Weekly playdates with DS and nanny's son - thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fanthom poster here. No sorry I'd never leave my 10 month old to come give the same love and attention to your 10 month old 50 hours a week, sorry. However I'd be more than willing to bring my child a long to give them both love and attention! 50 hours a week is a lot to not be able to see my child. That's why I only accept nanny positions where my son is allowed. I was contacted for a position that would pay $1000/wk and turned down the interview because my son couldn't be brought with me. It's not about the money to everyone ya know. Being able to see my child is VERY important to me.

When you interview with women who leave their children to go to work to put food on the table and pay your salary, do you tell them that you think their lives are all about money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your DH at this age.

1) Your baby is at a stage where he needs attention and love and what if nanny is giving more attention and love to her own child. Your baby will feel somewhat replaced.

2) Your child will see the other baby playing with his/her toys and might go for it and nanny will probably say in a silly voice "we need to share".. Your baby is to young to understand sharing and will think nanny is favoring her baby.

3) If theres a fire or intruder who will nanny go to first? Tough to swallow but most likely her own baby.

4) Less one on one attention.

5) Nanny will start getting use to this situation and want more 'playdates'

6) You lose out on more food, diapers, wipes, etc. (because I doubt nanny will use her supplies for her kid)

7) If her child likes to watch a certain show while your baby likes another cartoon guess what show they're going to watch? Nanny's baby's show.

8) Nap times will be a problem.

9) Nanny will be more exausted chasing double.

The list goes on.. Now yes, maybe I'm looking at all the negatives but like another PP mentioned, this does nothing for your child at this point. Socializing should come around the toddler stage but right now your baby needs love, stability and comfort. I'm not saying this playdate will ruin him/her lol but lets face it.. You and your child lose out much more then you gain.

You say that the child is too young to understand "sharing" but they can feel "replaced"? Seriously, if any child would feel replaced it would be the nanny's kid.


#3 wow. What would you do in this situation if you had 2 or more kids? you would take them both.
#4 do kids really need CONSTANT one on one attention?
#7: again, they are only 11 months, I dont think that they have super strong tv preferences
#9: I think she would deal with it.

-an MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your DH at this age.

1) Your baby is at a stage where he needs attention and love and what if nanny is giving more attention and love to her own child. Your baby will feel somewhat replaced.

2) Your child will see the other baby playing with his/her toys and might go for it and nanny will probably say in a silly voice "we need to share".. Your baby is to young to understand sharing and will think nanny is favoring her baby.

3) If theres a fire or intruder who will nanny go to first? Tough to swallow but most likely her own baby.

4) Less one on one attention.

5) Nanny will start getting use to this situation and want more 'playdates'

6) You lose out on more food, diapers, wipes, etc. (because I doubt nanny will use her supplies for her kid)

7) If her child likes to watch a certain show while your baby likes another cartoon guess what show they're going to watch? Nanny's baby's show.

8) Nap times will be a problem.

9) Nanny will be more exausted chasing double.

The list goes on.. Now yes, maybe I'm looking at all the negatives but like another PP mentioned, this does nothing for your child at this point. Socializing should come around the toddler stage but right now your baby needs love, stability and comfort. I'm not saying this playdate will ruin him/her lol but lets face it.. You and your child lose out much more then you gain.

You say that the child is too young to understand "sharing" but they can feel "replaced"? Seriously, if any child would feel replaced it would be the nanny's kid.


#3 wow. What would you do in this situation if you had 2 or more kids? you would take them both.
#4 do kids really need CONSTANT one on one attention?
#7: again, they are only 11 months, I dont think that they have super strong tv preferences
#9: I think she would deal with it.

-an MB

Excellent points, PP. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Never let a nanny bring her child to work unless you need a nanny share. If she wants to pay half of a share and you're ok with it, then be very careful, up your insurance to cover your additional liability, and go ahead.

Honestly, though, there is no other benefit to families besides the cost saving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never let a nanny bring her child to work unless you need a nanny share. If she wants to pay half of a share and you're ok with it, then be very careful, up your insurance to cover your additional liability, and go ahead.

Honestly, though, there is no other benefit to families besides the cost saving.

The ignorance of her thinking (or lack of) is appalling.

[Anonymous]

Not nearly as appalling as your baseless sense of entitlement, 12:22.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not nearly as appalling as your baseless sense of entitlement, 12:22.

Have you even ever had a nanny bring her child? If so, how do you feel your child was shortchanged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fanthom poster here. No sorry I'd never leave my 10 month old to come give the same love and attention to your 10 month old 50 hours a week, sorry. However I'd be more than willing to bring my child a long to give them both love and attention! 50 hours a week is a lot to not be able to see my child. That's why I only accept nanny positions where my son is allowed. I was contacted for a position that would pay $1000/wk and turned down the interview because my son couldn't be brought with me. It's not about the money to everyone ya know. Being able to see my child is VERY important to me.

When you interview with women who leave their children to go to work to put food on the table and pay your salary, do you tell them that you think their lives are all about money?

I'm a nanny so I'm not interviewing anyone. And I have no problem with women who work 50 hours a week and aren't able to see/bring their kids. Just not my personal preference. And to me there is a huge difference of going into an office 50 hours a week vs taking care of another child your child's age. How could you look at that other child and not once miss your own and wish you were raising them? If you are spending that much time with another child and not your own its hard to understand how much time you actually get to spend with your own kids... But whatever floats your boat!

[Anonymous]

Pp again. And the "it's not about the money to everyone" comment was in response to someone who said its all about the money as to why women would leave there kids behind to nanny other children. I was simply saying its not about the money to me so that's why I'd turn down a position where I couldn't bring my child. And maybe or maybe not others would agree. I wasn't saying its all about the money and that's why other women go work high paying jobs. Did you read the entire thread? Seems you misinterpreted wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with your DH at this age.

1) Your baby is at a stage where he needs attention and love and what if nanny is giving more attention and love to her own child. Your baby will feel somewhat replaced.

2) Your child will see the other baby playing with his/her toys and might go for it and nanny will probably say in a silly voice "we need to share".. Your baby is to young to understand sharing and will think nanny is favoring her baby.

3) If theres a fire or intruder who will nanny go to first? Tough to swallow but most likely her own baby.

4) Less one on one attention.

5) Nanny will start getting use to this situation and want more 'playdates'

6) You lose out on more food, diapers, wipes, etc. (because I doubt nanny will use her supplies for her kid)

7) If her child likes to watch a certain show while your baby likes another cartoon guess what show they're going to watch? Nanny's baby's show.

8) Nap times will be a problem.

9) Nanny will be more exausted chasing double.

The list goes on.. Now yes, maybe I'm looking at all the negatives but like another PP mentioned, this does nothing for your child at this point. Socializing should come around the toddler stage but right now your baby needs love, stability and comfort. I'm not saying this playdate will ruin him/her lol but lets face it.. You and your child lose out much more then you gain.

You say that the child is too young to understand "sharing" but they can feel "replaced"? Seriously, if any child would feel replaced it would be the nanny's kid.


#3 wow. What would you do in this situation if you had 2 or more kids? you would take them both.
#4 do kids really need CONSTANT one on one attention?
#7: again, they are only 11 months, I dont think that they have super strong tv preferences
#9: I think she would deal with it.

-an MB

Well said, 20:33.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fanthom poster here. No sorry I'd never leave my 10 month old to come give the same love and attention to your 10 month old 50 hours a week, sorry. However I'd be more than willing to bring my child a long to give them both love and attention! 50 hours a week is a lot to not be able to see my child. That's why I only accept nanny positions where my son is allowed. I was contacted for a position that would pay $1000/wk and turned down the interview because my son couldn't be brought with me. It's not about the money to everyone ya know. Being able to see my child is VERY important to me.

When you interview with women who leave their children to go to work to put food on the table and pay your salary, do you tell them that you think their lives are all about money?

I'm a nanny so I'm not interviewing anyone. And I have no problem with women who work 50 hours a week and aren't able to see/bring their kids. Just not my personal preference. And to me there is a huge difference of going into an office 50 hours a week vs taking care of another child your child's age. How could you look at that other child and not once miss your own and wish you were raising them? If you are spending that much time with another child and not your own its hard to understand how much time you actually get to spend with your own kids... But whatever floats your boat!

So you think women who do childcare for a living miss their children more vs. women who work in offices? Really? Do you think there's something therapeutic about being at the office that makes you NOT miss your child? And you aren't "spending time with that child." You're working. Just like his mother is working at the office to put food on his table and pay your salary while you tend to her child. There is nothing unique or particular about your job that makes you more deserving of spending time with your own child.

[Anonymous]

! When my DD was younger I took her to work with me she was treated the same as my chrages by me. Parents loved the fact the boys always had someone to play with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
! When my DD was younger I took her to work with me she was treated the same as my chrages by me. Parents loved the fact the boys always had someone to play with

There are lots of these great arrangements. Congratulations for making it work.

[Anonymous]

If my nanny had a kid I would be fine with daily playdates with her and my children especially if the aunt was there as well. I would be fine with her bringing her child with her to work even. I want a happy nanny.

But I work from home and so would get to monitor the interaction a bit and so feel confident that it was a good situation.