Playroom disaster
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Anonymous
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We have been normally very good about boundaries for responsibility. Nanny only does things related to the kids and we are meticulous about dishes so she never encounters our dishes when trying to make lunch or clean up. We do a night time straightening so that rooms are presentable if between nanny leaving and morning the kids make a mess (if.. haha they always do!) Nanny does a sweep with the kids about 30 min before she leaves and has the kids help put things in order.
Between a parent work issue, a medical issue, and. Two late school events, the past two days the playroom has been a mess when nanny has come to work. Lots of play clothes out, food from the play kitchen scattered about, Lego sets out, just lots of sections of mess. We have apologized and she knows this is not the norm, but would people suggest 1. Telling her to leave the mess and only clean up what they play 2. Since kids "help" although they are 18 months, 4 and 8, still the adult ends up doing some, it's ok to ask her to have it back in normal order at the end of the day 3. Tell her to leave it and play elsewhere until we can get it back in order |
Anonymous
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I am a Nanny & would advise either 1 or 3.
Definitely not 2. Because to expect her to have the playroom completely cleaned up would be an unfair responsibility for her. Yes, the kids MAY help - but that is unlikely especially due to their ages. It would be likely that the Nanny would be doing the majority of the straightening up here. |
Anonymous
| 2. Absolutely. And frankly she should just be doing it without being asked. |
Anonymous
| At 4 and 8 the kids should absolutely be helping to clean up. Actually the 8 yr old should be able to do it on their own. |
Anonymous
+1. It isn’t like she you are asking her to mop floors or dust your home. I don’t think it’s odd to expect her to tidy the play area. Also agree with the other post that the two older kids should be more self sufficient with this. |
Anonymous
Absolutely not. Kids made the mess on your watch. You clean it. And you know an 18mo and a 4yo make more work, not "help," with cleaning a room that's a mess. Come on. - parent, not a nanny |
Anonymous
This is one of a nanny's pet peeves! One rule for the parents and one for the nanny. I understand this isn't the norm but if the nanny cleans up on her shift the same should be done on yours. Also you are teaching your kids that they can get away with cleaning up with you and make it harder for her to get them to do it. My old charges got really smart and would say to their parents that it was a game they wanted to continue playing, so it was left. Then no kid wants to come into a messy room to have articulate play, so it never got cleaned up and I left it. Then the Dad would ask me to clean up the playroom and I would get the kids to do it and direct them until one day I blew up and said NO! If you don't want to be the 'bad guys' with your kids and leave that to me that is not fair! Get the kids to clean up or they do coloring until they do. Nanny's are not housekeepers! |
Anonymous
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you can get away with 2 occasionally, especially since you mentioned something medical. If it happens more than once every few weeks, the nanny is going to feel taken advantage of. If she has to leave it clean, then so do you. If you're willing to leave it a mess because the kids were still playing with the legos or whatever then she should be able to do the same.
More than anything though, Toy 1 should be put away before Toy 2 comes out--legos put away before marble run comes out, farm set put away before blocks come out etc. Cleaning as you go is the best way to manage messes, and at 4 and 8 those kids can 100% clean up with they dump. If they don't want to clean it, then remind them not to dump it out. I tell them as they're getting ready to unload a bin that they have to pick up 100% of what comes out so think carefully about the mess they make. |
Anonymous
| Depends on the nanny. My first one was older and old school and she would have cleaned that room until it was completely organized, mopped floors and did all sorts of other things unasked. I always apologized, never asked to clean anything beyond the messes they made. The second nanny we had wouldn't sweep after the kids ate their snack 20-30 min before she departed or put away those dishes. She was great in other ways so it annoyed me but i let it go. |
Anonymous
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OP here - Thanks for the input. I was in the ER for hours on Sunday (medical issue) so husband had kids and they did not do great clean up and then he worked late into the night on work and once I got back from ER was too drained to clean. Monday and Tuesday were crazy with kid after school events and practices, and honestly I still feel like total crap, so we just let the playroom slide.
Nanny had played outside much of Monday and Tuesday since it was great weather. I had a meeting get cancelled so had an hour on Wednesday and just put everything in order. DH and I were on opposite sides on the issue - he felt like we could tell older two to clean with nanny supervision and I didn't even want her to see the state of affairs and wished there was a door to close and lock. Nanny was very understanding and kind, but I was embarrassed by the situation and really try hard to not job creep or have two sets of rules. But wanted a check on what others would think. |
Anonymous
I don't understand why you take this on? The kids know they have to clean up, so why do they think there is ambiguity there? They are getting conflicting messages and getting away with it. Have a 'family meeting' with your nanny as well and set a standard rule that the playroom has to be tidied up PERIOD. Set a timer 10 minutes before you need them to exit and that is the time they have. Makes it easy for DH as well. If they can take it out they can put it away, even at 4 years old. Only one game or toy set per child and the older two can clean up and the older one (to help Mom while she is sick can monitor and help the younger ones. Start as you mean to go on, or you will be cleaning after forever and taking away their ability to take care of themselves.- |
Anonymous
No. She is ONLY responsible for clean up during her shift. Clean up as you go alone. No new you until old toy is out away. Lazy parents create messes. |
Anonymous
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OP… you went to the ER for a medical issue for hours, came home and considered cleaning the playroom?? Setting aside the nanny question, I hope you know it’s ok to have a messy house every once in a while - especially when you are having a medical issue! And especially stuff that you mentioned, like legos and play food. That just means the kids were using their imaginations, learning through play, etc. You sound like you are too hard on yourself!
Re the nanny question, I like the way the above pp framed it - the nanny should only be responsible for messes created during her shift. But, I also think a good nanny wouldn’t bat an eye to clean up the messes you mentioned where she knows you are having a medical issue and your husband has work stress. Just like I don’t bat an eye if there’s still a mess when my nanny leaves - just means the kids were really engaged and having fun! |
Anonymous
| If you had a medical emergency or a work emergency, and the nanny can’t help or you won’t ask for help, I would question whether she is worth having. Sounds like she’s adding stress to your life. She is an employee and should be making your home life easier, not harder. |
Anonymous
| I think you could do two if it’s rare. I would probably give her a small gift card with a note at the end of the week though just saying you appreciate her. |