Live in nanny and going on vacation without a kid

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you need to just pay her a flat rate for the overnights and leave it at that. If anything she deserves a higher bonus for taking on child care 24/7 for a week. As a mom I'm thinking that your child may not be the happiest while you're gone and is likely to need extra TLC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny...I have my degree and have 11 years of full time nanny experience...I'm in the minority here but I would probably just keep the kids the week and chalk it up to "it all coming out in the wash"....I try to go above and beyond and my NFs have done the same for me....My NF got a puppy an she was nuts...more work than the kids. Even though it was a lot of work, I never complained or asked for more money. I thought "how can I support this family more"....guess what. When I needed a new car last year my NF bought it for me in cash. It's mine...I don't even drive the kids in it.and it's brand new....I have never had a new car in my life.

Good for you? But as OP said, they're middle class and worried about an extra couple of hundred dollars toward their vacation. I hardly think they are able or willing to grace their nanny with a new car (which is exceptional even among well off families). It isn't fair to expect the nanny to work 24/7 for her regular weekly pay in the hopes that it'll somehow, someway be made up to her.

[Anonymous]

Dear God, OP, are you THAT obtuse? This is common sense. She's watching the kids overnight, which means she's responsible for them for those hours. Which means you need to PAY her for her responsibilities. What do you not understand? If you can't afford the extra few hundred, then don't go away overnight...

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom who can't get my head around
1) why a person would leave their child for a week to go on vacation
2) why she would refuse to pay the nanny for 12 of the 24 hours a day she is working.

Putting aside the obvious disregard for the nanny's right to compensation, why oh why would you do anything to risk pissing off the person who will be responsible for keeping your precious child safe while you're sunbathing and sipping on cocktails?

She has already expressed her displeasure in your joke of an offer for the extra hours. People here (MB's and nannies alike) are angered by your proposal, I can only imagine how upset your nanny must be. Maybe she's one of the nannies who put up with this kind of employer abuse because she doesn't want to go back to the mid-west and feels she has no choice but to stay. At what point will she decide enough is enough and just snap? Don't you read the news?

Mother to mother, can our priorities really be that vastly different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I need advice and would appreciate some help.
We have a live in nanny and pay to her $600 a week for 5 days. We are going on vacation for a week, and leaving a kid with her home. So we thought of paying her the usual $600 + $240 for Saturday Sunday, and we thought of adding a little extra say about another $100. However, the nanny brought up pay for the nights we are away. I am not sure how to handle this. I feel that we already pay her for 2 weeks of vacation, 6 federal holidays and are planning to give her a bonus in the amount of 4-weeks salary at the end of the year.
Please note, that she stays with us all the time, all her meals are provided. She has very good living conditions on the same floor as everybody else and there are some other perks here and there. She seems very happy how we treat her. I was caught by surprise when she asked about a pay for night hours.

Any input? thank you!

She is working extra hours that she is not normally working and getting paid for. Pay her for the nights, don't be a cheap ass. The rest that you say you give her are benefits that have been negotiated and don't replace her 5 nights that week that she is stuck home with your kids and is working 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB here. I went to an out of state wedding and my nanny kept the kids because kids were not allowed at the wedding. I paid my nanny for awake hours only and this was at her suggestion. My children do not need care at night and the nanny slept a solid 8 hours each night. Also, while it rarely happens, our nanny was hired with the condition she knew we would need occasional weekend babysitting and overnights. In 5 years we've needed these about 5 times. Our nanny has been totally okay with our arrangement. Thank goodness! I'm not sure what I would do with a nanny that started a nickel and dime approach to things, nor would I do that to her.

It is standard for the nanny to charge a flat rate for the sleeping hours, usually $50-100 each night depending on the age(s) of your child(ren) and if they wake up etc. This is not a nickel and dime thing. It is being paid for being on call. She cannot leave during those hours, she cannot tell the child to not bother her if they wake up and need something. If the child gets sick, has a fever, has to go to the emergency room, she has to be there and then awake to deal with it. So you pay her for that. Unless you want your children to suffer while she gets her sleep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to pay her, at a minimum every day from when your child wakes, until they go to bed. For a live-in employee, I believe you can legally deduct 8 hours of sleeping time IF she will get to sleep. If you are leaving a baby or toddler that may need her in the night, you'll need to pay for night time as well. You sound like a generous employer, so I'm surprised that you think its okay to not pay her for the extra evening hours. The rest of her benefits (meals, leave, bonus) have nothing to do with your obligation to pay her for the extra hours she will work.

Also, if she lives on the same floor as your family, I promise you her "living conditions" are not as awesome as you think they are. No one wants to live literally at work right up under their boss, no matter how nice the "office" is.

You sound like an angry troll. From your post, there is no desirable accommodation for a live-in nanny. So why do they exist? I'm just hoping you're not a nanny and oh so happy you're not mine!

The PP was telling you the truth. No one really wants to be on the same floor, next to the kids bedroom or in the middle of your living space. While I have to put up with hearing kids above my head (and other movement), my ground floor bedroom is MUCH better than being on the same floor as the other bedrooms and/or kitchen and living room. If there is an in-law apartment, that is even better. Live-ins exist because it is convenient to the family and cheaper for them, and it can be convenient for the nanny by having no commute and usually saving on the price of rent and utilities. But there are definitely times that I think about getting my own place (or with a friend). Even though I "pay" only $800 for a room that is worth about $1000 in my area, and don't pay any utilities and get some other perks as well, I get all these "discounts" and perks because I am putting up with living with your kids and usually dealing with them still even in my off hours. Living with kids is always a "con" in the list of pros and cons, no matter how sweet they are and how much we love them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is here - it's a full time job with a salary and not an hourly rate. If I have to stay late in the office, i am not getting paid extra. It gets reflected on my bonus or some nice perk like dinner in the office or cab ride home. What is bonus for? it's for situations like this - when employee goes beyond his direct responsibilities. Sounds fine, i pay for nights, but no bonus shall be expected or at least not in the amounts we planned. There was nothing extra and beyond.
As for the leaving conditions, I am sure a darker basement is better, than a nice room in the corner with a separate bathroom. we should have thought of that. I am sure should would love walk up the stairs 2 floors all the time, especially at night.

Sorry, but nannies are domestic workers that get paid hourly rates, not salaries. So you need to pay for every hour worked. You can say it is x amount each week if normally doing a set number of hours, but you need to pay more when going over that.

[Anonymous]

I also think that if your nanny is getting up with the little one every third night, which I think it what you said, she should also be getting paid for those nights. That is a lot to ask her to do without additional compensation.

[Anonymous]

I love when people post here - get pretty solid advice (only a few PPs were rude) and then get huffy becasue it did not match what they had in mind. Consensus is universal, OP, that you were not correct in: a) thinking nanny pay can be treated the same an an office worker's salary; and b) thinking that not paying nanny anything at all for sleeping hours was just fine.
Your solution - cut back a bit on your VERY generous plan for the bonus is totally fine. What's weird is that you seem intent on doing that as a punishment of the nanny rather than simply a math equation of "well, we have x dollars to psend on nanny for the rest of the year so the extra has to come from somewhere".

[Anonymous]

My understanding is that most nannies in New England (NYC included) are paid off the books. If that's the case with this nanny in Connecticut, then the whole thing is problematic.

[Anonymous]

If you like her, pay her. Hard finding good help nowadays.

[Anonymous]

OP, does the nanny know she's getting 4 weeks pay as a bonus? Just because you "plan on" paying her that doesn't mean she'll actually get it. What if someone happens unexpectedly and you can't afford to give her that much money?

I feel sorry for your nanny. If I were her, I'd spend the week you're gone job searching.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a huge B, OP. Good luck finding a nanny when this one finally gathers up the nerve (and resources) to quit!

[Anonymous]

OP you are crazy if you think a nanny should work for free at night. Who the hell do you think you are??? My MB is not a jerk like you and I'm paid for every hour the kids are awake plus $100 each night.