Would you hire a nanny in this situation (Fiance just passed away)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the problem. I was hired in may and told my employers that my dad had stage 4 lymphoma. He died in sept. they were totally fine hiring me..

I'm so sorry for your loss.

The difference, although it's sometimes hard to recognize it during the various stages of grief, is that having a chance to say goodbye, preparing for the end with your family, and so on can make a huge difference in terms of your ability to cope after the death. I saw a survey a few months ago where most nurses said they hoped to die from cancer because they could see how much easier it was for patients and families to have that time to say goodbye together.

The loss of someone who's taken suddenly, very young and without warning, is often harder to cope with for those left behind - young and old alike.

[Anonymous]

OP you seem to be taking this a little TOO well if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Don't know if anyone cares but yes I was taking it to well. Went to my therapist and realized that it's not that I have been handling thing so well it is that I have been avoiding handling them at all. I've been using every defense mechanism in the book to keep myself from feeling what I now know I need to be feeling right now. I was numbing myself but starting last night finally allowed myself (or forced myself, is more like it) to begin the grieving process again.

I thought that the worst was over (the 1st week I was in the grieving state) but now I am just realizing that it has just begun. I was just in denial this last week and a half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't know if anyone cares but yes I was taking it to well. Went to my therapist and realized that it's not that I have been handling thing so well it is that I have been avoiding handling them at all. I've been using every defense mechanism in the book to keep myself from feeling what I now know I need to be feeling right now. I was numbing myself but starting last night finally allowed myself (or forced myself, is more like it) to begin the grieving process again.

I thought that the worst was over (the 1st week I was in the grieving state) but now I am just realizing that it has just begun. I was just in denial this last week and a half.

Look into the 7 stages of grief. It's completely normal to feel the way you did.
If you really want to get out there and earn some money, I'd look into other options. For example, some preschools look for subs to help out the main teachers. Or you could do a class or two at a nearby Gymboree.
I would try to find something where it isn't just you and a child or two. That way, if you need to take a minute or two, you can. Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

I just am so puzzled as to why you feel it necessary or appropriate to treat this forum as your therapy session. You have disclosed A LOT of personal details to complete strangers on a nanny forum. That is so bizarre to me.