're not there either, so I'm absolved of all guilt!!!
My kids are equally bonded to their nanny as they are to the woman who gave birth to them!!!
You nannies [said with the pissy attitude and finger pointing of a child not getting their way] must not be doing your(my) job right!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as we're at it, what kind of father wouldn't want to be there to care for his sick child? Oh wait...dads get a pass. Only moms are supposed to feel guilty.

Kids are all different. All four of mine have different levels of neediness. But we've had really great nannies and the kids have bonded really well with our nannies, so they're perfectly comfortable with the nanny as well as with me.

For you nannies who are declaring that sick kids always want their mothers - maybe it's not the kid, it's you - not much of a bond there and the kid wants someone who really cares about him/her.

Why are you being defensive? There was one poster who said kids want their moms. That post could easily have said "dad" so chill out. And my charges adore me. That doesn't mean they aren't more happy at the end of the day to see their parents. It doesn't mean that they don't jump out of my arms and reach for mom when they're upset. This is normal, and has nothing to do with our bond. I have the bond with them that a nanny should, while their mother/father have a different and stronger bond. The more of that parental role, bonding type duties that you hire out, the more likely your kid will have as strong if not a stronger bond to that caregiver than to you. If I'm the one who's there in the morning, tucking in at night, feeding them all their meals, kissing the boo boos, and celebrating their acheivements, while you worship the almighty dollar from your cubicle, damn right they'll have no particular preference for you.

I totally agree w/ the mother of 4 above. Every word.

Why would someone feel defensive in response to posts like yours? Seriously? Because they are offensive, presumptive, ill-informed, and driven by a bias and anger that has nothing to do with any specific knowledge of anyone's circumstance. You're not tucking my kids in at night, I don't worship the almighty dollar from a cubicle, I haven't "hired out bonding duties" (which is a completely nonsensical thing BTW), and my children are perfectly capable of loving their nanny, their grandparents, their extended family, and me. And I trump all (except occasionally Daddy), but every single one of those people is perfectly capable of caring for my kids if/when they have a cold, need some snuggles, etc... More love and attentive care in a child's world does not equate to absentee or neglectful parenting.

Show me a nanny who posts your kind of rants and I know it's someone who has never had children of their own.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I cannot wait to be done with nannying. Can't stand you bitches. The way you treat your children, let alone the people you hire to care for them, it sickens me. Nanny care simply attracts the worst kind of self absorbed parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. I cannot wait to be done with nannying. Can't stand you bitches. The way you treat your children, let alone the people you hire to care for them, it sickens me. Nanny care simply attracts the worst kind of self absorbed parents.

This is your view of your profession? You have no business doing it. Go try to find someplace where your venom is useful. Here you're just laughable.