Time off issues

[Anonymous]

I'd like some advice on how to have a conversation with our nanny about time off. Our contract is for 2 weeks of vacation, 5 sick days, and all the holidays that I have off from work. This seems standard to me. Our nanny has already used all of her sick time, asks for 1-3 days off every month, and plans to take 2.5 weeks of continuous vacation this summer. She also often asks to leave early. She has guaranteed hours, so if we are on vacation or have family visiting, she has off those days and is still paid. She takes a lot of time unpaid (despite me saying she should use all her paid time first and then we could discuss using unpaid), saying how she wants to be fair to us and not use too many paid days. Finding consistent backup care for so many sporadic days has been hard. I'm falling behind in work and using up all of my own PTO.

I have already told her how difficult it is for me to take off days from work here and there. I have said that the time off we put in the contract is less about what we're willing to pay for and more about how much time off we could take, which was my attempt to stop all of the unpaid time. I'm worried if I say no she will just call out sick in the morning or the night before. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Give her 2 weeks notice and have a new nanny start

[Anonymous]

She’s not reliable. I’d have a talk with her if you otherwise like her but if she can’t step up you need to look for someone else..

[Anonymous]

The first time she requested to take unpaid leave, you should have said no. It's sounds like you're approaching her as though you're offering advice ("You should use your paid days first") but you're NOT her buddy, you're her employer.

You can enforce this boundary now.

"Larla, we're no longer able to offer unpaid days off. You can, of course, use your paid vacation days however you'd like. You have X days left. However, you had mentioned wanting to take X+3 days off in the summer. That will not work for us - we need full time coverage and cannot handle backup care for more than the paid days off from your contract. If that is not workable for you, then I don't think this position is a good fit for you. I'll give you a few days to think about it. Let me know what you decide."

And if she goes over her PTO, fire her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first time she requested to take unpaid leave, you should have said no. It's sounds like you're approaching her as though you're offering advice ("You should use your paid days first") but you're NOT her buddy, you're her employer.

You can enforce this boundary now.

"Larla, we're no longer able to offer unpaid days off. You can, of course, use your paid vacation days however you'd like. You have X days left. However, you had mentioned wanting to take X+3 days off in the summer. That will not work for us - we need full time coverage and cannot handle backup care for more than the paid days off from your contract. If that is not workable for you, then I don't think this position is a good fit for you. I'll give you a few days to think about it. Let me know what you decide."

And if she goes over her PTO, fire her.

This is helpful, thank you! I suspect she would be much happier in a part-time position and may choose to part ways. We would want to find a way to make it work, but this really seems like it is not common for someone to need so much time off.

[Anonymous]

You need to talk to her. You need to tell her that any extra days of sick leave or vacation will be unpaid over the allotted amount and if she isn't going to be reliable you'll need to find new nanny as you can only work when she's working.

[Anonymous]

How many kids do you have, OP? The more kids the more challenging and physically demanding the nanny job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to her. You need to tell her that any extra days of sick leave or vacation will be unpaid over the allotted amount and if she isn't going to be reliable you'll need to find new nanny as you can only work when she's working.

Part of the issue is that she insists on taking unpaid time! It's created a situation where she thinks she has unlimited time off as long as it isn't paid. It's really the burnen of finding backup care so often and that when she wants to leave just an hour or two early, It's extremely hard to find someone to come for that short a period.

Anonymous wrote:How many kids do you have, OP? The more kids the more challenging and physically demanding the nanny job.

.

I have one 13 month old.

[Anonymous]

Very simple. Start looking for a new Nanny ASAP. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I think 1 day off a month is reasonable with notice, 2 are kind of OK with notice but not every month, 3 days would be too much for us unless she got sick and could not work. Just tell her, OP, about your difficulties and see if it gets better. I know someone who had 2 nannies in a row needing, believe or not, a surgery within 3 months of starting, at least that was what they said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to her. You need to tell her that any extra days of sick leave or vacation will be unpaid over the allotted amount and if she isn't going to be reliable you'll need to find new nanny as you can only work when she's working.

Part of the issue is that she insists on taking unpaid time! It's created a situation where she thinks she has unlimited time off as long as it isn't paid. It's really the burnen of finding backup care so often and that when she wants to leave just an hour or two early, It's extremely hard to find someone to come for that short a period.

Anonymous wrote:How many kids do you have, OP? The more kids the more challenging and physically demanding the nanny job.

.

I have one 13 month old.

You need a new nanny. Tell her you cannot work if you don't have child care and cannot be that flexible. Find someone else.

[Anonymous]

I would try to work with her. She may have no idea of OP's difficulties, or may experience health issues. It is easy to say "fire her" but for those familiar with trying to find a new nanny that is actually good, it is easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

sorry, it should be "nanny who is actually good"

[Anonymous]

We set things up so our nanny slowly accrues vacation time, based on how much time they've worked. They earn a half day off every two weeks of work. That way they can't have taken all their vacation time by the end of January, for example.

Also, you have to set expectations that no, they can't just take unpaid time off for more vacation - that's grounds for dismissal. People from different countries/cultures have different ways of doing things - you need to teach them the way it's done in the country where you're living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 1 day off a month is reasonable with notice, 2 are kind of OK with notice but not every month, 3 days would be too much for us unless she got sick and could not work. Just tell her, OP, about your difficulties and see if it gets better. I know someone who had 2 nannies in a row needing, believe or not, a surgery within 3 months of starting, at least that was what they said.

Most people have nannies so they can work. Most people aren't getting 12-24 days off a year just as a free day so coverage is a huge issue. Plus, if OP uses all their leave on days the nanny cannot work, they have no leave. So, nanny taking 1-2 days a month off, plus 2.5 weeks of vacation is absurd.