Employer appears to be sabotaging nanny's job prospects
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Anonymous
| We are still very close to our former nanny, who has been with a family for several years. She's ready to move on as she was told they no longer need full time care because their DC is now school age. She's been applying for other nanny positions but her boss refuses to give her a reference. She doesn't say why, just refuses to respond to prospective families so the jobs fall through. It seems like they've been happy with her since she's been with them for years. I feel bad for our former nanny because she desperately needs a job once she's done with this one. She's been turning to me for help and I'm happy to be a reference but most families want to speak with her most recent family. Is this unusual behavior? What gives? |
Anonymous
| Who knows. Families can be cruel. I met some of the nastiest MBs as a nanny. |
Anonymous
| That’s horrible. Only sick people get a power trip from something like this. Can she ask her current employer about it directly? |
Anonymous
| Were they hoping she would stay with them part time? How vindictive! |
Anonymous
| If she’s currently employed, she can say she’s unable to provide that family as a reference because she hasn’t told them she’s looking for another job. When I was interviewing nannies, several were employed and I wouldn’t have been surprised if they didn’t want their current families to know they were trying to leave. I was wary of nannies who just wanted a slightly shorter commute or more money because I didn’t want a nanny who is always looking for a better offer. But dropping from FT to PT hours is a reasonable explanation. |
Anonymous
| I’d quit and door dash if I had too. Her boss doesn’t respect her and she shouldn’t give her anymore time |
Anonymous
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The nanny needs to quit immediately with no explanation the same way that her nanny family refuses to give a reference with no explanation. You have to be extremely evil and selfish to want to stand in the way of the person who has provided you with reliable and quality childcare, stability and peace of mind for years just because you don’t want her to move on from a job you will no longer be offering her? It’s beyond selfish and just plain weird. You don’t want to employ her full time (reasonably so) because your child is older but yet don’t want your employee to leave? This is basically a definition of “I want my cake and eat it too” aka guy who mistreats you or doesn’t offer you the basics but doesn’t want someone else to have you either. That’s a very dark place to be as a human being.
Nannies beware of families like this and don’t give the benefit of the doubt. It is exactly what you think it is. Always include reference writing in your contract and put your foot down when they refuse by exiting with immediate effect. You can always explain the situation to prospective families as something beyond your control and try to have your previous families vouch for you to prove that you were infact recently employed. |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thank you all for your feedback. I don’t think the nanny can quit before securing another job unfortunately and it’s not in her character to do that anyway but this is incredibly selfish and ungrateful behavior by the MB IMO. |
Anonymous
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So sorry your former Nanny has to deal w/this…..
If I were her, I would be so frustrated!! Could it be possible that this Nanny Family is not providing a reference because they do not feel confident giving a good one? Or could they be paying their Nanny in cash, under the table & be afraid of being found out?? If they are intentionally sabotaging this Nanny (say because she will not go from FT ->> PT, etc.) then this NF is just cold + utterly ruthless! Perhaps you can be her reference and offer prospective families a glowing review so that they will consider hiring her. |
Anonymous
No it’s not a performance issue because she’s been with them for so long (more than 5 years). My understanding is that the MB doesn’t quite know exactly what she wants. Cash payment is also not an issue. It is mind-boggling to me because even if the nanny simply wanted a change, it is cruel to withhold a reference after 5+ years of loyal service! |
Anonymous
This. I’d ask them why they’re not calling people back and if they won’t give one quit on the spot. |
Anonymous
Only a fool would keep a nanny three years if they are uncomfortable giving a good reference. It's more likely they are angry about her leaving before they want her to leave. |
Anonymous
| A lot of families that were “normal” got mad when I gave notice. This is the one field where they can straight up get pissed and refuse a reference. They can refuse to pay you and so much more. The nanny field is so unregulated it’s scary but yet none of us go above and beyond. |
Anonymous
| I think you could be a great help to her finding a job. Spread the word in your circles that an excellent nanny will be available soon and list yourself as the contact. When they call for information, you can fill them in on the situation and tell them all the wonderful qualities she has. You should know what kind of comp package she would accept so you can answer those questions. I did this for a valued former nanny and their new employers told me that once they met her, they didn’t bother with other references because they knew I could be trusted. |
Anonymous
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How old is she? Restaurants are hiring, no experience needed, not references needed. She can make over $30 in no time. Super flexible and all the free food she can eat.
I'm trying to get into babysitting as 27 years in restaurants is plenty. Let's switch. |